BHD's Musings

Going Retro in Leather and Boots

2012-01-28T04:00:00.005-05:00

Even 28 years ago when I had my second bike, I wore boots and leather LOL!

In this photo, I am wearing my first pair of tall engineer boots made by Chippewa with the Sears label. I am seated on a Kawasaki 750, which was my second motorcycle after my first, a Kawasaki 440, crapped out after only three years.

The leather you see?

I am wearing a pair of leather jeans that I purchased via a mail order catalog from a company called "Deerskin." Man, those were very comfortable jeans!

Also shown is the first leather shirt that I struck up the courage to purchase from a store located within the DC Eagle. Visiting that store scared the beejeebers out of me. The first two times that I tried to go to the store, I never made it because my fears got the best of me. Man, all those guys in full leather and boots -- what were they going to do to me?

Turns out, as I learned from experience, these guys were friendly and non-threatening. They pretty much kept to themselves, within their own groups (clubs, cliques), and left me alone. But the first visit or two, I was afraid that I was going to be attacked. Never happened. The only attention that I received was smiles and winks.

I receive the occasional email message from younger guys who are exploring their interest in leather. Man, they have it so much easier these days with leather fetish and motorcycle leather vendors so easily accessible on the internet. (See the links page on my website for recommendations.) Back when this photo was taken, the internet was restricted to military applications and us regular dudes didn't even know what it was.

Well, anyway, thank you for traveling down memory lane with me. Yeah, it is easier to get leathers and tall boots these days -- and you can, and should, wear them even if you do not ride or own a motorcycle.

Life is short: wear leather!

Not Being One of the Kool Kids

2012-01-27T04:00:00.005-05:00

Most everyone wants to be accepted among "the in group" -- "the cool crowd" -- those who are admired and lead the pack. In straight male culture, the "kool kids" are the Alpha Males. In gay culture, these are the "A-Gays." If you get an alpha male or a-gay to like you and accept you among his friends, invite you to his events -- anything from "lunch with the gang" or a "pick up motorcycle ride among us friends" or a "night out on the town" -- then "you've made it."

Or have you?

Throughout my life, I have struggled with observing the behaviors of the "kool kids" and wondering if I could be more like them. When I was in high school, most of the "cool guys" were graceful, athletic, and went to all the dances. Man, that left me out. Yeah, this klutzy kid never grew into the graceful man. Such is the life of a quarantasinestrapede*.

The Alpha Males center on guy-things, like spouses/girlfriends, sports, cars, and other things that social expectations dictate. Males are taught to behave that way from the day they are born.

There again, that leaves me out... while I like women as friends, it is obvious that I am not interested in women as straight men are interested in them -- sexually. Interest in sports? Nope... I really don't care for sports of any sort. I was happy to be my jock twin brother's main cheering section back in the day, and that's it.

Alpha gays seem to spend a lot of time choosing "the right" clothes. They (IMHO) obsess on grooming. They spend a lot of time socializing.

Man, there again, that leaves me out. Fashion statement I'm not. Suit, tie, and dress shoes? I'd rather be in leather and boots. Grooming? I'm happy to take a shower every day, towel my hair dry, and leave it "product-free." Smelly cologne? No.friggin.way. Socializing? Nope... bedtime arrives early!

As I have matured, I have grown comfortable in my own skin (and the skin of cows), and with the choices that I make about what I do, how I dress, and avoiding discomfort -- such as being around others watching "the game" or dancing during a night on the town.

I have also realized that being one of the cool crowd as an adult has many similarities to how school kids behave -- watching, posturing, boasting, and closing into a clique. In fact, this just happened to me once again when I attended a dinner held by a group to which I belong. Seating at the dinner was open -- except for the kool kids, one of whose leaders made nameplates made for them to reserve spaces at the two best tables in the room. Gosh, this kiddie stuff still happens... disappointing, but not surprising.

Relating back to the opening of this post -- "you've made it if you can get an alpha male/A-gay to accept you as one of his friends -- or have you?" ...

I have realized that I am who I am and what makes me, "me," is not going to change. I have also come to terms with the understanding that the characteristics, behaviors, and even style of dress that I have adopted are not on the "favorable list" among the a-guys. So I remain left out.

Have I "not made it" as a result? No, on the contrary...

I have made it to another level of comfort with myself, and a sort of pity for those who feel that they have to behave the way that they do -- anything from arranging name plates on a table for their clique, to grooming and dressing in a certain way (and espousing disdain for those who do not).

I really do feel sorry for those who feel that they must behave that way. I am better than that. So look to me to lead the way to a different level of self-acceptance and comfort in the complex man that I am.

Life is short: accept yourself.

*Quarantasinestrapede: "forty left feet". Having left feet is an American expression meaning that the person so-footed cannot dance because he is known to step on his partner's feet or trip over his own, or both. Having 40 left feet is even worse. Believe me, I know... perhaps that is why I own so many boots, to have enough for each of my 40 left feet.

One Year Ago Today

2012-01-26T04:00:00.005-05:00

I can hardly believe it has been a whole year. One year ago today, I held the hand of my 96-year-old aunt as she lay bewildered, uncomfortable, and miserable in a hospital bed. She briefly opened her eyes, and asked where she was and what happened.

... a brief interlude of lucidity among the deep clouds that Alzheimer's Disease wrought on her brain.

I explained that she had a heart attack, and that she was being treated in a hospital.

"A hospital? I don't want to be here...".

Gosh that hurt. "Of course, sweet aunt, I know you don't want to be here, but you're not well enough to be home right now."

Then she closed her eyes, and I thought she was going to sleep. Suddenly, she opened her eyes wide and reached for my hand again. With strength I didn't think she had, she pulled me close. She kissed me, and said the last words that I would ever hear from her,

"Thank you, thank you. I love you."

... then she closed her eyes, dropped her hand, and stopped breathing.

The alarms on her monitors started bleeping and screeching and making quite a cacophony. I just sat there with her, and two of her caregivers who were there with us.

Nurses ran in, but honored our previous discussions -- my aunt had a "DNR -- Do Not Resuscitate" order -- so they silenced the alarms and left the room.

I had made my peace, knowing that I had done everything possible that I could do to ensure that she was happy and safe in the last years of her life, up until her dying day. I have many fond memories of this memorable time in my life.

The rest of that day was a blur. I talked to her sons who live out-of-state, and who made arrangements to come as soon as they could. My siblings offered to come look after me, but there really wasn't anything that they could do. I just wanted to go home and be held by my partner.

Soon enough, I regained my composure and strength, and moved on to do what needed to be done, to honor my aunt and observe her final wishes.

Dealing with death is never easy, but when you know in your heart that the loved-one you cared for was happy and that you had fulfilled all promises and moreso, then the grief is not as painful. Sure, I cried, but I slept well that night, too, knowing in my heart that my aunt was finally at peace.

Life is short: show those you love how you love them, each and every day.

Frye or Wesco Boots?

2012-01-24T04:00:00.002-05:00

Kid you not, this was a question that landed a visitor to this blog. Unfortunately, it was directed to a post where I discussed differences between Chippewa and Wesco boots, not Frye. Oh well, here goes... what are the major comparisons between Frye and Wesco boots?

Hmmm... like what's the difference between a Yugo and a Harley?

Some readers may not be old enough to know what a Yugo was... photo shown... a little car made in by the Serbian automaker Zastava that was imported in the U.S. It was notorious for frequent breakdowns as a result of poor manufacturing processes. Compared with a Harley -- purely in jest -- one would easily find a Harley motorcycle to be much more reliable and better built than a Yugo. The only comparisons were that both of these machines were vehicles made of steel and had tires. That is it.

Today, this comparison is sort of the same when it comes to Frye boots and Wesco boots. While some of the men's classic-designed Frye boots are made in the USA, the process of Frye bootmaking took a serious nosedive when the original John A. Frye Company of Massachusetts sold out in 2003, and was subsequently purchased, sold, bought, and re-sold by a string of holding companies. The current company that owns the Frye name is Li and Fung, based in China.

The companies that have owned the Frye name since the original company sold out were, in my opinion, not interested in making boots -- they were interested in selling boots with a name that was well-recognized in the United States (and around the world.) These companies simply bought the "Frye" name, then had boots made of similar, but not equal, design and made with lower quality materials by machines. However, the price of a new pair of Frye boots is very high, especially considering the low value one gets from the use of cheap materials and labor to make these boots today.

The company that makes Wesco boots, on the other hand, has been owned and operated by the same family since 1918. Their bootmaking facilities are based in Scappoose, Oregon, near Portland. Other than making boots, this is where similarities between Frye boots and Wesco boots end.

Wesco boots have superior leather, materials (such as Kevlar stitching), Vibram soles, double-stitching at the sole and stress points, as well as each boot being made under human control and attention. Yes, machines are used to do various processes in making the boots, but always under human touch -- from forming the foot onto the last (the form), to stitching the sole onto the boot, and much more.

I'll throw an intermediate boot brand in here for consideration. This is based on a comment that someone posted with one of my videos. That is -- Chippewa boots. Well cared-for Chippewa boots will last as long as Wesco boots. Chippewas are very well-made, and made in the USA. To a lot of guys, it doesn't make sense to spend two or three times as much on a pair of boots if you would get the quality from Chippewas that you would from Wesco boots. While Wesco boots have some more features that Chippewa boots do not -- such as lug soles -- for the most part, the two brands (Chippewa and Wesco) compare well -- sort of like a Chevrolet and a Cadillac (in U.S. car comparison terms, carrying the analogy that began above.) Both cars (i.e., boots) "drive" well.

Price-wise, a new pair of Frye boots is almost the same as a new pair of Chippewa boots, but that is it. Frye quality suffers tremendously. The money they save on using cheaper materials and labor to make Frye boots lines the pockets of the Chinese owners of the Frye label. Frankly, I would rather invest money in a U.S. owned and operated company (Chippewa or Wesco) than Frye.

In my opinion, there is no true comparison between new Frye boots and new Wesco boots. It's worse than comparing apples and oranges ... or ... Yugos and Harleys.

Life is short: know boot quality!

Mail Bounces

2012-01-23T10:00:00.012-05:00

I enjoy receiving messages from people all over the world who visit this blog and my website.

Unfortunately, there are times when I receive an email bounce, which reads like this:

This is the mail system at host gateway07.xxxx

I'm sorry to have to inform you that your message could not be delivered to one or more recipients.

The mail system

: host mta2.am0.yahoodns.net[xx.xx.xxx.xxx] said: 554
delivery error: dd This user doesn't have a yahoo.com account
(jimxxxx@yahoo.com) [-5] - mta1434.mail.mud.yahoo.com (in reply to end of DATA command)

[I deliberately obscured the actual email address, but Jim should know who he is]

This is a sample from an actual bounced email that occurred earlier today, January 23. The message from a guy in the U.K. was very nice, and I wrote a reply, but unfortunately, he did not enter his email address correctly on my write to me page, so my effort to respond to him was returned -- and he is left thinking that I never responded and probably worse about me as a person. I hate it when that happens.

Please, if you write to me, follow the instructions to double-check your email address. If it is wrong, even by one character, then it will bounce (or perhaps be delivered to someone else.)

If you are the author of a message from my "write to me" page and have not received a reply, then please, write again, and make certain that I have your correct email address! I will reply to all legitimate messages that I receive.

Life is short: ensure accuracy.

Dress Shoes and Cowboy Hat?

2012-01-22T04:00:00.039-05:00

Another search that landed a visitor to my "Cowboy Boots Tutorial" on my website. The searcher asks, "can I wear dress shoes with a cowboy hat?"

... and the searcher is from McKinney, Texas?

Really? ... the state with the most cowboy boot-wearing men in the U.S.? Really?

Well, I guess you "can," as it, yes, it is possible to wear a cowboy hat and dress shoes, but the real question is, why?

For so long I have blogged about having the freedom to choose to wear boots with dress clothes, urging guys to let go of their trepidations, fears of what others may say, and so forth ... so I guess I should not have a negative opinion about the other-way-around. That is, it is often perceived that cowboy boots are worn with casual, not business, attire. A cowboy hat is considered, inaccurately, as being a part of casual attire.

The opposite way of thinking is combining a "casual" cowboy hat with "business attire" dress shoes. Well, yeah, you can do that if you want. Probably few others do it, but that's their problem, not yours. Wear what you want! Even in Texas, there are no rules that require a man who wants to wear a cowboy hat that he must wear cowboy boots.

"Can" you wear dress shoes with a cowboy hat? Answer: yes.

The real question is, "do you want to?"

Well, that's up to you. Forget about what other people may say -- that is their problem, not yours. If you want to wear a cowboy hat with dress shoes, then go for it! Even in Texas. You will not be shot for wearing both. Even in Texas.

Life is short: wear what you want (but boots are better than silly ol' shoes... bleccchhh).

Observations from First Timer at MAL

2012-01-20T04:00:00.004-05:00

Note from BHD: The following guest blog post was written by my friend Kevin who has written guest blog pieces before and comments frequently on this blog. He was invited by a friend who lives in Washington, DC, to visit and drop by to see what Mid-Atlantic Leather (MAL) weekend was all about. Here are his observations. (Sorry, no photos, but I learned a few years ago that there are some closet cases who get very upset if their image of them at MAL appears anywhere, so for respect of those who don't want to be seen there, I have no photos to post with this message).

My weekend trip to DC was fantastic and I was quite pleased and pleasantly surprised to discover that my friend planned for me to visit this past weekend because MAL was happening and he knew that I wouldn't venture there by myself. My preconceived ideas would have gotten the better of me and I would have missed out on a truly important growth experience. I am indeed fortunate that I can be myself with them and they love me unconditionally. As a result, I'm learning to strip away the barriers I've built over a lifetime. I'm thankful to have supportive and loving friends who allow me to do so.

My friend, a couple he knew, and I ventured out on Saturday afternoon to attend the leather mart. I chose to wear jeans and a pair of wingtip cowboy boots and my friend donned a rubber shirt. Unknown to me, my friend has been to several MAL events over the years and his interest leans toward rubber wear.

We made our way to the registration area and paid the $10 fee to enter the leather mart. I believe the proceeds go to charity. Heading down the escalator I spied my first view of a man wearing a**less chaps. [BHD note: all chaps are a**less, but I digress...] I anticipated encountering this sight at some point during the day and I thought it was good to see that at the very beginning. We made our way through the various rooms of leather and rubber wear and a few demonstrations of how to use some gear were going on as well. The couple we were with tried on and purchased a pair of matching harnesses from a wonderful dealer from Miami. The salesperson couldn't entice me to try one on, however. I was far too anxious for that!

Next we ventured into the ballroom where the puppy pen was taking place. Now that's something I really didn't expect to see. My friend could see that my anxiety level was growing, although I thought I was hiding it pretty well, and suggested that I have a cocktail. I had a couple of beers and calmed down considerably.

The couple we were with had to leave. My friend and I spent some time in the main lobby people watching. It was fascinating. It was at that moment that it began to feel comfortable and somewhat at home. I saw all shapes and sizes of men in a variety of gear and boots and began to see how comfortable they were just being themselves. We pointed out to each other those men who wore their gear very attractively. I also began to realize that for many, their leather/rubber/police/football gear was a form of drag. A few seemed to be more serious sporting various colors of shoestrings, handkerchiefs, and the like signaling their interests in various fetish activities.

We ventured downstairs again for a short while before it was time for us to leave. I suggested that we return to the leather mart on Sunday afternoon and I purchased a couple of items myself.

The lesson I learned from my experience at MAL was that we're all multi-faceted. I can find a man equally attractive if one day he's wearing harness boots, a harness and a**less chaps or dressed in a suit another day. The drag doesn't define the man. Although it may serve to characterize a particular interest that enhances how attractive he feels, it's only clothing and what the man chooses to wear at that moment. And the same can be said about me. And if that clothing choice enhances my feelings of sexual attractiveness -- all the better. I'm learning to appreciate and not fear the part of myself that is a sexual being -- if that makes sense. From watching the puppies and their handlers, I also learned that there's nothing wrong with role-play between two consenting adults. It can provide a healthy and very satisfying outlet.

So, I've marked it on my calendar for next year's MAL and am strongly considering attending IML in Chicago at the end of May. LOL...I might just buy myself a harness at next year's event.

So, my friend, there you have it...my first and hopefully not last experience at MAL. The only disappointing aspect was the lack of cowboy boot wearers. I only saw one couple dressed in matching boots, hats, vests and jeans. But the abundance of harness boot wearers more than made up for it!

Men's Confusion on Masculinity Today

2012-01-18T04:00:00.036-05:00

The following guest blog was written by someone from Belgium who visited this blog, read many of my previous posts, and sent me an email. He brings to light interesting points about views of masculinity, women's roles in today's society, influence on choices of clothing, and more specifically, boots as a choice of male footwear.

In honor and respect of privacy, I will not reveal the writer's name or contact information, but if you have comments, please leave them on this post or write to me and I will forward your comments to him.

Guest Blog from a Straight Man in Belgium

For me, a man's sexual orientation is not important. But as a straight man (married, with 3 kids) I notice how many straight guys are in fact very insecure and confused.

I don't see this confusion amongst women. What is masculine these days in a society where women are playing more and more a leading role? Is there still room for old fashioned masculinity? Don't get me wrong. I'm glad that women have taken their rightful place in society, but it has left lots of men (and boys) in confusion. Not that they want to turn back the clock, but we do have to re-evaluate what being a man is about.

I wonder if the boots-are-gay-thing isn't just an aspect of this. Women have adopted more traditional men's wear (e.g., boots). It started after World War I, during the roaring twenties, when women in Europe demanded the right to vote. At the same time the French female fashion designer Coco Chanel invented a masculine inspired form of women's fashion that still has its influence till now. Coincidence? I don't think so, because a few decades later, in the sixties, gogo-boots became a huge fashion. Is it a coincidence that it started at the same time that women were massively emancipating? Again, I don't think so.

Fashion designers are artists who just pick up the spirit of their age and transform it into fashion. So, women demanding their place in society wanted to show this emancipation by wearing powerful clothing. The fashion designers made this clothing. Boots have always been associated with power and so women wearing boots show their "girl power". Just observe how some women wear their boots in an office and you'll see what I mean.

But where does it leave the men?

Again, I think men are very much confused. They don't know any more what it means to be a man. To be honest, I don't have a ready-made-answer either. Maybe every man has to find out himself what he thinks being a man is about.

What I do know is that this confusion also makes men insecure on what to wear. Some men just play safe and stick to the suit, that always works. All the others stick to sportswear, because sports is masculine. Far searched? I don't think so. The famous fashion designer, Dirk Bikkembergs, uses soccer as the model for his men's clothing. Everything is soccer-based, so you'll find lots of sneakers in his line of footwear.

Where does it leave the boots?

Well, I think lots of men stick to sneakers because it's sports and thus masculine. Since women now mostly wear boots, some men will accuse those men who wear boots to be feminine (read gay). They get confused because "real" men wear sneakers. Ridiculous? Absolutely, but it shows the level of confusion. So, if you feel confident as a man (and I really don't care weather you are gay or straight) wear what you want to wear, but do it with confidence. So, if you want to wear boots, do it!

And for the straight guys: women like a man with confidence. If you wear boots with confidence and style, they'll love you for it. Because although a lot has changed, some things haven't. Women want men with personality and for me boots are a nice way to show off my masculine personality. Trust me, it works. And now I think about it, it probably is the same in gay relationships. Don't we all want a partner with personality?

Note from BHD: I sincerely appreciate that readers take time to send me comments or thoughts about what they read on this blog. I invite guest posts from others, and assure you that I will maintain respect for the privacy of individuals who communicate with me.

As for my footwear? I'm comfortable in my own skin (or the skin of cows). No worries, I'll remain booted wherever I go, whatever I do.

Dehner Patrol Booted

2012-01-16T04:00:00.019-05:00

Today, Monday, marks a holiday in the United States. I have the day off from work. It also marks the end of "leather weekend." While I did not attend any of the Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend events, I did have some time yesterday to take some photos of me in a new-to-me pair of Dehner patrol boots that arrived on Friday.

I was going to take a short ride on my Harley yesterday to break these boots in, but it was too darn cold, so I just leathered up, posted photos to my website, and enjoyed my partner's company.

What's special about these boots, and don't I have enough Dehner Boots already?

These Dehner patrol boots are made of all leather. I chose the Voyager leather, which is significantly less expensive than European Calf Leather which used to be the only all-leather Dehner boots available. I arranged a good buy of these boots through Stompers Boots of San Francisco -- taking advantage of my own "BHD" coupon (that is, enter "BHD" as a coupon code for an on-line sale or say it if you call, and you will get $20 off an order of $200 or more.)

Yeah, okay, I have a number of pairs of Dehner boots which I have acquired for many years. Some of my older pairs don't fit me all that well, but I still really like how they look and the style.

I can't wait to break these boots in properly with a good ride on the Harley, but until the weather breaks, that will have to wait. Meanwhile, I broke in these boots (manually, at first--see this post), then I wore them while wearing them all day Sunday, starting with taking some senior pals to church, then running some errands, and then taking some pics for a photo shoot for my website. After that -- snuggle time with my partner (with my boots on!)

Today, I will be in work boots and jeans while doing a major home safety make-over for a sweet senior couple to whom I was introduced recently. I have recruited several friends, including some pros (carpenters and electricians). We will spend the day as a day of service commemorating the values of Dr. Martin Luther King, whose birthday is the reason for this holiday. I am putting my time off to good use (and no longer terrorizing the 'hood by running around in full leather LOL!)

Life is short: enjoy your boots!

Leather Weekend in the 'Burbs

2012-01-14T04:00:00.007-05:00

Welcome to leather weekend in the 'burbs. That is, the suburbs of Washington DC where Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend -- aka "the leather weekend" -- is being held. Been there, done that, got the boots shined, smoked the cigar, ate the greasy chow....

