tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1571350105150955858.post8426360661663008461..comments2023-03-22T13:57:58.651-04:00Comments on BHD's Musings: Straight Men and Gay Men, Part 3Booted Harleydudehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07668658280134091805noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1571350105150955858.post-36239190453762002012011-07-23T19:22:02.619-04:002011-07-23T19:22:02.619-04:00Thanks, Hank, for your comment. Let me refer you t...Thanks, Hank, for your comment. Let me refer you to a past blog post titled, <a href="http://bootedharleydude.blogspot.com/2010/06/androphilia-and-gay-man.html" rel="nofollow">Androphilia and the Gay Man</a>. I agree with what you said, and appreciate the time you took to provide such a thoughtful comment.Booted Harleydudehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07668658280134091805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1571350105150955858.post-19869171328913254772011-07-23T18:26:13.565-04:002011-07-23T18:26:13.565-04:00Gay or straight, you've got wonderful friends ...Gay or straight, you've got wonderful friends and family, dude. God bless them, and you.<br /><br />Your friend "T" identifies what I have thought for a long time to be the real concern and discomfort straight men have with gay men. It's not as much that they are uneasy with the sexual inclination itself, but with the lack of masculine bearing and behavior so many gay men display. Generally speaking, it's my impression that straight men will be much more comfortable in the presence of a known gay man who carries himself in a manner becoming and expected of men, as opposed to a gay man who epitomizes the stereotypical "nelly queen". I am reminded of an excellent book which addresses the subject of masculinity vs. femininity in gay men, Androphilia. The author, an openly gay man, makes the case rather persuasively. Furthermore, he goes on to reprimand gay men for consciously abandoning, even deriding, masculinity, and calls upon them to reclaim their rightful masculine character alongside their homosexual orientation. <br /><br />-HankAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1571350105150955858.post-39118700705302503612011-07-22T12:43:43.708-04:002011-07-22T12:43:43.708-04:00This has been an interesting series of great reads...This has been an interesting series of great reads. I never know what to expect on your blog, from the erudite to the excitement of riding your Harley to all of your boots....<br /><br />Speaking as one who grew up with you, four minutes apart in age, let me share some of my thoughts.<br /><br />Like you said, when you more fully shared your sexual orientation openly, you became more of a confident, successful man. I remember all of those conversations we had when you were more in the closet, where you shared worries about what you thought your bosses might think and do at work. Yet, you still were individualistic -- that is, riding your motorcycle to business meetings, wearing boots all the time, and also wearing your heart on your sleeve as you saved the world.<br /><br />I can say that knowing you as we grew up and seeing you emerge as an adult, achieving spectacular results in your profession, in community service, being elected and serving in a number of positions ... I myself developed an awe about you. I was never afraid or fearful or ashamed. You have always made me very proud to be your brother. Your being gay had nothing to do with my pride in sharing you with the world, and telling everyone that I am YOUR brother, proudly and loudly.<br /><br />Because I grew up with you, I never was uncomfortable around gay people and never had the back-away thoughts and actions that some others have had. You are you, I am me, and together we are brothers throughout life. <br /><br />I can safely speak for the whole family: we love you for who you are, regardless of your sexual orientation.<br /><br />Love always, ore e sempre,<br /><br />JAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1571350105150955858.post-16539117787966229922011-07-22T10:39:56.647-04:002011-07-22T10:39:56.647-04:00"I did not notice that you changed when you b..."I did not notice that you changed when you became more open about being gay, other than your self-confidence seemed to improve, and you became more relaxed and self-assured." And that's exactly how I felt when I came out. And because I felt this way, my relationships with family, friends, and co-workers became far more genuine and far less strained. <br /><br />--KevinAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com