So what is "Leather Weekend" like for an old-guard (alt. "old fart") leather dude who is not going to MAL and hanging out in the 'burbs?

When I rise this morning, I will check on my partner who is sleeping in a different room because he is not feeling well. I think he is (finally) over his cold, so first thing will be a long-awaited snuggle next to my man when he awakens. I just want to hold him closely, feel his warmth, and show him how I love him. We will watch the sunrise cast a golden glow on the bark of the trees in the forest behind our home.

When we get out of bed, I'll put on a pair of leather jeans, a leather shirt, boots, and then prepare our breakfast. After that, I'll don a black leather cop jacket and my partner and I will do our grocery shopping. It's been a long time since my partner has been out of the house (except to doctor's offices), so he will enjoy feeling a bit more human again.

After we get back home and unload, I'll head out again and pick up three or four of my senior pals and take them grocery shopping. Imagine -- here's this guy in head-to-boot leather escorting octogenarians throughout a grocery store. Really, no.big.deal. No one ever, ever says anything about my wearing leather. Ever. (They're used to it.)

When I get back home, it will be time for lunch. I will prepare something from scratch -- perhaps a homemade pizza. I love to make fresh dough and use my own homemade sauce. Because my partner has a severely restricted diet due to his health condition, it is far better for me to prepare all of our meals so I can control what my partner is exposed to that could possible aggravate his condition.

Saturday afternoon, I will change from my full leather outfit to BDUs, t-shirt, and work boots to continue working on marble surround for our bathroom shower. It will be great when it's finished -- but it takes both time and a toll on my friggin' knees and back, having to bend over while working in a tight space and also having to run up and down stairs to use the wet saw that I place outside our basement door.

Also, throughout the afternoon, I will "multi-task" and make some pasta, pasta sauce, and some breads. I love to cook, but some of these things take time for various processes to work (such as bread rising). So there you can imagine me, in work clothes and boots, in my kitchen being all domestic. (giggle.)

After I finish the tile work for the day, I hope my partner will be feeling well enough to join me in our two-man, two-headed shower (wink) so I can clean up.

We will have dinner -- probably the pasta that I just made -- then go into our basement media room, curl up together, and watch a movie. Just chill... so much better (to us alt. "old farts") than the huge hassle of driving into the city for a leather-related thing to do. We've done that before, but just are not interested in that now (and my partner isn't well enough to think about doing that anyway.)

Sunday: lather, rinse, repeat. Or should I say, "leather, rinse, repeat." I will dress again in full leather (including a leather dress shirt and tie), and take some senior pals to church for a very early service. I love a good Latin Mass, and translating for my friends. Keeps the mind active. I will come home and prepare a brunch for my partner and me.

Sunday afternoon will find me at a great nephew's birthday party. It will be good to see my family, laugh, smile, kid around. Me in -- you guessed it -- head-to-boot leather -- and just being one of the bunch of loud, raucous, happy relatives sharing a birthday for a loved-one.

Dinner at home with my partner, then relaxing once again in our basement, snuggling closely. Sure beats going to some dance with loud boonga-boonga-boonga noise and dancing. Ugggh... not for me.

Monday is a holiday in the United States -- and some groups try to hold a "day of service" since the holiday is in recognition of Dr. Martin Luther King. I have discovered that these "day-of-service" things don't work all that well where I live, so I have organized my own "day of service." I have made arrangements with about five seniors to go help them with something -- from running errands to fixing something in their home. This will be my small little contribution to the larger "day-of-service" effort. Meanwhile, my partner will remain at home and rest.

How will I dress for this day-of-service? Probably my work clothes -- denim jeans, work boots, flannel shirt. I don't want to get leather all dirty when I have to crawl under a sink to replace a garbage disposal, or get the leather all covered with dust if I do carpentry and drywall repair.

Life is short: enjoy a leather weekend wherever you are!

Travelling To MAL in Washington, DC?

2012-01-12T04:00:00.006-05:00

Well, it's just about here -- as I call it -- the "second-largest gathering of the Leather Clan in the USA" (largest gathering still being International Mr. Leather in Chicago on the last weekend of May). I have had a few guys contact me to ask if I am going to MAL, but as I said in my previous post, I am not. There are other things going on in my life that make MAL a no-go for me this year.

For those of you who ARE traveling to DC to attend MAL, especially those traveling by air, let me share some quick tips, based on my "Air Travel with Leather Gear" tutorial.

Rule number 1: Less is more. You do not have to bring every pair of tall black boots and item of leather gear you own with you. Plan to mix-and-match to produce a variety of appearances with a few items of leather gear. After all, it is just a weekend, and unless you have entered the contest, you don't need a lot of different leather items and pairs of boots to wear throughout the weekend.
Essential gear for MAL, in my opinion, includes:
(a) leather breeches or jeans; denim jeans and boots are okay, too. (You'll see lots of guys in regular blue jeans and boots; not everyone wears full leather all the time.)
(b) leather shirt;
(c) black long-sleeve t-shirt;
(d) leather vest;
(e) good solid black leather belt;
(f) warm leather jacket, but preferably of the cheap variety so it is not as attractive for theft;
(g) hat -- legendary Muir cap preferred, but a plain black ball cap will do -- do not bring or buy a cap that has "special police" or something like that on it--you'll look like Deputy Dawg who just fell off the turnip truck;
(h) one pair of "show" boots, like Dehners or similar, and one pair of comfortable walking boots, like regular harness boots, to wear on the plane, while transferring from the airport to the hotel, and also to wear while being a tourist (hiking boots are a good alternative.) Cowboy boots will work, too. Just not sneakers -- not to a leather gathering!
(i) leather gloves -- it will be cold at night, so gloves will keep your hands warm. Some guys also like to wear gloves with full leather, too.
Optional leather gear includes a pair of chaps which you can wear over jeans for a different "biker-leather" appearance, or to have on if you intend to play in leather. 'nuf said.
Good quality socks. Believe me, your feet will get tired from all the walking and standing you will do. Socks that are made of a combination of three materials--cotton (for comfort), rayon/daycron/nylon (for durability), and wool (to wick away sweat)--are very important.
If you will be wearing long-sleeved shirts, then you don't really need an arm band, do you? Same is true for gauntlets, wrist bands, etc. However, you may consider a leather wrist band in which you can keep cash.
What you don't need: floggers, handcuffs, police batons, whips, chains... etc. Really, this stuff is heavy, invites unwanted attention by the cop-wannabe-TSA boys, and unless you have made previous arrangements, it is not likely that you will use any of this stuff. It's just for show, and the trade-off for carrying all that weight for toys you won't really use isn't worth it, in my opinion.

Also, some guys who really aren't into the leather "scene" may be attending out of curiosity. By all means, go! There is no "rule" that one must dress in leather to attend MAL (unless you are a competitor). If you are curious about what this event is all about, drop in (pay the price of a day pass or a ticket to the MAL contest, or dance.) Wear denim jeans, a black shirt, boots, a leather jacket, and perhaps a ballcap, and you'll fit right in. No worries.

Okay, so you have read my recommendations for what to bring and what not to bring on this trip. For those who do not own much (or any) leather garments or boots, there will be a leather exhibit area at the hotel if you want to check out and buy some new gear. If you plan to make any purchases, be sure to leave room in your luggage (or make arrangements for return shipping).

Now, here are some tips about DC, specifically:

Plan for the weather: as it looks now, it will be cold but not frigid. Above freezing during the day, below freezing at night. No rain or snow. Since no accumulating snow has fallen in DC yet this winter, there are no patches of ice or mounds of snow to traverse.

There will be ongoing maintenance work on the subway (Metro) system that may make traveling by Metro quite inconvenient. Check Metro's website for updated information. Remember, Metro is not cheap as it used to be, but it is less expensive that taxis or renting a car and paying for parking.
The DC Eagle is 1 walkable mile from the Hyatt; the Green Lantern is two miles away; and it is about 2.5 miles to gay area of DC, Dupont Circle. Have comfortable hiking boots, use a taxi, or use shuttles when provided to get to these destinations. Unfortunately, the Metro is not convenient to get between the host hotel and these venues.
If you buy anything at a drug store or convenience shop, plan to pay an extra five cents tax if you take your items in a bag. Bring your own bag or stuff your pockets with your purchases to avoid paying this nuisance tax (which also applies now in the "monkey-see/monkey-do" county where I live in adjoining Maryland.)
Smoking is prohibited inside any building in DC, including bars and restaurants. It's even prohibited within 25 feet of a doorway -- and sometimes the cops enforce that law. Just be prepared.
Cops also have been giving out jay-walking tickets, if you cross a street outside of a marked crosswalk. Just be careful -- lots of nuisances out there.
Since your last visit -- even if it were last year -- be careful if you are driving in the city. They have installed many more red light and speed cameras. DC has reciprocity with many states and has arrangements with rental car agencies -- so a ticket will catch up with you, eventually. Just stop at the lights and obey the speed limit to be safe and avoid getting a surprise in the mail in the next few weeks or months.
As with any big city, crime can happen, so keep your eyes open. Walk in a group if possible, and don't do something stupid like use your iPhone on the Metro, where snatch-and-run thefts have occurred. Think about it: walking around in full leather advertises that you've got money. Leather isn't cheap. Thieves know that, so be cautious about what you are flashing around (electronic gadgets, etc.), avoid walking alone anywhere at night, etc. Just use common sense.

I'm sure there is more. There is always more. Generally speaking, plan to travel smart -- pack the essentials, but not your whole gear trunk. Enjoy your visit, and thanks for contributing to my local economy. Sorry I won't see you there!

Life is short: travel safely and smart!

Mid-Atlantic Leather

2012-01-11T04:00:00.035-05:00

Yep, it's that time of year again for the second-largest gathering of the leather clan in the United States -- an event called Mid-Atlantic Leather. It begins on Friday, January 13, and runs through Sunday night/Monday morning with a dance.

Leather, boots, hormone-driven gay men... all in one place in Washington, DC.

Okay, I've got the boots, leather gear, and last I checked, my hormones are still working. Will I be attending?

Nope... and regular readers know why. My partner is not well, and even if he were, this event is better suited for the younger single guys rather than us old farts who live out in the suburbs and think it's late when the clock strikes 21:00 (9pm.) LOL! Plus, at $180 for the cost of registration, not to mention the cost of a hotel room -- sorry, I can think of many other things on which I would rather spend my money.

Yeah, I speak for myself when I say, "old fart." There are many guys of all ages who attend "MAL". I admire the guys my age and older who can put up with the noise, lack of sleep, and who seem to thrive on an active nightlife that goes late into the night into the wee hours of the morning. Not for me, not for my partner, and not for us as a couple since we don't play around with other men. Sorry, not interested.

Sure, I'd like to catch up with some guys I know who will be attending, and watch guys strutting in their leather finest. Perhaps attend the BLUF gathering on Saturday afternoon... though I can't stand the surly bartenders at the Green Lantern bar, that's where this event will be held (while official "MAL Events" are all at the Hyatt Regency on Capitol Hill). Chit-chat with guys from the HotBoots site... perhaps in the hotel lobby or around the MAL event itself. Tempting... but not this year.

That kind of thing is not my life these days, and won't be. I have grown beyond it. Don't take this wrong -- I am not implying immaturity or anything wrong with the guys who enjoy this highly social event. Staying up late, drinking alcoholic beverages, smoking cigars, and swapping stories with other guys dressed in leather is not something I want to do any more.

If you go, enjoy seeing old friends, making new friends, and taking it all in -- the one time each year that you will see guys in boots and leather on the streets of DC, in bars and restaurants, and visiting monuments. Otherwise, DC is rather staid and "suit-y" in dark, drab clothing and ugly dress shoes.

Also, remember to play safe. Seriously -- AIDS is still easily transmissible among those who let their guard down, especially if they're drunk or high or both. And it is such a tragedy that this disease is still so prevalent when its spread can be prevented by taking some simple precautions. (You know what they are!)

Life is short: realize when interests change.

Ethnic Stereotypes of Clothes and Boots

2012-01-09T04:00:00.015-05:00

I received an email recently where someone asked me some questions about wearing boots with certain clothing choices. In that message, he also said,

I have recently acquired yellow Tony Lama boots and a pair of orange Dan Post boots. I plan on wearing them with jeans over the boots, but do not know what type of shirt to wear and not look like a Mexican.

Really? Honestly, this caught me by surprise. Does a certain combination of jeans over colorful boots and a certain kind or color of shirt make one "look like a Mexican?"

Okay, I admit, I live in a multicultural area, the suburbs of the capital of the United States, where people from all over the world live and work. Not only in the Diplomatic corps, but also those who come from other countries who work in various companies and international organizations that work with our country.

Further, the county where I live has become much more ethnically diverse. The little neighborhood that I developed has brought me neighbors who come from 13 countries of the world. So yeah, I am very accustomed to "living diversity" (one way of saying it) ... or just recognizing that people are people from all over the place, and I enjoy being among it all.

When I look at someone, I never have given thought to the clothes (and boots) that they wear making them appear to be of a particular ethnic origin. I was stunned to think that wearing a certain color shirt with blue denim jeans and orange cowboy boots is considered by some people to be a "Mexican uniform." Yowza! Never in a million years would I have thought that.

However, in doing more searching on the topic, I found a post in response to why younger people of today laugh at guys who wear cowboy boots and hats. The post said:

It depends on the culture. Cowboy hats and boots aren't really "in style" for this generation of youth. However, in Mexican culture the men wear cowboy hats and boots all the time and even young Mexican kids do too. It's just when they reach the teenage years, peer pressure tends to make them stray from that style.

Perhaps this is where the link to wearing cowboy boots being a "Mexican uniform" came from in the original writer's inquiry.

To confirm my own thoughts that there is no such "uniform of ethnicity" (particularly of Hispanic origin) in the part of the U.S. where I live, I dropped by my local big box building supplies retailer (whose name will not be mentioned on this blog) and had a chat with a dozen day laborers. It is well known that day laborers gather at [building supplies retailer], hoping that someone will hire them to do labor. I have done that on occasion when I have needed help from very hard-working men.

During my conversation, I looked at what these guys were wearing. The UoD for Hispanic day laborers is jeans, work boots or sneakers, and various shirts. Flannel, denim, etc. Because it was chilly, the men were wearing cloth or denim jackets -- what any worker would wear. I didn't notice any particular color or style of clothing that might make someone think that if I wore it, I was Hispanic.

I dunno, perhaps it's different where the writer of that email is from. Not where I live. And I am thankful for that.

Life is short: avoid furthering stereotypes that promote ongoing xenophobia and arrogance.

Post 1400 and Blogging

2012-01-07T04:00:00.009-05:00

Welcome to post #1400 on this blog. Regular readers have been accustomed to a new post each day, but I've pretty much run out of new content -- or at least enough to write a new post for each day, 365 days/year.

For a while, unless there is breaking news, I will scale back to a new post every other day and see how that goes.

I am still spending most of my waking hours (when I am not at my place of work) caring for my partner, who remains quite ill with an unknown serious medical situation. Caring for him takes the majority of my free time, which includes blogging time. Heck, if I have to spend an hour doing the laundry or cleaning the house so my partner can rest, so be it.

Thank you for reading my musings -- ramblings, mostly -- on a regular basis. I appreciate it. I like to write (obviously), and share information I have learned, take note of amusing internet behavior, comment on issues related to being a plain ol' gay man who happens to like wearing boots and leather and who lives in a monogamous, permanent, closed relationship.

I appreciate that I have visitors from near and far. I still have two lurkers from my home town who visit every day -- almost predictably at a specific hour. I don't know if these guys are "secret Bootmen" or are spies from some of my local groups in which I participate, or what... but nonetheless, I hope you're enjoying finding out more about me, just a regular guy next door who has an alter ego about which you were unaware.

I also appreciate the large number of visitors to this blog from my own country, the United States, as well as from Canada, Mexico, the U.K., Germany, Sweeden, Netherlands, Denmark, Finland, Switzerland, Italy, France, Spain, and the rest of Europe, Russia, Brazil, Japan, and New Zealand and Australia -- lands I long to return to visit some day. I also have regular visitors from Japan and a few from Hong Kong, but none from China, as China still shamefully blocks blogs on Blogger from appearing on the internet in that country.

About 90% of the visitors to this blog come from internet searches. Text searches are the majority, but image searches land a lot of visitors here, too. Since Blogger is a Google product, it is not surprising to me that searches using the world's most frequently-used search engine drive a large number of visitors to this blog every hour of every day. Since this blog is quite mature -- 1,400 posts now -- there is a lot of content that appears in search results when people look for information about boots, leather, wearing boots, what's in style for men, and the ongoing obsession about whether to wear jeans inside or outside of boots.

In closing, thank you again for visiting this blog, reading my ramblings, and occasionally commenting. I hope you have a much more pleasant 2012 than ours has started out to be.

Life is short: keep the faith, and keep blogging!

My Man is My Priority

2012-01-06T04:00:00.032-05:00

The Light of My Life, my partner, my best friend, my soulmate, my everything, has been seriously ill for over a month now. On top of some sort of neurological problem which occurs at random and is severe when it happens, he has a really bad cold which has persisted for more than a week. Something is really wrong. He has never had something like a cold last more than a few days, and seldom even gets one.

My partner and I are worried, and are at a loss about what to do. He has seen so many specialists that if there were stock in "doctors" and we owned just one share, we would be rich. He has gone through so many tests that he is glowing in the dark. All the tests, so far, are "inconclusive."

I never knew how much I would grow to be angry with the phrase, "sorry, we don't know what it is." Or the words, "Be relieved, it's not...". Damn, it's not so many things, but what is it?

My partner goes through periods of being fair to being miserable. My heart is breaking because there is nothing I can do to relieve his suffering directly. Sure, I make him homemade chicken soup, and whatever other meals he prefers. At least his appetite remains good. I am picking up whatever needs to be done for tasks that he ordinarily has done -- the least I can do.

I feel helpless ... but I am not without help or hope. My brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, and several of my senior pals have rallied round. Whatever I need, they're there to help. I have to go to work, but my partner is not alone at home. Sometimes I just need to vent frustrations, and my family is there to listen. Man, my twin brother gets an earful almost every day, all the way in Italy. His listening skills are tremendously helpful.

My family and friends remind me that they have always admired my faith and optimism. Their support makes my faith deeper, my resolve stronger, my optimism brighter.

Yeah, I have deep faith, and am calling on my reserves of boundless optimism to help both of us get through this. I know that maintaining a positive attitude can make things better, or avoid making things worse. I know that when people dwell on negativity and fear, it only compounds problems and makes the ill person's condition worse.

But do you know how hard it is to smile when your heart has a frown? Do you know how hard it is to keep the faith, when it is tested so severely? Do you know how *not* to react to fear?

Of all my years of caregiving for senior relatives and friends, I have learned how important it is to ... keep the faith. Keep focused on the positive. Keep searching for results, treatments, and methods to ease suffering. Keep asking questions, keep pursuing treatments, and keep an open mind. Keep listening, maintain the dialogue -- don't shut down.

It will get better. It must. It will, because my faith directs my soul and my actions, and I believe. I truly believe... when one has faith and he steps up to take positive, proactive actions, problems will resolve and happiness will return.

A note to fans of my website and videos: please do not look for updates of the website or any new videos. Obviously, my mind is elsewhere and I do not have time to spend on my hobbies. Thanks for understanding.

Life is short: keep the faith, and show those you love that you love them, each and every moment of every day.

Removing Odors from Leather and Boots

2012-01-05T04:00:00.013-05:00

A while back, someone wrote to me to ask my advice on how to remove a strong smell of fragrance from a pair of boots she bought via eBay. Another guy wrote recently with a similar question -- how to remove smoke odor from a leather jacket previously worn by a heavy smoker.

There are a lot of home remedies and folklore out there. In my opinion and based on experience, most of the home remedies do not work. Here is what works, and why....

Odors from fragrances or smoke are actually molecules that are released into the air. A concentration of these molecules is picked up by the human nose and detected as a particular smell. There are smells of all kinds, from pleasant to unpleasant. Some people find some odors pleasing or arousing while others find the same odor obnoxious (for example, some guys like to wear aftershave or cologne while other guys can't stand the smell, myself being one of them).

Anyway, back to the topic ... how to remove strong odors, be they from an applied fragrance such as fabric spray, a spilled fragrance such as perfume (cologne is perfume), or an acquired fragrance such as tobacco smoke:

First, if the odor is very strong, it means that many of the molecules that compose the offending smell are being released from the material to which they were applied. Leather, in particular, is known to hold on to these molecules for a long time and release them slowly -- so it seems to the person owning the leather item (boots, jacket, vest, etc.) that the odor persists for days, weeks, or months.

If you are dealing with that situation -- a saturated garment or pair of boots -- then the best way to remove the odor (or at least reduce it significantly) is to get a small can of gel odor remover (picture, left) from any building supplies retailer or large variety store like KMart (or Wal-sucks).

Remove the top of the lid of the gel odor remover and place it into the bottom of a plastic trash bag. Then place the garment or boots in the bag, too. If you are placing a leather garment into it, make sure that all of the garment's openings are open -- that is, zippers unzipped, buttons unbuttoned, snaps unsnapped, lining removed if removable, and pockets turned inside out. Make sure the leather does not touch any part of the gel in the can of odor remover.

Close the bag tightly. A twist-tie will work well to seal it. Leave the bag in an area out of direct sunlight and out of the way for two or three days.

What is happening is that there is a chemical in the gel odor remover that attracts the molecules of the offending odor, and absorbs them. By placing the garment or boots in a bag with the gel odor remover, you are providing an environment where the offending smell molecules will be released from the leather and have only one place to go -- into the absorbent gel.

You may find this gel odor remover sold with various smell blends as a replacement -- orange, lemon, or linen. Most people do not consider these alternate smell blends to be as offensive. And after treatment, those odors will not be as strong. However, if you really want to get rid of all odors -- offensive, citrus, or otherwise, then perform one last step.

After the garment or boots have been in the bag with the gel odor remover for two or three days, then open the bag and remove and dispose of the gel odor remover. Put an open box of regular household baking soda in the bag, and close the bag again. Let it sit for another three days. When you remove the garment or boot, it should be fragrance- and odor-free. It also helps to hang the garment in an open area after treatment and let it air out -- preferably outdoors if possible.

I mentioned above that there are a lot of recommendations based on folklore to remove odors from garments. Baking soda works if the odors are not pervasive, very strong, or have had time to penetrate the cellulose fibers of leather. That's why it works to remove the light citrus odor from the gel odor remover, because the exposure was minimal. But baking soda will not remove strong smells of a fragrance, such as overspray of perfume, a spill of cologne, or heavy tobacco smoke. The treatment of confinement to a bag with a gel odor remover for several days works much better.

What does not work? Spray-on chemicals, such as "Febreeze," actually introduces fragrances which you smell more than the offending odor. These treatments do not remove odor, but cover it up or provide a substitute odor -- which to some people is equally as offensive. Also, rubbing a leather garment with a cloth soaked in chlorine bleach is unwise. The bleach may stain or damage the leather -- and all that does is add another offensive odor -- chlorine.

I hope this helps.

Life is short: leather should smell like leather, not something else.

Leather Jackets

2012-01-03T04:00:00.005-05:00

I was sent an email a while back stating, "I would like to find a good leather jacket. DO NOT want some every day model like you see every other middle-aged corn-fed golf dolt wearing. You know the type I mean. YAWN. I want something a bit more badass than that, but don't want something way out there. You know, too much. Too buckly, zippery. Something in the middle. Any suggestions of what to look for?"

My reply?

From your description of the type of leather jacket you want -- not too flashy, but not one of the old-fart style, yet will keep you warm -- I would recommend a police motorcycle jacket. These types of jackets are designed to keep cops warm in cold weather, yet have a lot of function with deep inside pockets, a lining, and cuffs at the wrists. These jackets offer lots of style but less "bling" than a typical "biker jacket".

There are some superb jackets out there. Vanson is a good choice for a moderate budget. So are jackets made by Taylor's Leather Wear. I would not recommend a jacket with the X-element label -- a Chinese-made knock-off. I also do not recommend a jacket with the Harley-Davidson label. While the quality is good, the cost is often outrageous, due to paying a hefty mark-up for the label. While I ride a Harley, my gear is from other sources for a reason. I don't pay for merely a label. It is not a status symbol to wear a Harley-branded jacket, anyway.

If you want the best that money can buy, consider a jacket made custom for you by Langlitz. Man, they have terrific jackets. I have long admired Langlitz jackets. However, the price has kept me from buying one. I have been more than satisfied with jackets that are made commercially by Taylor's and custom by Mr. S. and Johnson Leather of San Francisco.

As you consider any leather jacket, look for:

Top Grain leather -- not splits or unstated.
Made from leather that originates in the USA, Canada, Argentina, or Australia -- not China, Pakistan or India. If the retailer will not identify the source of the leather, then run, don't walk, to another vendor.
A good fit. If possible, try it on. Leather jackets are notorious for sizing issues. While you may have a chest size of 40, you may find that a jacket of size 44 actually fits. Also check for how it fits on your shoulders -- no puckering or funky-looking drape. If you buy over the internet, make sure the vendor has a return policy, and one that does not involve a restocking fee. A good vendor will allow for a free exchange (except, perhaps, the cost of shipping) of an off-the-rack jacket. Custom gear shouldn't have that problem because the jacket is made to your specific measurements.

Leather jackets are usually worn in cold weather, meaning that you may be wearing layers of bulky clothing with it -- t-shirt, long-sleeved regular shirt. As you try on leather jackets (or get measured for one), put on the clothing that you will likely wear with the jacket so you can accommodate for the bulk of what will be under the jacket.

Finally, we have to remember that a good quality leather jacket will last a long time if cared for well. Thus, to make sure you can wear the jacket for years (and decades) to come, consider that most men are not as slender in the hips, waist, chest, and overall girth in their 40s and 50s as they were in their 20s and 30s. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can talk all you want about working out and going to the gym to retain a slim physique, but that doesn't happen for most guys in real life. So what I am saying is that if you are considering buying a good leather jacket and you are a younger dude, consider getting one a little bit bigger. Believe me, you will grow into it, even if you have stopped growing in height. (knowing smile...)

You may also find my Guide to Leather Gear helpful in learning about the types, styles, and various qualities of leather garments.

Life is short: know your gear and wear it well!

Riding on New Years Day?

2012-01-02T04:00:00.010-05:00

Seldom does the weather cooperate on 1 January, but this year it did. The temperatures did not get as warm as predicted, but warm enough -- 50F (10C). It brought out a lot of bikers for my club's annual "polar bear ride."

My partner is still not well, and I felt torn thinking about leaving him. But thankfully, one of my senior pals came to our home to stay with him while I got on my Harley and joined my club for its annual ride.

It was supposed to be a "short" ride, but it turned out to be about twice as long as we were told it would be. I have to be honest, when the ride finally reached its destination -- a biker bar/restaurant -- I was "done." Tired. Exhausted. It is hard to ride when it is cold, even with warm leathers and tall boots to keep you warm. Sapped all of the energy right out of me! So I kept on going and came home. (I don't really like that restaurant anyway, and with as many hungry bikers as were on this ride, I anticipated that service would be awfully slow.)

I am glad that I made the decision to leave early, because I had been home not 15 minutes before we had an unexpected rain shower.

Anyway, it was a treat to be able to ride on 1 January.

What did I wear? My LAPD leather breeches with Wesco Patrol Boots, a leather shirt, and my Motocross leather jacket. (And I also had on long underwear -- layers really helped!)

Life is short: ride when you can, and remember to wear boots and leather!

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T04:00:00.016-05:00

I attended my usual New Year's party with my best friend and his large, raucous Italian family last night. (My partner does not go to this party with me due to the noise and confusion.) We cook a huge breakfast, served at 11:30pm, then ring in the new year with champagne (and ginger ale for me.) I return home by 12:30am, and usually find my partner asleep on the sofa. But he awakens, and we have our own small celebration, then hit the sack.

Later today, I hope to get a motorcycle ride in with friends. The weather is supposed to be outstanding. Imagine, January 1 with temperatures in the high 50s (14C), sunny, bright... great "leather weather."

After that, I plan to spend time with my partner. I'm sure we will have plenty to do (smile.)

Not much else to report... but I will appreciate having tomorrow as an added day off for the holiday, so I can catch up on sleep, disrupted by "evening activities."

Life is short: show those you love how you love them. Happy New Year!

Best of Motorcycle Boots By Style

2011-12-30T04:00:00.013-05:00

I ride a Harley-Davidson motorcycle and I always wear motorcycle boots while riding (never sneakers). I own a lot of different styles of motorcycle boots, and have worn all of them (one pair at a time LOL!) while riding.

Following is my opinion of the best motorcycle boots of each of these styles: engineer boots, harness boots, "shortie" or tactical boots, and patrol boots.

Each style is listed below -- note that the header is a link to the style of those boots in my motorcycle boot collection. Click on the link to see them.

Engineer Boots

Many bikers wear engineer boots. These boots present a solid, rugged, masculine appearance. You can get them in various heights, from as short as 8 inches (20cm) to very tall (as high as "crotch high" of 34 inches [86cm]), though there are two "typical" heights -- 11 inches (28cm) and 17 inches (43cm).

My favorite, all-around engineer boots are made by Chippewa in the USA. These boots are available both with and without a steel toe. I have both types. I cannot say whether I like the steel toe better than the non-steel toe versions. I wear the non-steel toe boots in the summer when I want lighter weight boots on my feet. I wear steel toe boots when I may end up on rough terrain, dirt, or mud. These boots can certainly take a beating, and remain sturdy, solid, and water-resistant yet are affordable and a great value for the price.

Some may ask, "you own Wesco Boss (engineer) boots, too, why are they not your highest recommendation?" Good question. Yes, I own (and wear) Wesco boots. While the boots are built like a tank and will last forever, they also feel like a tank and become heavy on the feet, especially after a long day of riding. Great boots, and I highly recommend them, particularly for use in cold weather, because the boots are made with the thickest premium cowhide of any boots around. I just prefer the Chippewa boots for the affordability and rugged durability they present to the average biker.

Harness Boots

Harness boots are also a classic style worn by many bikers. They present a rugged appearance. Harness straps on boots date back over 100 years, but are only on there for an added decoration; they serve no useful purpose.

Most harness boots are 12 inches (30cm) tall. You can get them shorter or even as tall as "crotch-high," but most bikers find the 12-inch tall harness boots the most commonly available and typically worn by their peers.

I made a video and comparison of various harness boots a while back (See this blog post). In that review, my overall recommendation for harness boots that meet high quality standards and are affordable, so you get a great value for the price paid, are Chippewa harness boots. A close tie to highest recommended for value and quality construction are harness boots made by Boulet of Canada.

I really cannot recommend harness boots made under the Harley-Davidson label -- actually, these boots are made by a third party manufacturer in China that pays H-D for a license to use their name. Cheap labor and materials makes cheap boots. Also, I have not found harness boots made by Dingo, Durango, or Double H to be a good value for the price paid. Again, cheap materials and construction makes lower quality, less-bang-for-the-buck boots.

Again, you may ask my opinion about Wesco harness boots. Yes, I have several pair. Like their Boss Boot brothers, these boots are built like a tank -- but they feel like a tank and make my feet tired if I wear them all day. Great for shorter rides and for use when riding in cold weather, but not an all-day warm-weather ride.

Tactical Boots

Some bikers do not want to wear boots at all, but realize when they grow up that they can't wear sneakers while operating a motorcycle -- not if they value the bones in their feet and ankles as well as the skin on their legs.

These bikers look for shorter motorcycle boots. That is, boots that will at least cover the ankle and provide protection, as well as have a sole that will provide better traction than cheap rubber found on the bottom of sneakers.

There are many different manufacturers of tactical boots -- many more than I have experience with. For those with which I have experience, I have long regarded my Chippewa Firefighter boots to be the best for this purpose. These boots are built exceptionally well, are leather lined, but do not get hot. They are easy to put on and take off (once you get the zipper installed correctly.) The lug sole provides great traction, while the boot performs well in all kinds of weather. After years of riding, I find myself often choosing these boots over all others when I mount my iron horse to ride.

A close second are station boots made by All American Boot manufacturing. They are great, too, but I do not have as much experience with them as I do with the Chips. Overall, Chippewa Firefighter boots present a terrific value for the price paid. You can get both Chippewa Firefighter boots as well as All American boots from Stompers Boots.

Police Patrol Boots

There is a reason why cops wear tall black boots. Not only for the commanding appearance that the boots present, but also for the protection, durability, and ease-of-maintenance.

Many cops wear Dehner boots, which have a unique appearance of their own. Classic beauties -- but fragile and expensive! I use the word "fragile" when I refer to stock Dehner boots made with a combination of leather for the foot and "Dehcord" (which is plastic) for the shaft. The Dehcord material can crack, chip, and be easily damaged by exposure to a hot motorcycle pipe (i.e., the shaft can discolor and melt.)

I recommend two alternatives to Dehner boots: Chippewa "Hi-Shine" engineer boots, which many cops on the U.S. East Coast wear regularly, and All American "Blue Knight" Patrol boots, which are more widely available nowadays (e.g., you can get them through Stompers Boots.)

The All American patrol boots are winners in my book. Sturdy, durable, and well-constructed with a big lug sole and thick leather shaft and foot. The boots are coated with a light plastic top coat which makes them easy to maintain.

I have worn All American patrol boots for a few years now, and like them a lot. They wear well and have proven their durability. You get a much better value for the price paid compared with Dehner boots (especially all-leather Dehners which cost about double what all-leather All American boots cost.)

You will get the best bang-for-the-buck with a purchase of Chippewa Hi-Shine Boots (model 71418), but if you want the style of patrol boot worn most often by the California Highway Patrol (CHP) and many U.S. state and local police motorcycle officers, then you should consider stepping up and into a pair of All American Blue Knight patrol boots with the bal-laced instep.

And yes, anyone can wear motorcycle police patrol boots. You don't have to be a sworn peace officer to buy or to wear these boots. However, don't put them on with a uniform and go out in public. Cops take a very dim view of non-L.E. guys doing that. If you want to wear them with a fetish uniform, that's fine -- just keep the cop-look-alike image behind closed doors.

Summary

So, there you have it -- my opinions and my personal recommendations on what I consider to be the best boots for each of the four major styles of motorcycle boots made in terms of construction, appearance, and value for price paid.

Life is short: wear boots when riding a motorcycle!

New Year Planning

2011-12-29T10:16:00.001-05:00

As 2011 is quickly drawing to a close, I am making plans for 2012. I am not one to make "new year's resolutions" as so often these are made then go unfulfilled.

My personal plans for 2012 include, in no specific order...

Ensuring that my partner receives the best medical care available, and that his current condition is resolved. Meanwhile, I am readjusting major things in my life to accommodate a larger role in caregiving.

Getting off my duff to put some boots on eBay that I'll never wear -- my Sendra boots come to mind. There may be others. I have an inventory (ha ha... on-line) and I actually do wear most of the boots in my collection. I need to determine which boots I am not wearing and why I am still holding them. No worries, don't ask -- I am not disposing of any of my vintage Frye boots.

Getting on my treadmill and working out regularly. I've been pretty good at it since I got it in early December. I just need to keep working at it. I know that I will not use a gym; I strongly dislike that kind of atmosphere and the cheap side of me detests paying for something that I will not get sufficient return of investment. Walking is what works best for me, so I'll be walking -- a lot! -- in 2012.

Finally installing that marble tile surround in our master bath shower. That shower has been out of service for eight months since it sprang a leak. I installed a new shower pan (floor), so now I just have to find the time to fix the side walls, grout them, and finish the project. I have the skills, tools, and materials. I just have to make it the priority that it needs to be. (It has not been a priority because I prefer to use our two-man, two-headed shower in the basement... but our main shower really should be repaired. Really....)

Hoping to find the time to explore some back roads of my home state by Harley with some friends. It always seems that my partner has other plans for ongoing home maintenance that take priority.

Keeping our finances on track, and spending only what I have, left over after putting a full 35% of my gross income into investments for retirement and savings. The rule that I learned from my parents: pay yourself first. It leaves less resources for the fun stuff, but I am not under the false belief that somehow the money will show up when I need it later, or that a major expense (such as expensive repairs to my Harley, truck, or home) will not happen.

Doing some rather major renovations on two small houses that I own and rent to community heroes. The current occupants have given notice that they will be leaving in the coming year, so after they leave, I need to redo the kitchens, refinish floors, and paint the whole house. Twice. I hate painting.... but I dislike paying people to do something that my partner and I can do ourselves. (Again, just call me "cheap," but I prefer the word, "frugal" LOL!)

As far as my website goes, I will be exploring ways to optimize it for use with smartphones. I see that more than a quarter (25%) of the visitors to my website and this blog visit using mobile devices. I sense that my site is not as user-friendly as it could be for mobile device visitors. I have to wake up and smell the coffee and do something about it. It's a learning curve for me, since I do not have, nor plan to have, a smartphone. (Did I say, "call me cheap?" Honestly, the convenience of those things does not outweigh the expense. I don't need nor want one.)

I am certain that the new year will bring change and more things to do than I can think about right now. Priorities will change, projects will be added, some will be deleted or modified. That's how life is ... go with the flow.

Life is short: think ahead!

Maintaining Shiny Boot Shine

2011-12-28T16:00:00.000-05:00

One would think that with the extensive boot collection that I have, I may spend a lot of time shining them. Actually, I don't. Most of my boots are worn "as is" and perhaps the boots show a little dirt. To me, that is "character."

However, some boots are made to shine and be kept shiny -- Chippewa "High-Shines" and All American Patrol Boots are some examples. How do I maintain the shine on these boots -- especially if I don't have much time (or like to spend time) shining them?

Chip Hi-Shines, Chippewa Trooper Boots, and All American Patrol Boots are among the boots in a class that have a thin plastic top coat applied during manufacture that covers the leather on the boot foot and shaft. The plastic top coat is not to be confused with "patent leather" which is made from a different process.

Rather, this top coat is durable and flexible enough such that it does not crack when natural creases are made in the boots during break-in and service. It is this top coat that makes the boots look so shiny.

To maintain the shine of boots with that plastic top coat -- you need to remember that you are treating the coating, not the leather under it. Applying wax polish to these boots does not actually adhere to the leather -- it forms a waxy layer on the plastic top coat that comes off with buffing with a brush or towel.

Cops who wear these boots have told me that the best way to care for the boots and to maintain a shine on them is to use household furniture polish, like Pledge. After a day's wear, they spray the boots lightly with the spray furniture polish, and use a lintless cloth to buff the boot surfaces. This removes the day's grime and returns the boots to their original lustre. That's what I do, too.

Once in a while, when the boots have been exposed to road spray -- or worse, winter road salts -- I will use a damp cloth first to remove the grime, then apply a very light, thin coating of paste wax. Again, this wax does not adhere to the leather. It forms a thin film which produces a shine when buffed with a good brush. The wax also fills in small surface cracks as well as light abrasion that may be caused by damage from pebbles, cinders, and road salts.

I only apply this thin wax polish about 3 - 4 times a year, and only when the boots have been crudded up with grime. Otherwise, applying wax polish more frequently only causes a wax build-up which attracts more dirt and makes the boots look dull. Furniture polish sprayed lightly will remove that wax build-up. Also, if you use wax, make sure to pay attention to places where it can gunk up, such as in the instep of bal-laced boots, along the sole of the boot where the foot is attached, or along the laces or buckle on the top of the shaft. You may need to use an old toothbrush to remove waxy build-up, mud, or dirt.

It doesn't take much to keep these boots in good condition, and show a shine that demonstrates the wearer is proud of his boots and his appearance in them.

Life is short: wear your boots well ... others notice well-shined boots.

Wesco Boots -- Discount!

2011-12-27T04:00:00.010-05:00

I observe a number of visitors to this blog and my website who are looking at boots made by the West Coast Shoe Company (Wesco) of Scappoose, Oregon. Yep, a lot of guys are considering stepping up and stepping into a hot pair of Wesco boots of their very own.

And now, for a limited time, you can get a discount on a new pair of Wescos. Here's how.

To score yourself a pair of Wesco Boots -- custom or stock, visit Stompers Boots on the web or call them at 1-888-BOOTMAN. Place your order, and where a "discount coupon" is requested on the Stompers website (during checkout), enter "BHD" and click "apply." You will see US$20 deducted from the price. If you place an order over the phone or in person, just tell them that you want the "BHD" discount, and you will get it.

Stompers has the best prices on these boots, and with the BHD Discount e-Coupon, you get $20 off your order. This discount code applies to any purchase from Stompers boots of US$200 or more -- custom orders included.

I have worn Wesco boots for many years. They are tough as iron, wear like a tank, and are the most rugged, solid, boots for motorcycling ever made.

Constructed with painstaking passion for excellence, these boots are made of thick unblemished leather, exceptionally durable Vibram soles, and many other fine features. When you order these boots custom, not only can you get the boots made to your specific size requirements (both for foot and calf), but you can also specify various options, including but not limited to:

Smooth or roughout leather
Different colors of leather for the foot, shaft, and straps
You can choose the number of straps on the boot shafts -- from zero to four
Customize the height to fit your style and accommodate your leg length perfectly
Leather lining (also of various colors)
Different soles, from the Vibram 100 "big lug" (or my preferred Vibram 100R which doesn't mar floors) to Vibram 430 "minilug," among others
Accessories like a knife pocket

While Wesco boots are not cheap, they will last a lifetime. I have many pairs of these boots in various heights and styles. I like to wear them when I ride my Harley, or whenever I want a tough pair of boots on my feet.

It takes 10 - 12 weeks to get a pair of Wesco boots made custom to your size, but it is well worth the wait. You'll wear your Wescos forever.

So contact Stompers Boots on the web, or better yet -- to talk custom Wescos -- call Ken on 1-888-BOOTMAN (266-8626) or international, +1-415-255-6422. Ken can get you a Wesco sizing chart and go over all of your options with you, so you will get a pair of Wesco boots that meet your exact specifications and will be totally your own.

Life is short: get your Wesco boots and enjoy the "BHD" discount!

Is Christmas Hard for Gay People?

2011-12-26T04:00:00.002-05:00

I found this search that landed a visitor to this blog on Christmas day: "Christmas hard for gay people."

This search provoked a random stream of thoughts, which I will share.

Christmas inspires thoughts of gathering with family, friends, and neighbors... most if not all of whom are straight. There are some gay gatherings held on Christmas by and for gay people, but that's not what this blog is about.

In my observation, Christmas can present a range of challenges for a gay person.

First, Christmas observes the birth of Jesus, and in Christian religions, is (besides Easter), the most holy of holidays. There are many challenges, though, with various Christian denominations. Some (not all) abjectly reject gay people. For many gay people, the religious aspects of Christmas can make the holiday difficult to deal with.

For example, if one grew up in family that followed Catholic or Evangelical faith teachings, then have to hear and deal with rejection, intolerance, and expressions of hatred often -- just because one chooses to love someone of the same sex. For me as a gay man in a same-sex relationship that to me is as equal to an opposite-sex marriage, this is one reason why Christmas is hard for me. Hatred and intolerance are not values that I grew up with. (Note: not all Christian religious are the same with regard to gay people. Unitarian/Universalist and Episcopalians are about as open and accepting as can be, while Evangelicals convey hatred and hypocrisy at almost every turn.)

For some gay men, dealing with family can be difficult at Christmas. I am not among those who have family strains, thankfully. However, I realize that many gay men have become estranged from their family and have to deal with forms of rejection -- just because he/she is gay. Some families do not invite gay siblings or children to family dinners or gatherings. Some gay people choose not to attend family gatherings, either, because they always feel uncomfortable.

While my brothers and sisters and their children and I get along well, there have been instances where I have had some issues with a few of my siblings' spouses. But we have come to an understanding: my brother is my brother, my sister is my sister, and their spouse is not. I can love and be close to my siblings, while I don't have to be close to their spouse who doesn't like the fact that I am gay. (BTW, this applies to just a few. I am very close to many of my in-laws; just not all of them.)

Another challenge that Christmas brings has nothing to do with the holiday itself, but with shared interests. Often, football games are being shown on television. For some gay men, including me -- clueless about football -- trying to join "the guys" in the rec room who are watching football is hard to do, because I do not know what they are talking about and don't care. Hanging out in the kitchen trying to help cook is sometimes viewed as a gender role reversal, and that doesn't always work. For me, I usually go play with the kids until my old body can't take it any more and I need a break. (The energy, flexibility, and stamina of youth is wasted on the young. LOL!)

Finally, in my opinion, Christmas can be very hard for a gay man (or woman) who has not yet come out to his family. He shows up, single, at a family gathering, and inevitably, Uncle George asks who you are dating, or Sister Mary, with best intentions, tells you about a girl she wants you to meet. These well-intended comments or suggestions make for many awkward moments.

Christmas (or other big holiday events where families gather) is not a time to come out to the family, though. Think about it -- everyone is all together (good), but distracted by lots of things going on. If you blurt out, "uh, I'm gay," it may take some people by surprise, and change the whole dynamic of the event. While there are some movies that have shown what can happen in a dramatic and sometimes hilarious way -- what I have observed is that when someone comes out to a large group all at once, the rest of the group is taken by surprise and doesn't have time to process it, so they react. Their reactions often tend to be withdrawal and silence. That silence can be perceived as rejection -- when likely it is an indication that the person needs some time to figure out how they will deal with this news.

What I recommend if you're not out yet is to wait and tell family at another time, preferably one-on-one, and in person. Give the family member time to come to his or her own terms with the news. Accept that some will treat you as they always have, and some may back away for a while. That happened to me in my family of 14 siblings. However, with time, consistency of behavior on my part (that is, I remained the same guy that I always was), and not taking withdrawal personally as rejection, we re-developed our relationship. I am happy to say that I am close, really close, to all of my siblings now.

I think Christmas is easier for gay people who have come out -- whose sexual orientation is known. They can choose to interact with the straight loved-ones in their lives in a way where they do not feel as if they are living a lie. Or, they can simply choose not to interact, and watch a movie or surf the web. I have to be honest, the stats for my website and this blog skyrocket on Christmas day -- and I have a feeling that many gay guys who are choosing to be alone are among the reasons for the spike in visitors.

However, it all comes down to how one chooses to be. One can wallow in self-pity, or feel alone, lonely, and sad. Or, one can choose to think about how to make positive changes for the future. Christmas day is not really a good day to "come out," due to the distractions of what else is going on that day. But perhaps making a plan, deciding when, to whom, and how to come out, will be time well-spent in making positive plans for one's self-improvement in the near future.

Think about it: you have one life, and the people in your life are going to be there for a long time. You can choose to make a positive difference in how you feel about it if you give yourself a chance.

So put your boots on, stand up, smile, and say, "I can do this." It really does get better when you decide you want it to be so.

Christmas presents a unique blend of circumstances that can make for a range of challenges for the gay person -- from awkward moments to the silent treatment from loved-ones. But remember, it is one day of 365, and life marches on. Make your own plan on how to move forward positively. If you don't, then the struggles, hard feelings, and emotions of the holiday being "hard" will persist.

Life is short: be happy with who you are and how you will choose to live your life -- positively and productively.

Breaking In New Boots?

2011-12-25T12:00:00.001-05:00

Was Santa good to you and brought you a new pair of boots? Perhaps you're not accustomed to wearing boots that often, and want to know how to break them in? Take some simple tips from a guy who has been wearing boots for well over 40 years as his exclusive form of footwear....

First, after you take the boots out of the box, make sure that there is no paper or cardboard stuffed deep in the foot of the boots. Better bootmakers do that sometimes.

Next, before you try to pull the boots on, check your feet -- make sure you are wearing a decent pair of socks. The best socks to wear with boots are made of a combination of three components: cotton (for comfort); rayon/dacron/nylon synthetic (for longer wear and durability, as well as maintaining shape); and wool. Yes, wool. Why wool? Best for absorbing sweat and wicking it away from your feet, so your feel feel comfortable in boots all day long.

Contrary to popular myth, you do NOT need "boot socks" that come up high on your calf. If boots are made well, they will not rub on the inside of your legs, so regular socks (made of the three materials listed above) will work fine. Most of my socks are "gold toe" socks that I buy at KMart. I don't spend tons of money on socks when what I can get at my local KMart will last me just as long.

Now -- to your boots. Feel how stiff the shaft is. If the shaft is rather stiff -- that is, if it doesn't bend easily because the leather from which it is composed is thick, then I suggest breaking in the crease at the ankle manually. This is a rather simple but very important thing to do: hold the boot in one hand and crease the back of the boot shaft straight by bending it backwards, then forward, then backward again. (Please see this post and video for visual demonstration -- it works the same for cowboy boots as it works for Dehner Patrol boots).

If the leather on the boot shafts is soft and bends easily, you can skip the manual ankle creasing method described above. But that manual creasing method is very important for stiff-shafted boots, because you want the crease to come straight across at the back of the ankle, and not at an angle. If the crease forms at an angle, it will probably rub against the back of your ankle inside the boot and cause sores. Once the crease forms it cannot be "retrained," so get the crease right from the beginning.

Then hold the boot by the boot straps (or if necessary, use boot pulls attached to the boot straps) and pull one boot on one foot, then the other, by pointing your toes into the boots and just pulling. The boot should come on rather easily, but it may take a bit of a tug. That's okay. New boots are stiff and aren't easy to pull on or take off before they are completely broken in.

Stand up. However, before you walk in them, try wiggling your toes. Can you feel your toes inside the boots? Do your toes feel squeezed, or do the feet feel like they are swimming? Try flexing your foot up and down within the confines of the boot foot. Again, does it feel squeezed or like there is too much room?

If the foot feels like it is squeezed, then the boots may be too small. Even if they are marked your regular shoe size, there is no consistency from manufacturer to manufacturer on actual size. If the boots are small on you, you won't wear them. See if you can exchange them for a half-size larger.

If the foot feels like it is swimming -- that actually is a good thing. Get a pair of gel insoles (such as made by Dr. Scholl's) that you can find at any drug store or well-stocked grocery store. Follow the directions to trim the gel insoles for the insides of your boots, then carefully fit them in. I think you will find -- as I do -- that gel insoles provide much more comfort and allow the boots to be worn all day long with comfort.

Then stand tall, walk proudly as the Boot-wearer you should be. Be careful where you step -- for example, if you got new cowboy boots, they probably have all-leather soles, and therefore do not provide traction if you walk on wet, snowy, or icy surfaces. If you got motorcycle boots with a lug sole, you won't have trouble with traction, but you probably will have trouble with mud and dirt getting stuck in between the lugs. If you don't take your boots off before coming indoors, then once the mud dries up, it will fall out -- and you'll be in a situation that I have been in too often -- the other half has words with you about being such a slob. (ooops!)

At the end of the day, use a boot jack or ask a spouse/partner/friend to pull the boots off. It's hard for one person to pull of a pair of boots by himself if the boots are still stiff and not broken in.

Leave the boots in open air but out of direct sunlight for at least a day, so the boots can air out. Sweat from the feet and legs absorbs into the interior of the boot and takes a while to evaporate. If you don't let boots "breathe" between wearings, then it may turn into a growth medium for fungus, which can be bad for your feet. So guys -- if you like to wear boots as I do -- use this excuse to justify having at least two pairs, if not more, of boots in your wardrobe.

Soon enough, you will find out that boots are far better for your feet, and you look better in them, too. You will find a place to donate your dress shoes and begin wearing boots to work each day of the year (as I do.)

For more tips and information on wearing boots (including wearing boots with khakis or business suits), visit my "Cowboy Boot How To" on my website.

Life is short: wear boots!

Family Christmas

2011-12-24T04:00:00.008-05:00

Okay, I know I said the other day that I wouldn't be back until after Christmas, but I had to post this photo that was taken yesterday. Great Uncle BHD with his twin great nephews....

I rode my Harley on Friday to visit them. 100 mile round-trip in 48F (9C) temperatures. The sun was supposed to come out, but it didn't. Kinda chilly, but manageable in full leathers and tall boots which kept me warm.

The ride home wasn't nearly as cold as the ride on the way there due to the warmth in my heart from time spent with my family. I am so lucky to have the family that I have. Warm, generous, loving, thoughtful, and caring people who warm my heart every minute of every day.

Fortunately, my partner is stable, but still not well... but he was able to rest at home and I felt secure enough that I could leave for a half-day to visit family and that he would be okay (and that his mother would keep an eye on him.)

Merry Christmas to all... see you after the holiday!

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

Tidbits, Updates, and Pause

2011-12-22T04:00:00.004-05:00

Best wishes to visitors of my blog, returning or new. Things have been kinda topsy-turvy at the ol' BHD household, so this post will hold until after Christmas.

Whassup?

Man, I *dislike* that expression. It's so sloppy... I am such an English snob. But I digress.

My partner and I are hosting his mother in our home. She has been with us since 18 December. Let's just say... this year ... we will be delighted to take her back home right after Christmas.

While this blog has been on a temporary off-topic off-schedule, I have received a few questions or suggestions that will become great blog articles, which I intend to write and to post in the near future.

Some questions have included:

If you don't like the white stitching on boots like Chippewa harness boots, what alternatives are there? (Hint: just dye the white stitching black -- don't get a different, lower-quality brand like Chinese-made Frye boots just because their stitching is black).

What kind of leather jacket do you recommend that is masculine in appearance yet doesn't have too much bling--chrome zippers, snaps, etc.? (Hint: a motorcycle cop jacket).

What do you do when boots are finally broken in and you discover that the support for your arches is no longer there? (Hint: Dr. Scholl's gel insoles.)

I received a pair of boots won on an eBay auction, but the seller sprayed them with something that has left behind a strong smell of fragrance. Should I try to get the seller to accept a return of the boots and refund my money, or what? (Hint: gel odor remover from your local building supplies retailer will do the trick).

These are some examples of legitimate questions that I have received and would serve as good posts for this blog. I just need to find some time to write them.

My last day of work-work for this year is today, Thursday, December 22. I hope to spend time with my family on Friday, visiting the youngest members, twin Great Nephews. Friday afternoon will find me in my chef's kitchen, preparing The Feast of the Seven Fishes for my mother-in-law, who requested the meal. It's a rather large production. Thankfully, one of my senior pals who is a retired pescadore (fish monger) brought me 13 varieties of "fishes" to prepare for M-I-L to enjoy with her usual (noisy) gusto. I just hope she eats eel -- yuck!

Friday evening, spirits and my partner's condition willing, we will enjoy a Christmas concert by a national celebrity at our county's community college that my partner has wanted to hear for months. I just hope his mother enjoys the concert; regardless, the concert is for my partner's enjoyment. Perhaps the heavy meal of many fishes will put M-I-L to sleep (LOL!).

Christmas Eve, my family is switching its Friday Night Family Dinner to Saturday, when we will enjoy festa dei sette pesci (again!) with about 70 siblings, nieces, nephews, the "greats," in-laws, and probably some out-laws, too. My partner and his mother will remain at home because my family overwhelms them with the noise, loud conversations, camaraderie, and fun. But Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without the fam... and they know it. We all feel it. So I'll feed M-I-L and my partner early, then take off.

Christmas Day will be quiet. Tell you the truth, it will be rather dull with no surprises. My partner and I gave each other a gift this year by buying a treadmill, which I have been using now for about a month. I'm getting better at it, and anticipate it will help with weight maintenance (or better yet, help me shed a few more pounds.)

I will visit a few senior pals on Christmas Day, and weather permitting, I hope to ride my Harley to visit a few kiddos in my family. However, I'll be home in the early afternoon to begin preparing our Christmas dinner for three. M-I-L will enjoy it -- she always does -- with mannerless, loud gusto -- and we'll once again retire into the basement and watch -- more sappy Christmas movies! Aaaak!

Well, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, or whatever you celebrate -- have a good time, be safe, be well, be-lieve in the spirit that brings us together at this time of year.

See you around the bend...

Life is short: believe in what you do, in who you are, and in what the future will bring brightly to those who believe.

Positive Focus

2011-12-21T13:26:00.000-05:00

So yeah, my last post on this blog was a bit of a downer and uncharacteristic of my usual nature in writing more positively and/or instructively. Sorry about that; nobody likes a gripey sourpuss, myself included. However, it is my blog, and it serves as a bit of a catharsis to write about how I am feeling.

I received some direct email messages as a result of that blog post, and I appreciate what my friends had to say in expressions of concern.

Where do we go from here?

The hardest part is that my partner's illness is one of those mysteries that requires ruling out what it isn't, and then medical professionals advising what "it could be" by what's left over (or not ruled out by tests and observations of conditions and symptoms).

It isn't cancer, thank goodness. It isn't his brain tumor returning. It isn't a problem with his heart, lungs, circulatory system, brain function, nor ability to derive nutrition from what he eats. None of that.

It's not diabetes, it's not Parkinson's Disease, it's not... it's not... it's not. All these "it isn'ts" is making both my partner and me nuts. It's all I can do to prevent my partner from doing more self-diagnosis-via-internet. We all know that trying to figure out what illness you may have by reading descriptions on the internet is very dangerous. While my partner is not a hypochondriac, he is identifying symptoms of his attacks which seem to match symptoms described of a number of neurological disorders.

Then we have the compounded situation with my mother-in-law asking a number of questions that we cannot answer. To her, a non-answer is a confirmation that my partner's condition is worse. I can't wait until I take her back home after Christmas.

Meanwhile, I am maintaining a positive focus. Derived from faith, built on confidence, and momentum maintained through a real belief that this situation will resolve, will get better, and that we will get my partner to a state of being able to manage what's going on himself.

We are not ones to believe in superstition or place our trust in just one doctor's "I think it could be" advice. We are fully engaged in a positive way in learning, listening, asking questions, and being proactive in what we do about this situation.

Yeah, this year, Christmas will be different. But I remain the luckiest man alive, in that I have my partner by my side -- to love, to care for, to honor, and to cherish all the days of our lives.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

A Different Christmas

2011-12-21T04:00:00.015-05:00

This year, everything is different. Priorities have changed, the feeling of being on pins and needles, tiptoeing on egg shells... all that. And more. Yep, this year, it is a different Christmas.

What is different?

My partner is seriously ill with a recently-developed disabling illness that cannot be treated to make it go away or chase it into remission. His mother is staying with us, but that is for her benefit, not ours -- so she will not be alone at Christmas. Actually, she is making things more difficult. Each time my partner has an outwardly visible spell of his disease, his mother breaks into tears -- blaming herself and genetics for making her son so miserable.

So there I am, trying to help my partner by calming and reassuring him while I have to balance his mother's behavior and calming her, too. She cannot understand that while her daughter's arthritis may have a genetic link, her son's chronic, debilitating, ailment has nothing to do with genetics. To her, everything is black-and-white -- she did it, it's her fault, and the world will end.

Yeah, this Christmas is different. No holiday cheer. No visits by family to our home. Nope, no way. My partner doesn't want to see anyone for any reason. I don't blame him; I understand.

But while this situation has shaken me to my core, I think, really, how fortunate we are ... My partner has good health insurance, which pays some rather hefty bills for expensive tests and medical specialists. While dealing with the insurance provider is aggravating, I learned from helping my aunt and uncle in their last years of life with whom to ask to speak at the insurance company, what to ask for, and how to advocate for the proper care. That is a load I willingly take off my partner's mind, as he should not have to deal with the shenanigans of his health insurance provider's procedure-following drones.

I think how fortunate we are ... that we have a comfortable home that we built (literally). My partner can be comfortable in different rooms -- a quiet one in which to rest, a comfortable one to watch his serene backyard forest, a spacious eat-in kitchen in which he can have meals, and a comfortable basement media room where he can watch all his Tivo-recorded programs.

I think how fortunate we are ... that my partner has someone willing, able, and wanting to help, and I am that someone. I don't know how single people manage when they have a health crisis. (That's why I volunteer to help widowed seniors so much... everybody needs somebody.)

I think how fortunate we are ... my partner has longevity from his employer with ample sick leave. If he needed it, he can take off nine months. He also has short- and long-term disability insurance, too. That will defray the usage of his sick leave so that he could remain employed, receiving his full salary, yet not have to go to work for up to two full years. Then he can retire, if need be, and get a good pension. Ah, the benefits of staying with the same employer for 36 years.

I think how fortunate we are ... we owe no debt. Being financially stable and sensible, we never spent money that we didn't have. We did not take on debt that we couldn't pay. We don't have a car note, second mortgage, home equity line, or credit card debts carried month-to-month at exorbitant interest rates. What we own cannot be taken away from us through foreclosure or debt liens. There is tremendous relief in knowing that a major worry -- financial problems -- will not compound our current situation.

I think how fortunate we are ... that I have a loving, caring, and thoughtful family who are right by my side, offering to do whatever I ask ... or even if I don't ask. They're there. They love both of us, even as ornery as my partner gets when he isn't feeling well. Having that family bedrock does wonders for my soul and sustains me during this trying time.

In this season of Christmas, I think seriously about my faith. My spirit is one of deep faith that keeps me going when the going is rough; keeps me focused on the positive, rather than dwell on the negative; keeps my spirits pleasant, regardless of outward forces to the contrary. This is one thing that is not different this Christmas: I still believe. I have faith. We will make this situation better.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them... and try to enjoy the holidays, whatever you celebrate.

Santa's Boots

2011-12-19T04:00:00.003-05:00

Santa is getting ready to make his rounds. Have you been naughty or nice?

Funny, since my posting the other day reminding folks of the great deal on $20 off any order of $200 or more from Stompers Boots, I have received six -- count 'em, six! -- requests for information on what kinds of boots would Santa wear, based on viewing the Tom of Finland sketch, shown here.

Hmmm... hard to see the boots for the image illustrated elsewhere... but I digress.

I will answer seriously.... First off, you have to remember that these images, while very life-like-looking, are a talented artist's illustrations. Not real. In image #1, above, the boots have a dress instep (no laces, buckle, or strap at the instep), and look like police patrol boots.

Two current-day manufacturers of boots like that are Dehner Boots of Omaha, Nebraska, USA, and Wesco (West Coast Shoe Company) of Scappoose, Oregon, USA -- near Portland. I have both of these kinds of boots, and like their style. (Here are my most recent dress instep Dehners and here are my traditional Wesco Motor Patrol Boots.) You can arrange to get either manufacturer's boots through my friends at Stompers Boots. Tell 'em BHD sent you, and get US$20 off a pair.

The second image that Tom of Finland drew showing Santa in boots is harder to determine what kind of boots are shown, because the illustration is more of the ToF hunk than his boots. You can see that the boot has two straps on the shaft. Traditional engineer boots, at least available today, have only one strap. I have seen some guys doing the ToF look-alike contest who have worn Chippewa Hi-Shine engineer boots. Those boots cost about half of a new pair of Dehners, or one-third of a new pair of Wesco Motor Patrol Boots. They are also available from Stompers Boots.

If you do want to play Santa for those who have been nice, naughty, or in between, choose the right boots!

I'll be back in a couple days -- taking a short break to continue to give my mother-in-law her every-two-hour feedings.

Life is short: wear boots with a smile!

Boots Make the Man

2011-12-17T04:00:00.028-05:00

This is an expression in the boot community, "Boots Make the Man." There are various explanations of where it came from and who said it first. Regardless, I agree with it. When a man stands tall and proudly in a pair of tough, masculine boots, his confidence is evident.

Remember that you can get a meaningful discount on good-quality stock or custom motorcycle boots made by companies that are among best commercial bootmakers around...

Wesco, Dehner, All American, Chippewa, and others from the Best Bootshop in the World: Stompers Boots of San Francisco, CA, USA. Just use the coupon code "BHD" when you place an on-line or telephone order, or if you are lucky enough, when you visit in person. You will get US$20 off any purchase of $200 or more. So get those boots, or a combination of Stompers Gear (boots, gloves, t-shirts, hat, etc.) If your order totals US$200 or more, and you tell them to use the "BHD" discount code, you'll get $20 off that order.

Meanwhile, this blog is going on pause for a while. I have some things going on at home that I need to take care of, and will not have time to write much for the blog or update my website or anything else whilst I focus on my partner's health, fetching his mother from Pittsburgh, and other stuff that I have to do.

Stand tall, wear your boots (and leather), smile, and be the confident Bootman I know you can be.

Life is short: be the man made by his boots.

Do All Bikers Have Tattoos?

2011-12-16T04:00:00.001-05:00

Interesting question that landed a visitor to this blog... for reasons unknown to me (that is, why direct a visitor to this blog)... anyway, someone googled the question, "do all bikers have tattoos?"

Answer...

Nope. (This image is not me; it was found somewhere on the 'net.)

The images you see of bad-ass bikers with a ton of tats is inconsistent with reality. I ride with a lot of bikers, and only a few of them have tattoos. But perhaps it is the company I keep -- everyday common ordinary Harley riders who have families, day jobs, and are responsible, thoughtful individuals.

Not that bikers with tattoos are all irresponsible, either. Perhaps the media and one particular U.S. cable television show has affected my perceptions, as well. As this website points out, "those who have the tattoos, however, might be family-oriented individuals with conventional, normal jobs, and only enjoy biking and biker culture as a hobby or recreational activity. Bikers are no longer necessarily excluded from mainstream society and biker tattoos do not symbolize gang involvement or deviant behavior."

Would I consider getting a tattoo?

No way. Why? Needles. Tattoos are made by inserting ink-filled needles into the skin. I don't do needles. Not by choice, anyway (annual flu shot excepted.)

Further, tattoos are permanent. Have you seen an 80-year-old with a tattoo? I have. Not a pretty sight.

Nope, not all bikers have tattoos. Some of them do, expressing their love of freedom, affiliation with their brand of motorcycle, or love of America. I will not be among them. Needles... uggghhh... no way. If I want to display my affiliations and joy, I can do it another way.

Life is short: live free, live to ride, ride to live, and live your limits.

Cyber-Bashing

2011-12-15T04:00:00.006-05:00

It is rather sad, but not uncommon these days, that various forums on the 'net allow anyone to register and use a pseudonym to say things that they would never say in public or if they had to reveal their true identity.

Sometimes these thoughtless dolts link to my website, and say...

... the most insulting, silly, stupid things. You think I don't see that? Well, I have to keep on top of behavior like that, so I can operate my website and this blog responsibly, as well as know when someone may be engaging in bandwidth theft (that is, linking directly to an image from my website, making it appear as if the image is on another website when it actually is coming from mine. I block that kind of stuff.)

There are some rather nifty software tools available these days that give me reports on such activities, so I can act as necessary. The actions may be to change certain things on my website to obfuscate, confuse, and redirect this behavior.

I wish I did not have to do those types of things. I do not have to do it often, thankfully. However, during last week and early this week, there were a bunch of really negative noodles who felt that behaving as a child was the thing to do. So sad, really; I pity them.

These behaviors -- posting negative comments and linking to my website or this blog -- are a form of "cyber-bashing." Again, it is a way for cowards to get by with saying things that they wouldn't say if we knew who they were. But being cowards, they resort to this behavior as a way to vent their frustrations and express their twisted beliefs. All I can say is that I pray for their souls (if they have one.) Otherwise, I make changes as necessary on my website and move on.

Life is short: remember what your Momma told you, "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Comfort of Snakeskin Boots

2011-12-14T04:00:00.011-05:00

Someone entered a question into a search engine which landed on my website. The question was, "how comfortable are snakeskin boots?"

And the answer is...

... it varies. The comfort of a boot to a guy's feet is determined by what is on the inside of the boot, not the outer skin. Perhaps the person who asked this question didn't realize that. Or, perhaps he did and thought that different manufacturers of snakeskin boots may be more comfortable than others.

I will address the question both ways.

Well-constructed cowboy boots will have an insole made of materials that provide comfort to the foot -- usually a cushion comfort pad made of composite materials. The boots will also have a steel shank that is embedded in the sole of the boot. That shank adds support (particularly good for high arches) which makes the boot more comfortable to wear. The inside of the boot's foot will also have enough room for your foot to spread out -- it happens naturally when you walk and apply weight to your foot as you move along.

Boots feel uncomfortable when your foot cannot flex as you walk, or if it feels as if you are walking on rocks. A boot's supplied insole should be thick enough to provide some cushioning to the bottom of the foot. Further, if the boot's foot is sized appropriately for your foot, there should be enough room to insert an added insole, such as Dr. Scholl's gel insoles. These insoles add significantly to the comfort of the boot.

Notice in this description, I am talking about what is inside the boot -- not the outer skin that is visible to you and others who look at your boots. Comfort of a boot has nothing to do with the outer skin.

It is the manufacturer of a boot that makes a big difference in the comfort. I have described how I rate comfort of boots in a previous blog post, here. My ratings are my own observations. I have observed that cowboy boots made by Lucchese, Dan Post, Nocona, Justin, and Tony Lama, are comfortable. Boots made by Acme, Cowtown, and Sendra, for example, are not (to me). But a word of caution -- each person feels comfort in different ways. Just because I listed a manufacturer (or not) on this blog about comfortable boots should not be taken as an absolute. I do not describe anything about certain manufacturers because I do not own any boots made by them -- Laredo is an example.

Generally speaking, look for these features in a cowboy boot. Each feature adds to comfort and quality:

Pegged soles

Steel shank in the insole

Sewn-on, not glued, soles

Ample room inside the foot to add an additional insole if you want

Flexible outsole (that is, the bottom of the boot)

Wide enough calf circumference for air to be able to circulate around your lower leg (so the boots do not feel hot.)

Not previously worn -- used boots conform to another guy's feet, then harden that way. You may or may not find used boots comfortable. It varies.

To summarize, snakeskin boots are -- or are not -- as comfortable as any other boot. It's not what is on the outside, it is what is on the inside that counts.

Life is short: know and wear quality boots.

39 Years of Caroling Craziness

2011-12-13T04:00:00.009-05:00

This past Saturday afternoon, my partner told me that he knew that my usual "old neighborhood" Christmas caroling event and party was being held that night, and he wanted me to go. He heard me tell a friend on the phone that I was not going to attend it this year because I did not want to leave my partner's side when he was not feeling well.

My partner would have none of it. "Go! You need to do this!" After some more conversation and assurance that my partner would be okay, I agreed. I was especially relieved when a sister offered to come over and stay with my partner while I was gone. (I sure have a wonderfully supportive family!) Off I went...

39 years ago when I was a young wascally wabbit in junior high school, a group of my classmates who lived in my neighborhood decided to go Christmas caroling. We took it so seriously. We had printed lyrics to over 40 tunes. We got together for weeks in advance to rehearse. We sang our hearts out.

We had so much fun, and our parents enjoyed sharing the joy with us, that we kept doing it. All through high school. Then when we graduated, we challenged each other that we would return to sing next year... and we did. And we did and we did and we did and we did... every.single.year since 1972. Amazing.

These days, our singing is far worse than it was 39 years ago. Our tolerance of cold weather is far less. Our disabilities show... standing for an hour is long enough. I really don't know how we did it in four-hour stretches on multiple nights back in the day ... ahhh... the enthusiasm of youth.

One of my former classmates bought his parent's house. Same neighborhood where we grew up, next door to the house in which I grew up. This is where we stage our current antics, and party afterwards. Sixteen of "the originals" attended Saturday night, including five of them who live in distant cities but flew back just for this event. Our group warmly welcomed spouses and several children -- and even a few grandchildren -- of our original group. All told, 42 of us became carolers Saturday night. What a blast!

A few years ago, we decided to do our caroling for the parents of our classmates where they live now, rather than go door-to-door in the old 'hood -- whose residents we no longer know since most homes have changed owners at least once if not more. (Though the woman who babysat for me and my siblings still lives there, so on my request, we sang a couple songs for her. That was sweet -- and she still makes the best tollhouse cookies on the planet!)

We make arrangements to visit the parents of some of our classmates who live in one of two retirement communities in the area. We met at our friend's house and then drove over -- carpool style in a VW bus (memories of old days; a classmate restored one) -- as well as more current minivans and yuppiemobiles.

We sang three Christmas carols in one place; four in the other. Once again, my friends asked me to sing Tu scendi dalle stelle which means You Come Down From The Stars. It is an old Italian folk song, sung at Christmas. My singing this is tradition -- but I so miss my twin brother's harmonizing voice!

Perhaps our visits in each location were brief, but the joy was huge. We laughed, smiled, and shared memories. It was so good to see some of my classmates in person who I only interact with occasionally on Facebook these days. Their children learned that their parents weren't the stodgy old farts that they appear to be today!

This is such a fun holiday tradition that we never want to end. I am glad that I was able to make it. It surely rekindled my Christmas spirit.

Oh, what did I wear? The usual... nice pair of leather jeans, comfortable boots to stand in (Chip Firefighters), denim shirt, and a warm leather motorcycle jacket (my Taylor's). No big deal, and consistent with my usual attire of many years in doing this.

Life is short: share joy of your roots. Merry Christmas!

Cop Boots -- Discount Coupon at Stompers

2011-12-12T04:00:00.059-05:00

You like motorcycle cop boots? Interested in Dehner Boots, stock or custom? How about those once hard-to-find All American Patrol Boots? Or those exceptionally durable and rare Wesco Motor Patrol Boots? Or what many (U.S.) East Coast cops wear, Chippewa Hi-Shine Engineer Boots?

Wanna save $20 bucks on a pair of these great boots?

Well, take advantage of the exclusive coupon code available to you from by being a reader of BHD's Musings, my blog.

To score yourself a pair of these hot boots, visit Stompers Boots on the web or call them at 1-888-BOOTMAN. Stompers has the best prices on these boots, and with the BHD Discount e-Coupon, you get $20 off your order.

You may not see Wesco Motor Patrol boots on Stomper's website, but Ken at Stompers does a great job ordering custom Wesco boots and getting you significant savings over the manufacturer's prices. These boots are not available in stock sizes; each pair is made custom to order. Why not treat yourself to a pair that fit you perfectly, as mine fit me?

You can order Dehner Boots or All American Boots in stock sizes on Stomper's website. If ordering on-line, enter "BHD" (without the quotes) in the coupon box on the order form, and click "recalculate." Then you will see $20 deducted from the cost of your order.

If ordering over the phone, just tell them that "BHD sent you" and that you want to use the "BHD" discount coupon.

This is an exclusive offer for my readers. I get no income or percentage of sales. I am doing this because I am a huge fan of the Best Darned Boot Shop in the World. You can tell that by the 24 pairs of boots I have bought from (or arranged custom fitting through) this fine boot store over the years.

Life is short: look good in motorcop boots!

Stompers Boots Discount Code

2011-12-11T09:57:00.004-05:00

As a special offer to fans of my website and this blog, visitors can take US$20 off any order of $200 or more from STOMPERS BOOTS! Woo-hoo!

More details....

I have been a loyal customer and fan of Stompers Boots of San Francisco, California, for many years. Many of you have visited pages on my website where boots that I have bought from Stompers Boots have been featured.

Mike and Ken, the owners of Stompers Boots, and I have worked out a deal for you, BHD's fans, to get a $20 discount on any purchase from Stompers -- for boots or gear or both -- for any order of US$200 or more.

To receive this BHD-exclusive offer, visit the Stompers Boots website, surf around, and order the boots you have been wanting. Add a pair of gloves, socks, or Stompers-branded merchandise, or even step up to ordering a Stomper's-labeled leather jacket made exclusively for them by Johnson Leather.

Then at on-line checkout, enter the coupon code "BHD" in the coupon box, click "recalculate", and see the $20 discount applied! It's that simple.

Stompers Boots will also give you this discount on custom orders, too. So if you have been dreaming about those custom Dehner patrol boots or special Wesco boots, then call Stompers, 1-888-BOOTMAN, and tell them what you want. They will work with you on custom sizing requirements, answer all of your questions, and get that order placed. Be sure during your call to tell them that "BHD sent you" and that you want to use the "BHD Coupon." You'll get the discount.

Stompers Boots can also handle international orders, too. They have lots of experience shipping boots and gear to destinations around the globe.

Also, let me point out ('cause a few people have asked recently) -- Stompers can get you custom boots from Dehner, such as with Voyager leather, or from Wesco with the various new colors and textures of leather that they offer -- at a much more reasonable price than from the vendors directly. Give Stompers a try; you will be glad you did.

So what are you waiting for? Hurry -- this offer will not last long. Place your order with Stompers Boots today!

Life is short: get booted right!

Peaceful

2011-12-11T04:00:00.007-05:00

My partner had an uneventful day yesterday, and felt good enough to help me finish decorating the house for Christmas. We put up our Christmas tree and put up the lights visible from the street.

I had four senior pals stop by to help decorate the tree -- two are Jewish, one is Muslim, and one is Hindu. I enjoy sharing our traditions and they share their traditions with me. It's great living in such a multicultural area.

This is a photo that I took last night of our house, at an angle so you can see both the Christmas lights as well as the full moon rising. It was a fantastic, yet peaceful, sight.

Life is short: share joy.

Priority Number One

2011-12-10T04:00:00.016-05:00

This time of year is always a challenge with events leading up to Christmas. Requests to attend parties, visits with family and friends who come to town to visit their family, and my ongoing focus on my senior pals, all have demands on a limited supply of time. And that's not to mention decorating our house, which is something my partner truly enjoys as he likes to have our house looking cheery, particularly to brighten the spirits of his mother who spends Christmas with us.

However, I have had a wake-up call to the demands of my time and priorities for something far more critical...

I regret that my partner is displaying symptoms again of his non-malignant brain tumor. For the past week, he has not been well. He is understandably worried, as am I. But I can't display my fears lest it heighten his anxiety.

Without providing much of an explanation, I just say "no, thanks" to the party invitations. I recruit some other senior pals to check on those who have more needs. We will decorate our house minimally -- it will be nice, but perhaps not have everything that we usually put out for Christmas on display.

My priority is my partner. Helping him feel calm, cared-for, and protected. Part of what I need to do is listen. Just listen. Giving him an opportunity to express his feelings and to vent is something he needs right now.

I will take him to doctor's appointments and follow through with picking up any prescriptions and providing treatments. Fortunately, I am still licensed to give injections or infusions -- if that becomes necessary. Less trips to medical facilities are a good thing.

Depending on how my partner is feeling, I may make the drive to Pittsburgh to pick up his mother, instead of my partner driving up there by himself. He may not be in the condition to drive on 19 December, which is when he was planning to go get her. We don't know... we have to wait to see what the doctors say and follow instructions.

Regardless, his Mom will be with us for Christmas. Her happiness is a priority to my partner. My priority is doing whatever makes my partner healthy and happy. If my driving all that way and back is what I need to do... I'll do it. I hate to drive, but I love my partner more than dealing with my annoyance and discomfort with long-distance driving.

Some may ask, "why can't your mother-in-law take a bus or a plane?" ... answer is, she has some mental and physical problems of her own that make independent travel an option she cannot take. She does not drive, so the only way she can visit us is for one of us to pick her up.

Perhaps the baking will wait; the visiting will be less; the decorating will be sparse. The priority remains my partner -- my best half, my one-and-only, the light of my life.

Life is short: get priorities straight.

Cuffed Comfort

2011-12-09T04:00:00.023-05:00

Once again, guys... not what you think (LOL!)

A couple years ago, Shane from Eastern Oregon Leather contacted me and I learned about the products that he makes -- superbly-designed and hand-made wrist cuffs. I received a cuff from him back then, and have continued to wear it regularly. And now, I have a new one...

A few weeks ago, I was looking for a watch band. I remembered that Eastern Oregon Leather makes wrist cuffs to which you can attach a watch. I visited the website and in addition to getting a watch band, I also bought a thick black double-buckle wrist cuff.

When do I wear it? Every day. Seriously. It's not just an accessory. It helps keep my wrist in line so when I type, which is something I do for hours every day, it prevents me from bending my wrist funny and getting carpal tunnel syndrome. I have some colleagues who have rather bad cases of carpal tunnel -- and I want to avoid that.

Wearing a wrist cuff helps keep my wrists straight, and it also looks cool. I highly recommend them!

Visit the website of Eastern Oregon Leather and get one (or more) for yourself!

Oh, where's the watch band? Well... I need to go to a jeweler and have him get my watch attached to the band for me, since the watch is missing some parts that make that connection.

Life is short: know quality when you see it -- and wear it!

The Lovely Office Christmas Parties

2011-12-08T04:00:00.028-05:00

Yep, it's that time of year again... Branch holiday gathering at a bowling alley, Division holiday breakfast, agency holiday festival, not to mention several invitations from family and friends for various gatherings... yuggghhhh. (I don't know what "yuggghhhh" really means, but it sounds descriptive of how I feel about these things.)

Will I be going to the work-related events?

Yep; have to. My absence would be conspicuously noticed. Do I want to go? Not really. So what do I do? Suck it up and go. Here are my adaptations on the yuppie/guppie* recommendations for attending work-related holiday events.

1. Dress like I dress for work--comfortable slacks or khakis, collared dress shirt, no tie, no sport coat. For after-work events, then I will wear comfy leather jeans and a denim shirt. No sweater. I don't wear sweaters because they make me look 10x larger than I really am. What's on my feet? Good-looking cowboy boots, of course. Nothing less.

2. Take a couple Excedrin because that helps me endure the discomfort with the requisite hour or two of standing. Even if chairs are available, if most people are standing and speaking with one another, I stand too.

3. Show up on time. This is an office party, not a casual "show up whenever" event. Co-workers and the bosses notice if you are late to work events.

4. Smile, and greet people warmly. I try to meet people who I do not know. While it is easier to hang out with people in my immediate work group, and who I like, it it strategically better to circulate and meet other people who I do not know, or know as well. I never know if having a casual chit-chat conversation may lead to something better for me in the future. I'm told that I have a nice smile, so I use it. (It is not a fake "I am soooo happy-to-be-here" kinda smile, either.)

5. Keep the conversation to non-controversial topics. The weather, local happenings, concern about a common acquaintance, activities we enjoy in common, and so forth. I don't talk about sports because I do not have a clue, and I do not want to come across as a complete ignoramus. I do not talk about religion or politics, either. No one will agree on anything about either subject, so I avoid those topics at all costs.

6. Eat if food is provided, but in moderation. Don't be first in the buffet line, don't be last. Don't pile the plate high as if you haven't eaten in a week. With my desire to maintain (or not gain) weight, I avoid the sweets as best I can, as well. I also politely but firmly decline offers of alcohol. It is easier these days to say, "thanks, but I don't drink alcohol. I'll be happy with water or juice."

7. For the bowling event, dodge requests to join a group to bowl. I don't bowl, and would be embarrassed to display my complete ineptitude. I don't even know how to keep score. I'll say, "I am happy to be your cheerleader, but I don't bowl." If pressed, I may make a polite excuse about a recent back strain that makes it painful for me to try to lift a heavy ball and throw it down a bowling lane. I will not say, but clearly feel, that wearing bowling shoes is against my personal principles and I wouldn't "go there." (Seriously, dorky-looking bowling shoes? Really? No way!)

8. Leave as early as I can exit, graciously. That is, not first, but certainly not last. Most people understand when you say that you have things you have to do, or in my case for evening events, be home by my 9pm self-curfew. I do not invent stories (which if checked can catch you in a lie). I just say as tactfully as I can that it's time for me to go, then I leave.

These events are supposed to be happy, pleasant times with colleagues -- not a drudge, though many (including myself) can feel that way about them. Make the best of it. It's sorta like, "do what you gotta do" and most people appreciate the effort.

Oh, and the next day... visit with the organizers of the event and thank them for the time and effort that they put into making the event happen. Thank the bosses or anyone who paid for the food and drink. Then follow-up with a brief email to the organizers, too. The time you take to thank people is noticed because that seldom happens.

Life is short: do what you gotta do!

* N.B.: "Yuppie" -- derived from Young Upcoming Professional, or YUP. Derogatory 80s term to describe a 'new breed' of young, wealthy people, typically successful in business and not afraid to flaunt it in a fashion which particularly irritates non-yuppies (like the author of this blog).

"Guppie" -- a gay yuppie. "I live in a nice, big apartment, do what I want to do, have a great job, travel, eat out when I feel like it, no kids. High disposable income. and my mom LOVES my boyfriend."

Do Insecure Guys Turn Gay?

2011-12-07T04:00:00.023-05:00

I thought I had seen everything, but perhaps not. Another question entered into a search engine, "do insecure guys turn gay?" landed on this blog for my post titled, Why Are Gay Men Insecure? (which was a deliberately misleading title.)

Oh cripes... short answer: NO! Insecure guys cannot "turn gay!" Longer answer...

This is bullshit stereotyping. Some men are insecure, and perhaps they display characteristics that some people confuse with outwardly visible characteristics of some (not all, but some) gay men. Some of the observed behaviors may include being overly accommodating, overly selfish, and having low self-esteem.

Someone who is overly accommodating attempts to gain the approval of other people by bending over backwards for them. He goes out of his way to do things for other people he admires and from whom he wants approval. There is a fine line here -- it's perfectly normal to try to help someone out, but there is a limit when accommodating others jeopardizes one's self-esteem and imposes incredible demands on a guy's time, talents, and resources.

Someone who is overly selfish attempts to find security by surrounding himself with possessions, accolades, and attention. Getting approval from others is paramount. That is why an insecure guy tends to obsess about what he wears -- so as to obtain approval from others he admires. That's also why some insecure guys buy expensive yuppie-mobiles, for example, or play "keep up with the Joneses" by buying the latest techie gadget.

These characteristics, in my opinion, come down to one's self-perception. If a guy has low self-esteem, then he fears how he appears and comes across to others. He is uncomfortable in his own skin. He does things to try to improve his feelings and self-described situation by behaving in ways that others may label as being insecure.

Self-assurance, that is, the reduction of insecurity, comes with maturity. Maturity is not necessarily a function of age. I know some very mature young men, and some immature old men.

The notion I am here to disabuse is what some straight people think: "Gay = Insecure," so in the reverse (for purposes of this blog post), the perception is that "Insecure = Gay." This is not true.

Some men are insecure. Not all of them are gay. Heck, there are a large number of insecure straight men in this world -- I see them every day in what I do for a living as well as what I do in my community. Okay, they will eventually learn (I hope so, anyway), that one of the greatest challenges we face in our lifetimes is becoming comfortable in our own skin. A person who is secure with himself is much more likely to achieve success, have meaningful relationships, and be respected by others.

Some men are gay. One is born gay -- he can't "turn gay" by having insecurities, or fears about perceptions from others. In fact, I contend that a gay man who becomes comfortable with himself displays fewer characteristics of insecurity than a gay guy who is still in the closet. When a gay man withholds disclosure of his sexual orientation from others (for various reasons), he may be afraid of "being outted" by others, and that fear manifests itself in displays of behaviors labeled as insecurity.

To summarize -- no, insecure guys cannot "turn gay." One is or is not gay to begin with at birth. It is how he acts and behaves that cause others to judge him, and mix up false perceptions based on stereotype with a guy's sexual orientation.

Life is short: be who you are; your confidence reduces feelings of insecurity.

Disclaimer: I have a doctorate in sociology; sometimes I get rather academic in sharing my observations.

Not All Harness Boots Are the Same

2011-12-06T04:00:00.011-05:00

A new pair of Double H Harness boots came into my life recently. These boots are pictured here on the right, next to a pair of favorite Chippewa Harness boots.

While both manufacturers make the boots in the USA, that is about the end of what they have in common (besides general design).

What are the differences that would affect a purchase choice?

First, the overall height. The Double H boots are stated at 10 inches while the Chips are 12".

Next, the Double H boot shafts are really narrow. I mean "squeeze-on/pull-hard" narrow. You really must have excellent flexibility in the ankle to point the toes and foot into the boot and you have to pull real hard to get them on. Once the boots are on, they fit fine, although you can feel the Double H boot shafts rubbing the lower legs. They are that tight.

Next, Double H boots are unlined, while the Chippewa Harness boots have a leather lining. That lining makes the boots much more comfortable, durable, and solid.

Finally, the soles are different. The Double H boots have a solid rubber sole, but they are not Vibram soles -- the best in the industry -- which Chippewa boots have applied at the factory.

While Double H harness boots are less expensive, the old adage, "you get what you pay for" clearly applies. Double H takes shortcuts in manufacture. The shorter height and the narrower shaft means less leather. The lack of a leather lining and narrow circumference of the boot shaft makes them much less comfortable.

In my opinion, Double H boots are not what they used to be. Chippewa has maintained much better standards in boot manufacture.

I'm not a paid spokes-bootman. I just relate what I feel and observe. I still feel that boots made in the USA are far superior to similar-style boots made in China, such as those under the Harley-Davidson license. H-D does not make those boots, but contracts with a company that engages cheap labor and uses low-quality materials.

Here is a video that I made where I describe the differences of three brands of harness boots -- Chippewa, Boulet, and Double H. You can see what I am talking about in the vid. Enjoy!

Life is short: wear quality boots, and know what you're getting.

Stretching Before Riding

2011-12-05T04:00:00.004-05:00

Man, it's hell getting old.

Saturday was bright and sunny, though rather cold. It was in the low 40s (F -- 5.5C) on Saturday afternoon when I decided to leather up and ride my Harley to run some errands. I want to ride when I can, before the crap is spread on the roads when they may get icy.

Anyway, I checked the bike over for safety issues as I always do, mounted and took off.

Each time I mount and dismount my Harley, I have to lift my leg rather high to get on the bike and off of it. Honestly, the height of my motorcycle's seat has always been difficult for me to get over, especially since I cannot swing my leg over the back of the seat since the Tourpak and back rest is in the way.

During my day's errands, I stopped at various places along the way -- a senior pal's to check on her recovery from surgery, another senior friend who needed a light repair job done in her kitchen, and my Harley dealership to pick up a part.

Unfortunately, I must have swung my leg in the wrong direction and strained a muscle in my lower back at one of the times that I mounted or dismounted the bike. I woke yesterday morning barely able to move. I managed to get up, get dressed, and go with my partner to do our weekly grocery shopping. That was not much fun, as I was in pain and his temper was brittle.

We made it home and I took the rest of the day off. Well, I cooked a batch of soup and pasta sauce, but for me, that's essentially doing nothing.

I will not take drugs except over-the-counter pain relievers. My partner gave me a massage and we sat in our hot tub for a while. Went to bed early... I sure hope this resolves by itself. I hate going to doctors, especially for something for which they can't do much.

I learned a lesson: I need to stretch before I get on my bike each time I prepare to ride it. Stretching perhaps could have prevented the strain that occurred.

Life is short: relent to aging; I ain't gettin' any younger.

Who May Legally Ride a Police Motorcycle

2011-12-04T04:00:00.026-05:00

I read an interesting internet search that landed a visitor to this blog (but on a page unrelated to this question...). The question was, "is it legal to ride a police motorcycle if your not a cop?"

Good question! And the answer is....

Yes! It IS legal to ride a police motorcycle if you are not a sworn peace officer provided the motorcycle is not equipped with working lights, sirens, or has official markings on it such as the name of a law enforcement agency or the words "police" or "sheriff." (I guess I should add: don't wear a law enforcement replica uniform while riding it, either.)

I have several friends who are not sworn law enforcement officers and who have purchased used police Harleys and ride them. When the motorcycle was sold or surplussed by the owning police agency, all markings were removed, along with the equipment (flashing lights, siren, radio, and so forth.) The running lights on the front of the bike were changed to clear lenses (instead of one having a blue lens and one having a red lens). The electronics were changed to make those lights stay on, rather than alternate to appear as if they were flashing. All LED lights along the sides and back of the bike that would flash when activated by a cop were also removed. Essentially, they returned the bike to look like its civilian cousins.

Funny, a while back someone in my motorcycle club who is part of a close clique who talk about me behind my back found an ad on an internet auction site that was offering a used Police Kawasaki that was the same make and model used in the TV show, "CHiPs." He sent me the link with the implied suggestion that since I own a CHP replica uniform, that perhaps I would like the bike to go with it. Nope; I have one motorcycle, and I'm not into maintaining an old bike. Plus, I don't have anywhere to keep it. This incident shows, in a way, what straight guys think about gay guys who like to wear replica uniforms from time to time. They just can't figure us out.

Anyway, back to the topic. My Harley Road King is almost exactly the same as some police motorcycles, but it does not have the equipment that cops have on theirs. My buddys' police Road King motorcycles look similar.

What makes a police motorcycle different is the equipment added on to it (lights, siren, radio), its markings, and (for a few model years), the engine size. Police Harleys had a 103cu engine (1688cc) since 2007, while other Harleys of that class didn't get the 103cu engine as standard until the 2012 model year. There are also a few adjustments made to how the engine and transmission operates and the size of the tires, but those changes are not a big deal.

To summarize, it is legal to ride a police motorcycle if you are not a cop provided you do not try to impersonate one by wearing a replica uniform that looks like a police uniform while riding the bike (i.e., implying you are a cop), and that the official markings and police equipment are removed from the bike. Just like it is legal for a guy who is not a cop to wear police motorboots.

Good question! Too bad you landed on my blog post about the legality of wearing a replica cop uniform on Halloween! LOL!

Life is short: ride!

Cowboy Boots In Style for Men?

2011-12-03T04:00:00.021-05:00

This kind of stuff makes me nuts sometimes, but when someone uses a search engine to look for an answer to, "are cowboy boots in style 2011 for men?" and lands visitors to this blog... I just have to comment.

Cowboy boots are timeless. They are in style all the time, year after year, summer, fall, winter, spring... any time of year in any year. If you have to wonder if boots are in style for men in any particular year, then in my opinion -- you obsess too much.

Just put your boots on, stand tall, walk confidently, and smile.

If you cannot do that, or if you have to wonder and worry if what you are wearing on your feet is in style or not, then just put on a pair of sneakers and sell any boots your own on eBay. By thinking that is a serious question and worrying about whether cowboy boots are in style or not, then in my opinion, you have lost any authorization to wear boots. Turn 'em in, mister. Men who wear boots are confident, relaxed, and secure. They could give a shit about what's in style.

End-of-story; end-of-rant.

Life is short: wear boots and tell the style-worriers to take a hike (in sneakers).

Not Going to the Wedding Reception

2011-12-02T04:00:00.000-05:00

One of my nieces is getting married to a sweet guy. I am delighted for them. They have been dating since high school and throughout their college years. After college, they went their separate ways, but reunited a couple years ago when their respective jobs placed them back in the same town, and realized that their love for each other was meant to be. Now they plan to take the next step and get married.

The wedding invitation arrived the other day. I looked at it, sighed, and told my partner....

Yep, another family wedding. It will be good to have a positive reason for all of us to get together. But I don't want to go to the reception.

My partner understands. He knows that I just can't stand dressing up and going to wedding receptions. I can't dance and hate to be in a situation to turn down requests to dance. I also don't drink alcohol, which flows freely at these events. Plus, the wedding is in one town, and the reception is 30 miles away in another, and will run late into the night. Nope, I just don't want to go.

This is a difficult conundrum for me. Most people look forward to weddings as a reason to dress up and call it fun to drink, dance, and socialize like that. I never got those genes. Blecchhh...

Not that I don't love my family. I do, very much. I just don't like wedding receptions.

So as I have done before, I will show up for the church service and say hello to the family before the service. Then after the service is over, I will go home while the others take off for the reception.

Fortunately, some of my out-of-town family will arrive a few days early, so I will visit with them casually in the days ahead. I will bring my gift to my niece beforehand, as well. I will let them know that I will not attend the reception. They would prefer that I suck it up and go, but I know in my heart that I'll be miserable and do not want to be in that situation. I'm no fun when I feel that way.

This is a bit of a bust of another gay stereotype. Many think that all gay men love weddings. I'm not one of them.

Life is short: draw your bounds and stick to 'em.

Comfort Rating of Boots

2011-12-01T04:00:00.016-05:00

Those who have studied my cowboy boot collection or my motorcycle boot collection have noticed that I rate each pair of boots for their comfort (C), look/appearance (L), and for cowboy boots, how they sound (S).

Recently, I received an email about my "C" -- comfort -- rating. The question was:

I wanted to know about the C rating you have. When a boot has a low C rating, what makes them hard to wear for long periods? What gets uncomfortable about the boot? Is it they are too stiff? Too hard on the bottom of your feet? The insides are too rough (unfinished leather)? Just curious about your rating system as I am looking for comfortable boots that can be worn for a while without the torture!

My response:

Thanks for your message! I appreciate the inquiry.

When I give a pair of boots a lower comfort rating, I am expressing an opinion about the overall comfort of the boots when I have worn them after they are well broken in.

Some boots are my size, but still do not fit well. Some of the more uncomfortable boots that I own are used boots that I bought on eBay. Even though the boots were my size, they still did not fit right.

One would think that used boots would be comfortable, because they are broken in. However, I have learned that boots conform to the original wearer's feet and legs, and do not change when someone else puts them on. So if the first guy who broke them in made the footbed conform in a particular way to his foot, it could cause my foot to ache because the dimensions of my foot are different from his. If that happens, then I give the boots a lower comfort rating. Or, some old boots have narrower boot shafts than I require, so the boots hurt my legs by squeezing them.

New boots generally have a higher comfort rating. Particularly, boot makers are learning to install comfortable insoles and more flexible outsoles, which add to the overall comfort when the boots are worn for a long time. Also, some of my boots are custom made, and therefore they should be more comfortable because they are made to my size requirements. This is especially true for tall boots that I own, like those made by Wesco and Dehner.

Overall, the predominant reason that I may rate a pair of boots lower on my comfort scale is that the footbed is hard, inflexible, and there is not enough room inside the boot to install a gel insole. A good gel insole will make the bottom of my feet comfortable, but pushes the tops of my feet against the inside of the boot foot -- and thus makes the boots uncomfortable again. This happens mostly with some low-end commercial boot labels like Cowtown, for example. (But it also happens to me with
higher-end commercial boots made by Sendra, which makes a smaller-than-average area for the foot to fit into.)

Again, the comfort ratings are my personal opinions about boots that I own. I know guys who swear by the comfort of some brands of boots that have been uncomfortable to me, and vice-versa. It is a personal thing, and quite dependent on your own feet (arches, metatarsals, bunions, etc.)

So that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Life is short: wear comfortable boots!

How Chippewa Boots Are Made

2011-11-30T04:00:00.003-05:00

I found the following video made by Justin Brands, the owner of Chippewa Boots. The video gives a tour of a facility where Chippewa boots are made and demonstrates the the combination of both human attention to detail along with machine processes to manufacture mass-market boots in the United States.

I have many pairs of Chippewa boots and have found them to be very well-made and comfortable.

Life is short: know your boots!

Mom and a Gay Son

2011-11-29T04:00:00.019-05:00

I will depart from my usual dialogue on this blog to recognize my Mom who would have been 94 years old today if she were still alive.

How did a mother deal with the realization that her son was gay?

I have blogged before about this, but some newer readers may have missed it, so I will repeat the story, but not copy what I have said before.

When I was growing up, 14th kid among 15 in the family, understanding that there was a possibility that one (or more) of her children could be gay was about the last thing on my parent's minds. It was not a matter to discuss or think about back in the '50s or '60s.

I had a happy childhood, filled with family and fun. While my early teen years were painful with the death of my father and being bullied in Junior High School, I managed to survive with the love and caring from my family and close friends.

I knew something was different about me when I was in high school, but couldn't determine what it was. I was not interested in girls the way my twin brother or classmates were. Sure, I had a lot of female friends, but that was it. Going on a date was always platonic. I have been told by several female classmates later in life (as we remained friends) that they suspected that I was gay, but liked me anyway.

In my teen years, I cannot say that I was attracted to other guys. Sure, I liked looking at their boots, but in all honesty, that was that. I was not attracted to them in a sexual way. I was rather asexual. Not interested, but I sometimes wondered why, and why I was different.

Throughout my college years, I was way too busy to come to grips with my sexual orientation. I had figured it out by my early 20s, but didn't act on it. I had more classes on my schedule than the average bear, was quite involved as a student leader in campus activities, and worked part-time as well.

I remember every now and then, my Mom would ask me if I were dating -- at all. Generally, I shrugged and said, "T and I went to the movies last week" or "R and I had a great time at the fraternity event" or "S and I had fun at Homecoming" or "G and I had fun at [such-and-such] event." Yes, I went out with many women, but again... only platonically.

Come to think about it, I didn't go "out" with any man on what one may call a date when I was in college, either. I may have hung out with a group of guys, but usually they were fraternity brothers and we did things together as fraternities do -- fundraisers, dances (which I avoided), meetings, Greek Week, intramural football games (which I cheered, but didn't play), and so forth. (BTW, my college social fraternity didn't have a "house" when I helped to found its chapter and get it started. I always lived off campus in my own place, so I could go to bed at my usual early bedtime and not be kept awake by a bunch of rowdy students.)

After college and when I settled down into a "real job," I was heavily involved in reconstructing an old house to make it my home. I bought a house that had been abandoned. The cost was quite low -- for a reason -- the house was in rough shape. I spent three years using my own sweat equity to replace almost every part of that house from the roof to the foundation, to the walls, ceilings, and the floors, from the electrical to the plumbing, and everything in between. I couldn't afford to hire contractors, and my drive to spend only what I have is something I learned from a very young age. For three solid years, I would work on that house every day after work and on weekends. -- no dating, no men, no women, no nuttin'. By the time my day's work on the house was done, I was too exhausted to even think about going out with anyone, male or female.

My Mom kept encouraging me to have a more active social life. "Why don't you go out with P any more? She is a nice young lady." or "Your friend R sure is nice. Does she still live around here?" Hints, Mom, hints... yeah, I get it, but I wasn't interested.

By then, the early '80s, the AIDS crisis was becoming a major concern. I would read almost every day about gay men dying a horrible, painful death. AIDS or the threat of contracting this mysterious disease scared me right back into the closet.

Finally, when I reached my mid-30s, I had settled into a routine at work, was making a livable income, my house was paid for, and my expenses were low. I had more free time, so I decided that I wanted to ride my motorcycle with other guys, and began to look for what I thought would be an interesting combination -- motorcycling with gay men who liked to wear leather and boots.

I did not know then that such a group was a wish rather than reality. However, I joined an "MC" Club based in DC, naively thinking that "MC" meant "motorcycle." Ha! It turned out that the only good thing about that club (composed of a bunch of drama queens) was that my partner had joined it, too. That's where we met. Soon after we met, we both quit the club and began our life together.

I brought him with me one day to my Mom's home soon after we started going out. I needed his help to repair a leaking faucet in my Mom's kitchen. As my Mom saw how I reacted and responded to my "new friend," she could tell that our relationship was more than buddies.

Thus began my Mom's coming to terms with having a gay son. Here I was, age 35, unmarried, not dating women, claiming I was too busy or ignoring the situation, then I show up with a guy and flirt with him in front of my Mom. She was a smart woman, and it didn't take a nanosecond for her to figure it out.

Initially, she was upset. She was afraid that I would contract AIDS simply because I was dating a man. But that was during a time of extreme anxiety over wild and incomplete news reports. I can understand her concern.

Fortunately, my Mom always had an open mind and a desire to learn. She asked for information to be sent to her in the mail from reputable organizations. She accepted advice from my siblings, who supported me without question or reservation. I think two things helped my Mom grow to accept and understand that I would be okay:

1) my twin brother telling her, "heck, Mom, I've known he was gay for a long time. So what? He's the same guy we've always loved. Nothing has changed." This statement had a profound effect on my Mom when she realized that every word was true.

2) my Mom learned by observing that my partner was honest and financially stable. He wasn't out to take advantage of me. He did a lot of things that demonstrated his caring concern and love, which endeared him both to me and to my Mom.

I think what Moms want most for their sons is assurance that they will be happy, healthy, and well cared-for in their adult lives. My Mom learned that. In fact, by the year of her unexpected sudden death (1998), my Mom and my partner had become close. So close, in fact, that my partner was the only "in-law" that my Mom listed as a request to be a pall bearer at her funeral. That request spoke volumes and made it clear to my family that my Mom not only "accepted" my partner, but loved him.

My story is probably different from other gay men's stories of strife, struggle, and estrangement. I am very happy that my Mom was not influenced by some wacko religion that preaches hate. I am glad that my Mom maintained the dialogue as she was learning about something new to her -- what it was to have a gay son. I am honored that my siblings remained steadfast in their support (though I cannot say that for all of my in-laws, but that's another story). I am pleased that the community, county, and state where I live gives me comfort in knowing that I can live openly and honestly, and contribute in a variety of ways to the mutual benefit of all residents -- gay or straight.

But most of all, I am thankful for my Mom. For her wisdom, courage, candor, and her love. Today on her birthday, and always. Happy birthday, Mom.

Life is short: remember those you love.

Out Riding Again!

2011-11-28T04:00:00.023-05:00

Woo-hoo! I can't believe it... Sunday, November 27, and it reached 70F! (21C). By early afternoon, my partner and I had done all we could do on our home project. He said, "it's so warm and sunny, why don't you go for a ride?"

He didn't have to ask twice.

Then I got to thinking. Day before yesterday, a buddy mentioned in a comment on Facebook that he would be interested in going on a ride with me on my Harley, as he had never ridden on a motorcycle before. I called him (he shall remain nameless, but if you saw his face and lived in my county, you probably would recognize him). He happily said, "yes!" when I asked if he wanted to go with me on a ride. I went over to his house, gave him instructions on riding as a passenger, handed him a helmet, put my helmet on, then we mounted the Harley and took off.

Yep, two guys on a Harley. Oooohhh... some people get all tworked about two men riding on the same motorcycle. Sheesh... get over your hang-ups, stereotypes, and homophobia. My buddy is a happily married heterosexual. I am a monogamously-partnered gay guy. So what? My buddy and I have been friends for over 25 years. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with our relationship as friends. Riding a Harley as a passenger doesn't, either.

We enjoyed a 40-mile ride along Maryland's beautiful country roads and byways on what I term a true bonus post-season riding day. Smiles for miles...

Life is short: RIDE!

Out Riding

2011-11-27T04:00:00.014-05:00

This post could have been posted yesterday, the day before, or even on Thanksgiving (Thursday). Man, we have had a wonderful streak of delightful weather. I am sorry about seeming to rub it in to my biker buddies in locations where the weather has not been nearly as cooperative, but whenever I get a chance, I ride...

Thanksgiving Day was great... 101 guests along with 11 family members and my partner celebrated a ban on loneliness throughout the day. Everything went smoothly, and our guests had a great time. Cleanup was easy since my family and a few senior pals helped out at the end. All my partner and I had to do on Friday was return some borrowed chairs and tables and drop off a load at the dump (sorry, I forget. Here in Snoburbia, we call it a "transfer station.")

After taking care of those chores, I hopped on my Harley and cruised by my dealership to have the bike's battery replaced. The original battery was not holding a charge and it was time for a replacement. I bought a new battery last week when they offered members of our riding club a 20% discount. After the battery replacement was finished, I cruised for a couple hours to nowhere. I loved it. Beautiful late autumn day, sunny and bright w/o a cloud in the sky, with temperatures in the upper 50s (~14C). I wore full leather, Wesco boots, and a huge grin on my face.

Yesterday, Saturday, I had some chores to do at home with the partner, then with some senior pals, as usual. I did some minor home repairs for them, and took a few to the grocery store. By then, the temperatures had reach 68F! (20C). Amazing for this time of year. So once again, I leathered up and went for a ride.

When I rolled up to a stoplight, I met a younger guy from my club who was riding alone. We teamed up and rode together for a couple hours. We both had a great time!

Today probably won't find me out riding, as much as I would like to be doing it. I have a rather major home repair that has to get done. My partner and I will be replacing the floor of our master bathroom shower, and caulking it in. Let's hope it works as planned.

Life is short: RIDE! (when you can... it won't be long before weather keeps even the most hardy bikers indoors and off their rides.)

Small Business Saturday

2011-11-26T04:00:00.014-05:00

Here in the U.S., today, Saturday November 26, 2011, it is "small business Saturday." While this "event" is sponsored by American Express, the intent is to encourage people to make purchases at small businesses over big-box retailers.

My favorite boot store, Stompers Boots of San Francisco is one of those small businesses. My friend Mike, the Founder of Stompers Boots, refers to his shop as a "pop-and-pop" shop (LOL!) I strongly support this store (as my motorcycle boot collection will attest!)

Why do I support small business?

My disdain for big box retailers originated in Oklahoma. Two cousins and some friends each owned small businesses in the small town where my Mom was born and raised, and where I spent many happy years part-time as a youth. One cousin owned a western store. He sold boots, shirts, jeans, belts, and tack (for riding horses.) Another cousin owned a ladies' dress and sportswear shop. They were doing okay, keeping their families fed, and contributing to the local tax base.

Then, not surprisingly, Walmart came to town. While they promised not to compete directly, their empty promises brought cheap foreign-made clothing (and boots) to their store. Soon enough, people in that small town shopped there more and more and patronized my cousins' stores less and less. Within a few years, each of my cousins had to go out of business, because they could not afford to operate a traditional small brick-and-mortar store when the ruthless retailing monster wielded its might to twist arms of vendors so they could offer prices far below what small businesses could afford to sell the same items for. Also, Walmart offered cheap Chinese-made knock-offs of major U.S.-made products.

In my opinion, Walmart (and other big box retailers) killed small business in towns across America. In my Mom's small Oklahoma town, if you wanted to work in retail, you either worked for them (because they were the only retailer that had jobs), or you were unemployed. Further, Walmart has the awful reputation of not offering benefits like health insurance and retirement plans because most of their employees work part-time, below the threshold of hours required to qualify for these benefits.

My cousins had to leave town, abandon their homes, and start anew in other lines of work in larger cities. Their lives were forever changed by Walmart -- and not for the better.

For them, and for the hundreds of thousands of lost small business retailers in America (including those who served them as vendors), I pledged never to set foot in Walmart. I have sustained my pledge for 30 years, and vow to maintain it. They suck. I also avoid similar big-box retailers that import cheap foreign-made products as best I can. (Trouble is, you can't find an American-made TV any more, can you?)

I am pleased to say that once again for this coming Christmas holiday, all of the gifts that I have purchased have been bought through small businesses. I may have purchased on-line, but from a small business, such as Stompers Boots or others. But I have not purchased gifts from Walmart, Target, Best Buy, Amazon, Zappos, or the like.

Hey, if you're looking for some cool boots for the holiday, Stompers is offering some good deals for Small Business Saturday through Cyber Monday, November 28. Check 'em out!

Life is short: support small businesses. Even if it costs a bit more, the investment in our economy supporting U.S. labor and jobs is important.

Black Friday

2011-11-25T04:00:00.009-05:00

Black Friday! The day in the U.S. after Thanksgiving is known to be "the" day when stores offer many sales for Christmas. I shan't say "to start the holiday season" because many retailers put up holiday displays back in late August. Bah, humbug.

Anyway, what I am I doing today?

NOT shopping. My Christmas shopping was completed in July. However, perhaps I will wear all black leather today, in honor of the name of the day, and also 'cause I like to wear leather. (giggle.)

Today, my partner and I are recovering. This post is a place-holder for a description of how our Thanksgiving went... but I may not update it before it gets posted. I wrote this post a few days ago.

So for now, I am sure that the morning began with a long, warm snuggle with my partner. Both of us have the day off work today. We will likely have to make a run to the dump with collected garbage, return borrowed chairs and tables, and do some housecleaning. Goodness knows, a few years ago we didn't clean as well as we should have done after one of these Thanksgiving feasts. We discovered a couple weeks later that a turkey leg was, ahem, making its presence known under the sofa in the family room. How it got there, one never knows. Don't worry, today we will be inspecting thoroughly!

Meanwhile, shopping is the last thing on my mind. Rest, recovery, and basking in great joy from our Thanksgiving is what I'm up to today.

Life is short: wait for Small Business Saturday (tomorrow) if you must shop. Tune in tomorrow for what that's all about.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T04:00:00.022-05:00

Busy, busy, busy today! I have been up and at-em since 4am, preparing for our annual Thanksgiving Holiday senior's pot-lock bash. Throughout the day, we anticipate seeing about 100 guests, 10 or so family members, some senior elected officials, and who knows what else...

Checklist:

Turkeys: two cooked and sliced yesterday, two in the oven today, so we get that fresh roasted turkey aroma throughout the day.

Trimmings: guests bring all the side dishes and desserts. I'm certain we will have more than ample.

Drinks: all day yesterday, I visited senior pals who were donating soft drinks, beer, and wine, so I could get them home and on ice to chill. (My fridge is beyond full; I am using two neighbors' refrigerators as well as four humongous ice chests.)

Plates and utensils: a few of my senior pals do not cook, so they donated plastic forks, knives, and spoons, as well as paper products -- durable paper plates, napkins, and paper towels. One also donated a ton of trash bags, which we will definitely find useful!

Decorating: my partner has done a great job clearing space for guests, and placing some gift flower arrangements that have been sent to us in various places around the house. He also has placed nice table cloths on our dining room and kitchen tables, and even our two kitchen islands where drinks are served.

Chairs and tables: two nice neighbors have lent me additional folding chairs, TV trays, and card tables. My partner and I moved some of our regular furniture (coffee and end tables) out of the way to open up the space for guests to circulate and provide more room for seated eating.

Guest attendants: Two sisters, one brother, four nieces, two nephews, and probably a partridge in a pear tree or two will be helping out all day. Bless my family; I know not what I would do without their steadfast support.

Special guests: I have confirmed that three high-level elected officials will drop by to share cheer, but not engage in politicking for votes.

Transportation: while there is probably enough parking near our house (or on our driveway and two neighbors' driveways), we arrange for most of our guests to be picked up and driven back home. Why? Because we learned that if we do not tell them that their ride is leaving, they are reluctant to leave, which can make for an exceptionally crowded afternoon. Four of my senior pals are doing two shifts of "driving duty" to help resolve this situation.

Ramps and hand-rails: A few years ago, I built a special ramp that goes from my front door to our driveway, with handrails. It makes it so much easier for seniors who have physical disabilities to join us. My partner and I installed it yesterday and assured that it is firm and stable.

Wrapping machine: I learned that guests bring much too much food, and there is no way we can eat all the leftovers. So when one of our local grocery stores went out of business, I bought a machine that wraps plates with food wrap. One of my family elves will pile food on a plate for each guest before he/she leaves, wrap it up, place a bow on it, and give it to our guest to take home. Best of both worlds -- our guests get more home-cooked food to enjoy for the next few days, and we do not end up with food that would spoil.

Tranquilizer for the partner: 'nuf said. LOL!

Happy Thanksgiving! Check back tomorrow to see how we survived!

What Thanksgiving Means To Me

2011-11-23T04:00:00.032-05:00

Tomorrow is the date when we celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States, and by those who serve our country in distant lands across the world. Whether we agree or disagree with the politics of what places U.S. Service Members overseas, we must remember that they are separated from family and friends during a time of traditional reunion. I extend my thanks to them for their sacrifice and service.

What does Thanksgiving mean to me? Turkey, all the trimmings, football games on television, seeing Uncle Whazzisname but once a year? Nope....

Thanksgiving was created in America to give thanks for the fall harvest and to share the bounty with family, friends, and neighbors. There is quite a history of this major national holiday (see it here). Feeding neighbors is the foundation of American Thanksgiving, as the first Thanksgiving was in 1621 when the Pilgrims held the first feast for themselves and their Native American neighbors.

Flash forward to 2011... here we are, feeding neighbors with the bountiful delights of a pot-luck harvest with and for my senior pals.

Customarily, most families try to reunite with each other on this holiday. However, such reunions are also a focus for Christmas, just one month away. Most of my senior pals who live alone cannot afford to travel to visit children who live far away on both holidays so close together on the calendar. The reverse is true, as well -- children have trouble getting time off work and/or school to come home for Thanksgiving.

That leaves a situation of many seniors being alone on Thanksgiving. I just can't abide that. To make a sad situation much more happy, we invite friends (and friends-of-friends and friends-of-friends-of-friends) who otherwise would be alone on this holiday to join us. Over four three-hour "shifts" throughout the day, about 100 of our friends come by, bearing some of the harvest -- a dish for four. Their contribution may include vegetables, breads, appetizers, and -- of course -- pies, pies, pies. What would Thanksgiving be without apple and pumpkin pie? And don't forget the cranberry sauce (though hardly anyone eats the stuff LOL!)

All I do is cook four farm-raised fresh turkeys (two ovens, two days.) Ten of my sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews set out a grand buffet and we all munch, graze, or otherwise "partake." We sing silly songs around the piano, root for whatever team is playing football (if one cares to watch the TV in the media room), or chat with each other in more quiet areas of the house (or weather-permitting, out on one of the decks.)

What does Thanksgiving mean to me? It is a time to share the joy of bonds of long-term friendship and love with great people who form the net who sustain my soul. It is a time for me to thank my family and friends for their caring concern and love extended throughout the year. It is a time to remember happy memories of times gone by, people we love, and things we have done with and for each other. It truly is... a time of smiles and great joy in sharing God's blessings.

Personally, I have one more important thing that Thanksgiving means to me: it is a time when I give many thanks to my partner for his steadfast support, love, strength, determination, and for being my "best half, partner through life."

So while my partner will work behind the scenes tomorrow, doing what he does best -- listening to stories that seniors wish to share -- I'll be circulating among all, sitting with each one, taking a moment to hold his or her hand, look into her or his eyes, and say with sincerity, "thank you -- for your love, support, and caring."

This is what Thanksgiving means to me. A time to extend my sincere thanks to my family, my friends, and to you, my loyal blog followers. Thank you for caring enough to read my daily ramblings. And for those of you with whom I have built a friendship, thanks for your kindness, warmth-of-heart, and humor. I appreciate it!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Life is short: show those you love how you love them.

Ostrich Biker Boot Deal!

2011-11-22T04:00:00.018-05:00

Being a biker who is also fond of cowboy boots and the various types of skins that may be used to make them, I was intrigued to find a pair of Chippewa harness boots that have an ostrich foot and traditional leather shafts, along with good-quality Vibram lug soles.

So when I saw them on a website back in March, (continued after the jump)...

I contacted the seller and negotiated a good price on a pair of these beauties in brown. (I don't take list price for an answer... there is always wiggle-room if a seller wants to move product.)

I wore these boots throughout the past summer while riding my Harley. Even good-looking enough to wear with dress clothes to work. They are very comfortable, well-constructed, traditional tough-looking harness boots.

Chippewa also makes these boots in black. I have a lot of black motorcycle boots, so I thought I would "take a pass" on spending US$360 to buy them in black. The ostrich skin makes these boots more expensive than if they were made of all-leather.

However, come November, what did I see on eBay but a pair of these ostrich boots in black. My size! Okay... I'm no fool when it comes to snatching up a quality. I bid and got them for only $30. Amazing... they retail for more than 11 times that amount. They guy selling them lived up the road from me, so the day after I won the bid and paid, I met him at a mutually-convenient public location (I never invite strangers to the house). Double-amazing on the quick delivery (but it was a Saturday, so it was convenient for both of us).

The seller said that he bought them and, in his opinion, thought the ostrich foot was "too much" and some of his friends make snide comments. He wore them a few times, but when I inspected them, they were practically brand new. Triple-amazing.

Well, his loss and my gain. They go great with dressy clothes that I wear to work, as well as with leather... versatility in boots is a good thing (LOL!)

Who gives a frig about what other people say about the boots on your feet? If people feel compelled to make snide comments, it's probably because they are insecure and feel better putting other people down. Hell with it... the boots are fantastic. I will wear these boots often -- throughout the winter with dress clothes to work, and when I ride my Harley, too.

More photos of these black ostrich harness boots.

Life is short: know quality and wear it!

Cowboy Boots Rubbing Legs

2011-11-21T04:00:00.002-05:00

Occasionally, I receive questions from visitors to my website or this blog.

A recent question was, "do any of the cowboy boots that you own rub your legs and cause sores or blisters?"

My answer to that question was...

...yes, some of my cowboy boots have done that. This problem occurs when the boot shafts are a bit narrow (so they are closer to my legs) and the stitching on the inside of the shafts is not finished well. That is, the stitching may be loose or uneven. The threads used these days are usually nylon, which is rather rough and abrasive when it rubs on the side of legs. (Kevlar is even worse). Walking can cause the threads to rub against the legs in the same places over and over again, causing (in the worst circumstances), the skin to be abraded and maybe even a bleeding sore.

There are four ways that I have dealt with this problem when I feel it.

1. I will closely examine the inside of the boot shafts where I am feeling the rubbing sensation. If there are any loose threads or unfinished ends of leather, I will try to cut them off or if I can't cut them, to melt them. Yeah, I said "melt." Boot threads made of nylon will melt when exposed to a flame. So I will take the boots and my lighter outside to a clear area (I am always a fire-safety guy!) ... light the lighter and carefully wave the end of the flame near the threads to melt them. I am very careful not to get the flame too close to the leather, because it will cause leather to discolor and to shrink (in the area directly exposed to flame.) I am also very careful not to burn the threads completely through -- if that happens, the boot may begin to fall apart.

After the threads are melted, I will carefully pull or break off the melted ends to smooth them out. Then I proceed with the next step.

2. I will get some medium (100 grit) sandpaper and rub it on the offending loose threads, beading, or ends-of-leather. Essentially, I will "sand down" the parts that are causing the rubbing. After I have sanded all areas that I think are causing the problem, I will gently wipe the areas that I sanded with a damp cloth, then pull the boots on to check if the problem has gone away. If not, I will repeat the process until the problem is resolved.

3. In cases where I cannot melt or sand an offending area to smoothness -- such as where a boot pull attaches to the inside of a boot -- then I will get some regular masking tape ("paper tape") and carefully place the tape over the offending area. Usually that works, but not always. Tape also has to be replaced from time to time, as it is not a permanent fix.

4. I may use the professional boot stretcher that I own to try to stretch the boot shafts, slowly over time. If I am able to stretch the shafts of leather boots even 1/4" (6mm), I may eliminate the problem because the area that was rubbing is no longer close to my legs for me to feel it.

Such is life of a Bootman. Not all boots are made the same. I hate to say it, but it doesn't really matter if the boots are made by an expensive custom one-of-a-kind bootmaker, a commercial mass-production vendor, or where in the world the boots are made. Sometimes there may be loose threads, beading, or bits of leather that will rub on your legs. It is fairly easy to resolve yourself with a bit of ingenuity and tactics as described above.

Life is short: make your boots comfortable!

Grrrrrr!ay Leather

2011-11-20T04:00:00.001-05:00

I had a chance to take a ride yesterday while the weather was sunny and pleasantly cool. It was about 50°F (10°C), which was perfect weather to break in my custom gray leather jacket and my matching gray leather pants that I bought earlier this year from Johnson Leather of San Francisco, California, USA.

These leathers are thick and warm, and are made for cold-weather riding. They are very comfortable, and look great. Funny thing happened on the ride, too....

I have said before, not all leather must be black! But I did wear a traditional pair of tall black Wesco Boss boots. They are comfortable boots and keep my legs warm.

This gear attracted some attention when I stopped at a few places along my ride. The funniest incident was when I was mounting my Harley in a parking lot, and a guy rode up in a tricked-out, hot Camaro. He got out of his car, looked me up and down, and said, "Grrrrrr!" I just smiled. The term "Grrrrrr" in the Gay Leathermen Community is an expression of appreciation and admiration. LOL!

It was great to get out for an unexpected ride on a pleasantly cool day in full leather.

Life is short: appreciate all the "Grrrrrs" you can get!

Sports-Talking Seatmates

2011-11-19T04:00:00.000-05:00

On a recent airline flight, I was seated at a window and two other guys were next to me in the middle and aisle. These guys knew each other, which was easy to tell by their familiar form of speaking with one another.

As the plane was loading and took off, they continued chatting. They asked me a few questions about routine stuff. I politely answered questions like, "where are you going? What will you be doing?," and so forth.

Then their conversation turned to sports.

They seemed to know the names of every player on every team, how each player was doing, and were making predictions about various upcoming football games.

They tried to draw me into their conversation with some casual questions like, "do you think Quarterback [name] on [team] has a chance?"

A chance of what? I haven't a clue.

I smiled and said, "I don't know." I was hoping that they would sense my disinterest and move on, or just talk with each other and not try to involve me.

Then one of the guys asked, "what was the rushing yardage of [football player]?" As if I knew (or cared) about such statistics -- even if the player were on the team from my home location.

I ignored that one, and was pleased that we were interrupted by an announcement over the P.A. system.

But that guy wouldn't give up. He asked me again, "didn't [player] have better rushing last year than this year so far?"

I finally had it. I turned to them, smiled, and said, "I'm sorry, guys, but I don't follow football and don't know the answers to your questions."

They didn't get it. They just kept going. "Okay, but tell me, what do you think about Quarterback [name] on [team]?

I replied and said, "Guys, I told you, I don't know. I don't care about football."

Man, it was like I said that I didn't care about The Bible or God. They got upset. "What do you mean that you don't care? All guys care about this stuff. It's important!"

I wasn't going to argue with them. I just kept quiet. But they persisted with some more questions and comments to try to draw me into the conversation.

I decided that it was best not to make a scene. By then, the announcement was made that we could use portable electronic devices, so since I am smartphone-less, I did the next-best thing. I pulled out my Bose Quietcomfort headphones and connected an iPod to it, turned up the volume, reclined the seat, shut my eyes, and listened to some of my favorite tunes.

Bose headsets are great, but they do not block all sound completely. For hours and hours I could hear these guys blathering about football non-stop. The entire five-hour flight, that's all they did. I never got a nap. But I listened to over 60 of my favorite tunes!

Arrrggghhh... such is life of a non-sports fan.

Life is short: take a hint.

I'm Surprised They Let Me In

2011-11-18T04:00:00.005-05:00

Recently, I traveled to a conference and went through four airports along the way -- my home airport, Philadephia, Las Vegas, and Phoenix, then back to my home airport.

Throughout my travels, everyone -- I mean everyone -- had some sort of smart phone and was fiddling with it to check email and use various applications.

They would hold it up in front of them and walk along, bumping into pillars, posts, and other people. They would be so engrossed in their devices that they didn't hear announcements for when the flight was loading. Some used it to hold up some type of bar code image at the gate -- sorta like an electronic boarding pass. Some refused to turn it off when instructed by airline attendants before takeoff.

Honestly, I am surprised that they let me into an airport without one. Even as I went through Security, a TSA Guy asked me, "where's your smartphone?" as if not having one was a crime.

I truly feel as if I am the last remaining man who works in a professional position (and could afford one) who does not have one of those devices.

I recognize that these devices provide convenience, and can offer quick access to information-on-demand. I used to have a Blackberry when I was required to have one by a former employer. I know what these devices can do.

Why don't I have one?

Two major reasons and a minor one:

1. I learned that my time "off-the-net" or what I call "disconnected time" is critical for my mental health. I need "down time" without distractions. Such "time off" allows me to concentrate on what is important -- driving a 5,000-pound death machine (a vehicle); my partner, family, and friends to whom I give undivided attention when I am with them; and my sanity. I really don't need to know the news as it happens. I can find out when it is convenient to me, not the other way around.

2. "Only a dollar a day" for the cost of a monthly data package doesn't wash with me. With taxes, fees, and related expenses, I can put that US$400 per year to much better use. Okay, call me cheap. I prefer to be called frugal. Further, if these kids who are participating in all the "occupy"-this-and-that location are so against "corporate greed," then they should live by the words they preach, and not make rich companies richer by paying the monthly ransom for the data packages on these devices.

3. The minor reason that I don't have a smartphone is that I am not that important. I do not work in a job that requires continued connectivity back to the office or from emergency alerts. At the times in my life when I was required to have a smart phone, it was because I had micromanagers as bosses who demanded almost instantaneous responses wherever I was. I am extremely thankful that my current boss, the owner of my company, is not a micromanager. When he wants to reach me, he sends an email and waits for my reply, or if it is more urgent, he calls me on the phone. Wow -- a phone call. Who woulda thunk?

Oh well, such is life of a Dinosaur who remains on a first-name basis with Julius Caesar.

Life is short: enjoy peace and cost-savings.

Conversation Topics for Gay and Straight Guys

2011-11-17T04:00:00.002-05:00

Somehow a search for "conversation topics for gay and straight guys" directed a visitor to this blog.

In case you are a new reader of this blog, or just stumbled upon it, I am a middle-aged gay man in a monogamous relationship with another man, and have been so settled for over 18 years. I consider myself to be a regular masculine man, with various likes and dislikes -- like anyone else.

The topic is interesting to me on several levels.

The majority of people with whom I communicate regularly are straight -- where I work, where I serve my community as a volunteer, and in the group with whom I ride my motorcycle. Besides my partner and few friends, I don't know any other gay people, and do not go to social functions focused solely on the basis of gay people being there. I feel that as a confident and secure, mature man, I don't need to socialize only with gay people. In fact, I enjoy socializing with a mixed group better than a "gay-only" group.

When I have a conversation with straight people, I talk about common interests. I have a wide variety of interests, and talk about things I enjoy doing or learning about with others. I join the conversation when I have something to add, and shut up when I don't.

I avoid joining conversations about sports, because I don't know anything about organized sports. Frankly, I don't care. When straight people (or gay people, for that matter) take the conversation into sports, I just smile and listen. I am attentive, so the others know that I care enough to listen to what they have to say. What they don't know is that soon after the conversation has ended, I have forgotten its content.

I believe that conversation topics for gay and straight guys is exactly the same as they are between any guys without regard to sexual orientation. Someone being gay only becomes an issue if one makes it that way. Just be yourself, and talk about things where you have common interests.

If you are not sure where you may have common ground, ask some questions to get the conversation going, such as,
* where do you live?
* what are your hobbies?
* what do you do for a living?
* Have you traveled much? To where? What was your favorite place and why? Least favorite place and why?
* If you haven't traveled much, where would you like to visit?
* What's your favorite season?
* What are your favorite foods?
* What are your favorite local restaurants?
* What are your favorite TV shows? Movies? Books? Characters?
* Where did you go to school?

These are general, open-ended questions design to get a conversation going. Most anyone can find things to talk about among these topics. Note that there are not any questions that may introduce sexual orientation into the mix. For example, no question about someone else's spouse or children like, "are you married?" or "how many kids do you have?" Asking someone about his spouse or children inevitably invites a return question about yourself which if answered honestly makes it clear that you're gay. Coming out (as gay) to someone you have just met can make for awkward moments and may kill a conversation. So steer the conversation into neutral territory, at first.

I am not advocating hiding in the closet (that is, not disclosing your sexual orientation.) I am only saying that your sexual orientation should not be the first topic of conversation, or a central focus.

In summary, my recommendation for conversation topics between gay and straight men are the things that you share in common -- where you work, who you know (mutual friends), and what you do (religious activities, recreation, sports, affiliation with groups or clubs, etc.) There usually are plenty of things to talk about, if only you give it a try.

Life is short: relax and enjoy the conversation.

Boot Daddy

2011-11-16T04:00:00.008-05:00

Sorry, fellas ... not what you think. This time I am writing about something that a friend brought to my attention -- the marketing of a line of products (boots, hats, and cologne) for men that has been named, "Boot Daddy."

Oh...my...gosh. My first thoughts?

Are they nuts? Well, not really, they're trying to come up with some kind of name to hold a line of products together, but there is something "not right" about a name "Boot Daddy" for marketing cowboy boots, hats, and fragrance to men. They obviously have no knowledge of how such a term could be interpreted in the gay community (LOL!)

In the ad, they are trying to market "the baddest boots on the boulevard" then display a rather standard line of Lucchese 1883 cowboy boots. These are the low-end of the Lucchese line. Some of what may make them think that the boots are the "baddest" is that the line includes some stonewash (colors), exotic skins, and multi-colored leathers. But to me, as an experienced Bootman, a boot is a boot... and just because a pair of boots is made with exotic skins or unusual colorings doesn't make it the "baddest." Just different.

But what really got me was the marketing of the cologne. In my opinion, men should not wear fragrances. Yuck. Makes them smell like a wannabe dimestore cowboy. Nope. A man is a man and smells like a guy. Not raunchy with sweat, but not something stinky from a bottle, either. Just wash each day with unscented soap and be done with it.

Obviously, you can tell that I am not a fan of cologne, or any perfume for men. Or women for that matter. I don't like fragrances on people -- just on flowers like roses. My partner and I wholeheartedly agree on that one. We purchase unscented everything (laundry detergent, soap, even air freshener) because we gag on artificial smells.

I know, I know... some men wear fragrances sometimes. Usually after-shave, but sometimes even perfume. But really, the name "Boot Daddy?" Like, "who's your Daddy?" Sorry, ain't gonna fly with me. As I said, the naming of this product just set me off on guffaws of laughter.

Life is short: men should smell like men, not something out of a bottle -- even if the label on the bottle has "boots" on it! LOL!

I Clean Up Well

2011-11-15T04:00:00.012-05:00

I truly enjoy public speaking. It is as much of an art as a science, getting important points out, emphasizing information that is critical to the audience, while making adjustments on the fly as needed based on a reading of the audience's information needs and interests.

Travel for events like this once was common for me to do -- 70 or so times each year to some 50 or so cities and towns across America. These days, I don't travel nearly as much as I once did, which actually I appreciate since traveling 35 weeks/year was grueling.

I am in Las Vegas, Nevada. I spoke at a major conference plenary session for some 3,000 people. Whew! Largest audience I have had in a long, long time. They were attentive and interested. I got a lot of very good questions at the end, with many follow-ups individually afterwords.

You can't see it, but I am wearing a pair of Lucchese goatskin dress cowboy boots. Very comfortable and good-looking and go well with a suit. While I am not fond of the suit-and-tie situation, it's a requirement. So I say, "I clean up well" LOL!

I am pleased that at least it is quiet in my hotel room. Last time I was here, I got physically sick because I couldn't get any sleep for all the drunks slamming doors and wandering down the hall talking loudly. When I checked in for this conference, I made it clear that I wanted a quiet room, and fortunately, was accommodated.

I've been busy from daybreak to long after sunset, with various meetings, discussions with colleagues, and greeting people I have known for many, many years. I'm not the late-night party and socializing sort, nor do I gamble in the casino. Nonetheless, there is plenty to keep me busy-busy-busy!

One more full day of conferencing, then I'm outta here. But I'm glad what brought me here went well. I look forward, though, to return to the arms of my man back home.

Life is short: love what you do!

What "Woof" Means

2011-11-13T04:00:00.013-05:00

The following photos are of my partner. These photos demonstrate what, in my opinion, is what "woof" means when one guy says it to another.

My partner is wearing a new pair of Mr. S leather jeans that he wanted and with which I presented him on his birthday yesterday. These jeans fit him perfectly. Woofity-woof-woof!

Photos posted with permission (smile)...

And just in case you landed on this blog honestly searching for what "woof" means, then I'll answer, seriously -- it is a call or a shout that one gay man says to another when he finds that other guy attractive. Usually the term is used in the leather or bear community, and is used toward masculine-looking guys.

Life is short: show those you love how you love them.

Milestone Birthday

2011-11-12T04:00:00.004-05:00

Today is a milestone birthday for my beloved partner. I will be devoting the entire day to bringing joy to his life, and showing him how much I love him. I have a few tricks up my sleeve...

I will begin the morning with our usual routine of a slow-wake, warm snuggle, then give him a soothing massage.

I will prepare his favourite breakfast, home-made waffles (cialda), sausage, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. No coffee -- neither he nor I drink the stuff.

I will distract him after breakfast, but be there to witness the fun when a hunky dude in a cop uniform comes by to bring him a lemon meringue pie. I arranged with a friend who is a professional singer and dancer to dress as a cop (including wearing a pair of my Dehner boots) and come over to "entertain" my partner by presenting him with a song, dance, and his absolute favorite sweet for his birthday, a lemon meringue pie. I baked the pie yesterday and snuck it over to my friend's house, so he will bring it back to us through what I anticipate to be a very creative delivery method! LOL!

My partner wants me to take him to lunch at a new restaurant in the heart of Snoburbia -- the western part of the county where we live. Sure... whatever he wants. It's his special day!

I am trying not to overload his birthday, but I would not be surprised if some of my closest friends and siblings came by to wish him a happy birthday. We are not having a party -- my partner hates noise, crowds, parties, and confusion. While I thrive on that kind of thing, my partner doesn't. Since it is his special day, I have made it very clear with all potential visitors that we're keeping it "low key."

I will prepare a special meal for dinner that my partner requested -- butcher-cut Angus beef steaks on the grill, with home-made potato wedges, green beans, and a side salad. Water to drink (we don't drink alcohol, either), and after dinner, the lemon meringue pie.

After dinner, I plan to bring my partner into our basement media/leisure room, turn on some music that he likes, hold his hand, look deeply into his eyes, and...

Life is short: show those you love how you love them.

Heroes

2011-11-11T04:00:00.025-05:00

Today, November 11, is known as Veteran's Day in the U.S., Remembrance Day in Canada and the Commonwealth Nations, and Armistice Day in other countries. It recognizes the cessation of hostilities on the Western Front of World War I, which took effect at eleven o'clock in the morning—the "eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month" of 1918.

Today is a holiday, and in the U.S., it is used to recognize veterans of military service. I also use it as a day to recognize the heroes in my life, who protect and serve me, my neighbors, and residents of the community, county, state, and country where I live.

My heroes are...

... many who have served or currently serve with honor:

My father, who served valiantly in World War II in the U.S. Army in the European Theater.

My mother, who braved the home front. At the time my Dad was serving in the U.S. Army during WWII, she was raising five children. My mother has even more "hero honors" for raising 15 children in total, particularly as difficult as it was after my father died when I was 12 years old.

Nine uncles who also served in World War II. Thankfully, they all survived and returned home.

Four brothers who served in the U.S. Navy, Marines, Army, and Air Force, respectively.

My twin brother, J, who served our country with honor and distinction for 30 years.

Dozens of cousins who have also served in the U.S. Armed Forces, including two cousins serving in Afghanistan today. May they also return home safely to their wives and children.

One of my best friends who is a leader in our county's Fire Department, and with whom I work closely on life-safety issues to keep our community and its residents -- particularly seniors -- safe.

Two cops with whom I serve on a community task force to deal with alternatives to gangs and gang violence and malicious destruction.

My partner, who in my eyes is a hero in how he cares for his aging mother, and me, too. What a trooper!

Many more, unnammed and not yet met, who through their public service, make our lives better, brighter, and safer each and every day.

I give a salute to my heroes, and to all who give their best to do their duty to serve, protect, and defend the freedoms we enjoy. Freedom isn't free, and the costs paid to protect our freedoms are dear. Bless you for your service.

Life is short: pay tribute to those who have served or are serving through selfless spirit, commitment, and dedication.

Cities with the Most Masculine Gay Men

2011-11-10T04:00:00.016-05:00

This was an interesting search that landed a visitor from South Carolina on this blog, "Cities with the most masculine gay men."

I do not know if any city in the United States, or the world for that matter, has more masculine gay men in it than any other. Honestly, I do not think masculine gay men use sexual orientation and masculine behavior preference to choose the location where they will live.

Study after study shows that people choose to live in places with which they are familiar, such as where they grew up, went to school, and/or have family. In my case, it's all three (I live where I grew up and near where I went to school, including my undergraduate university. It's also great to have family nearby, too.)

While some people relocate to a new town for a job or an adventure, demographic studies show that most people choose the familiar, though economics causes people to choose places to live where they can find a job. For example, I have a fondness for a small town in Oklahoma where I spent a lot of time as a kid and where my mother's family is from, but the place is dead -- no jobs to speak of on my level of expectations and experience. I wouldn't live there.

I know some gay men choose to live in states or cities within those states that are gay-friendly, or at least "gay-tolerant." As I have mentioned before on this blog, there are some U.S. states that are downright hateful toward same-sex couples, such as my neighboring state of Virginia. But the choice of where a gay person will live has nothing to do with masculinity. It has to do with his interest in living openly among his neighbors and not having state laws discriminate against him (and his partner if he's in such a relationship) compared with states like Virginia that have many laws that directly discriminate against gay people.

Recognizing that masculine gay men have the same responsibilities as any other man, gay or straight -- then he may choose out of necessity to live closer to parents or elder loved-ones -- because he has become the primary caregiver. So many adult children these days are making difficult choices about where they live so they can be closer to aging relatives in order to care for them. This is another reason, therefore, that masculine gay men may be living anywhere -- choices made by other factors important to him and his values.

I have said before that masculine gay men are secure in themselves that they do not feel a need to associate in "gay-only" social circles. They have a lot of straight friends and they engage in activities with a mixed crowd -- playing or watching sports, riding motorcycles, hunting, fishing, attending birthday parties or other social functions.

Because of that, you will not see many masculine gay men at traditional "gay hangouts," such as gay restaurants and bars found in the major cities. Most masculine gay men are not interested in going to those places, because (if they're like me), they prefer to mix with a wider circle whose friendships are based on common interests, not sexual orientation. If he does go to a restaurant or bar, you'll more likely find him at the neighborhood sports pub than downtown in the city gay bar.

I do not think any particular city or town is more or less attractive to a masculine gay man than any other. He will choose where to live based on other, more important needs -- availability of affordable housing; proximity to work, family, and friends; and activities that are interesting to him to do.

These days, as well, I should recognize that the working world is changing rapidly. There are many jobs that are "relocatable" or can be done from any location that has access to the Internet. I know of several masculine gay men who have chosen to live in rural areas, avoiding city life altogether. It's a choice made more available today and will be more the norm in the future.

Life is short: masculine gay men live everywhere. Read this post for more about masculine gay men.

Christmas Before Thanksgiving?

2011-11-09T04:00:00.004-05:00

I so much agree with this cartoon that I "stole" from a friend who posted it on Facebook. Whatever happened to recognizing and sharing autumn holidays like Halloween and (U.S.) Thanksgiving?

Man, I'm really "old school." I do not want to see Christmas displays in stores until the day after Thanksgiving... like it used to be, back in the "olden days" of my youth. I remember my very first job, working as a helper in a camera store after school when I was in high school. On the Friday after Thanksgiving, the store would open a couple hours later than usual to give the store employees time to install holiday displays in windows, put up a small artificial Christmas tree, and place signs around the store for holiday specials.

Not these days... stores are opening on "Black Friday" at midnight, and the stores have been decorated since late August. I hate it. I really do. I detest all the promotions and mass marketing for a retail Christmas. Sheesh... it's all about the money, isn't it? Blecch.

You won't find me rushing out at midnight on Thanksgiving night/Friday morning to "get deals." I completed my Christmas shopping back in July. Yeah, I admit -- almost all of my shopping was done on-line, except for buying the greeting cards for seniors that I assemble in monthly organizers for some special pals on my list.

While stores are all out marketing for Christmas, my partner and I are preparing for our annual Thanksgiving pot-luck bash for seniors that we do every year. It's so much fun, and time well-spent with terrific friends who we care for, and who care for us.

We have been organizing for that party now for about a month, and have received over 85 RSVPs, including some special high-level elected officials who will drop by and share cheer. Can't wait -- for Thanksgiving! Not Christmas (yet!)

Life is short: celebrate holidays at the right time, and avoid media mass merchandising.

When a Stroke Isn't a Stroke

2011-11-08T04:00:00.038-05:00

Sunday, my partner and I were tending to routine fall outdoor cleanup chores when he suddenly complained of being very dizzy and became nauseous. His speech was slurred and one eye was dilated while the other was not.

I kept my calm, but seriously thought he was having a stroke.

He was complaining about being very cold and he began to shiver uncontrollably. I half-carried, half-pushed him inside our basement, lay him on a sofa, threw blankets on him, then called 9-1-1.

The response from our well-trained, kind, and professional Fire/EMS Department was swift. I met them at our driveway and hustled with them to our rear door. The medics evaluated my partner, took his vitals, and seemed to agree with my initial worry that my partner could be having a stroke. He was rushed to the hospital and I followed, anxious and concerned.

When I arrived in the Emergency Room, they brought me into the room where my partner was. He was attended quickly, because if he had a stroke, every second counts. If they can catch a stroke and administer drugs within the first hour of it happening, the chances of his having brain damage and long-term effects from it would be minimized.

Fortunately, someone at the hospital called my sister for me, and she rallied the others, and within an hour, the family vigil-watch was ongoing in the waiting room. Over a dozen of my siblings, nieces, and nephews came, and many more called (of course, I left my cell phone at home -- last thing I thought to have with me when raking the leaves, and thus didn't have it when I got into my truck to follow the ambulance to the hospital.)

I was on pins-and-needles all day. Test after test, doc after doc, with little bits of news being shared with me by various professionals, which I would share with the family who were with us.

The hospital and medical professionals were very good, and they treated me as his spouse, without question or reservation. I never even had to bring up the fact that we have a copy of our respective full powers of attorney on file at that hospital. (Perhaps they found it in his record, as so many more things are automated these days, and he has been treated at this hospital before.)

Anyway, after an MRI, X-rays, blood tests, and a psych test, the diagnosis was that this "spell" was "benign paroxysmal positional vertigo" which was likely the result of the brain surgery that he had a couple months ago.

My partner and I sure are glad that it wasn't a stroke. We are thankful to be living in an area that has superb, well-trained, tax-supported first responders who came immediately when I called, and talented professionals in our local hospital to treated my partner so well.

We are also glad to be living in Maryland where our relationship is not an issue for those who respond to these types of serious medical needs. If we lived in Virginia, the state just south of us, I would be treated as a stranger and prevented from being with my partner and by his side during his most anxious moments without having to put up a big fight. At least I didn't have to worry about that.

On Monday, my partner rested at home while I teleworked (worked from home.) He slept late, ate well, and looked good. I think this was a transient episode, but we will follow up with my partner's neurosurgeon when we can see him.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

What Masculine Gay Men Find Attractive

2011-11-07T04:00:00.004-05:00

A search appeared on my blog reading (sic): what masculine gay men find attractive?"

I found that very interesting, and a different take on the usual search for where to find masculine gay men.

So, as a masculine gay man, let me describe what I find attractive in a masculine gay man:

He is secure, confident, and comfortable in his own skin. He doesn't worry about what other people think or may say about what he wears or what he does.

He doesn't worry about the latest fashion or what's in style. He wears what's functional and what works for him, based on where he is going and what he is doing. Anything from a business suit to blue jeans, from sneakers to boots (and he doesn't wear sandals or flip-flops).

He communicates well, but doesn't try to be the center of the universe or the conversation. That is, an attractive masculine gay man does not have a "need" to be an alpha male, or an "A-Gay". He deliberately avoids those roles.

Physical characteristics that are attractive to other men vary. Some like guys with facial hair, and some do not. Guys who are fit and trim are more attractive to others, as well. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but an attractive masculine man will have physical characteristics that work for him, and with which he is comfortable.

Many masculine gay men have said that they are attracted to other masculine gay men who do not feel as if they must socialize only with gay men. Masculine gay men prefer to socialize with the wider world.

Masculine gay men are capable, active, and "do-ers." They can do various things from repairing a car, riding a motorcycle, or playing sports, to activities like watching the game with the guys, being a good uncle, or to volunteering at a community organization or church.

Masculine characteristics vary, just as people vary. Some guys have more observable physical characteristics of "maleness" than others. A masculine man is secure and confident, capable, active, and independent. A masculine gay man behaves that way as well. What masculine gay men find attractive, therefore, is someone who behaves like he does.

BTW, I am deliberately leaving out much of the stereotyping of gay men in general. Let's suffice it to say that all gay men are not the same. Some behave in a more effeminate manner while others do not. Just like in the straight world: women are different. Not all guys like all women. Same is true in the gay world: gay men are different. Not all gay guys like all other gay guys. Our world is that much better for the variances of the diversity of our population.

Life is short: remember that everyone is different, and some characteristics that some people display are more attractive to some people than others.

Why Would a Gay Man Wear Cowboy Boots?

2011-11-06T03:00:00.013-05:00

Yes, another lovely internet search landed a visitor to this blog, with the query: "why would a gay man wear cowboy boots?"

Man, I have blogged about this a lot, but in this post I will avoid jumping to conclusions about implied stereotypes and answer it seriously.

Why would a gay man wear cowboy boots?
If he's like me, he likes the style, fit, and comfort.

He may like that cowboy boots are attractive, and offer a different style from the typical bland and boring black or brown dress shoes or sneakers.

He may like the fact that cowboy boots can be made from different types of skins besides leather -- snake, lizard, ostrich, alligator, and so forth. Classy and distinctive styles of boots make a great appearance.

He may like the fact that cowboy boots have a higher heel than traditional shoes or sneakers, so he appears a bit taller, which can help some guys who lack confidence.

He may like how they sound when he walks. A distinctive "boot clunk" is music to some guys' ears.

He may like that other people notice. Straight guys wear cowboy boots to attract women. Gay guys wear cowboy boots to attract a certain kind of man -- often, a confident, secure, masculine man. If that's the type of man a gay guy is looking for, then he wouldn't be caught dead wearing flip-flops, sandals, or crocs.

He may be a non-conformist -- I sure am. I hate dress shoes, and do not own any and will not wear them. Yuck. But that is my personal opinion.

Why would a gay man wear cowboy boots? The ultimate answer: WHY NOT?

Life is short: wear cowboy boots to work, in daily life, and anywhere other than while riding a motorcycle. In that case, wear motorcycle boots.

What Do Gay Guys Wear Under Jeans?

2011-11-05T04:00:00.002-04:00

Here's another internet search that landed a visitor on my website. "What do gay guys wear under jeans?"

Answer: underwear. Yep, us gay guys wear underwear like anyone else.

Boxers or briefs? Answer: yes.

Life is short: ubi sub sub ubi. (An expression in Latin for "always wear underwear" LOL!)

Hilarious Internet Search

2011-11-04T04:00:00.004-04:00

Readers of my blog know that I look at how people find this blog, and I often comment on some of the more interesting search results -- some of them are serious, and some are downright silly. Here is an example of the latter:

Yep, you read it right -- the inquiry was, "how many pairs of jeans does a cow make?

I just about died laughing when I read this. Man, I wish we could train cows to make clothing. Just think about it, if we could train cows to make boots from their hides, we could cut out a lot of the middlemen. LOL!

I dunno -- how many pairs of jeans can a cow make? I guess it depends on how well the cow is trained.

Okay, okay, perhaps the inquiry was more serious, but left out a word. "How many pairs of leather jeans can be made from one cow?" -- perhaps that was the real question. That answer: it varies. One large hide from a side of a cow can be used to make a pair of jeans, with pieces left over for other, smaller garments. But I do not know for certain. I have not learned enough about the process to obtain hides from cows to make leather gear.

Life is short: wear leather, whether garments from it are made by cows or their trained people.

Hol(e)y Leather!

2011-11-03T04:00:00.005-04:00

They always say to look for sales in the off-season. Such advice led me to find a sale on a pair of perforated leather jeans that go well with a perforated leather shirt (photo left) that I bought via eBay from NCBootdude in early 2011. I bought a pair of perforated leather jeans from CJ's Leather in Denver, Colorado in September and received them, custom tailored to my size, in October.

What is perforated leather?

It is just what it sounds like -- a leather garment that has small holes in it. The holes are in a pattern, spaced evenly, and not located anywhere near stress points so the garment will not tear during normal use (and the stretching stresses sometimes placed upon a garment when operating a motorcycle.)

When worn without underclothing (except briefs), air will blow through as you ride down the road, keep you cool on a warm day, and keep the sun from causing a sunburn, as well. At least that is how my perforated leather shirt performed this past riding season. I will have to wait until next May (or later) to see how the new perforated leather jeans feel.

Unfortunately, late autumn has already brought our first frost and some wet flakes of snow; not really suitable for trying out the perforated leather jeans outdoors (LOL!) I will, instead, be wearing warmer, thicker, leathers as I continue to ride through the autumn and winter, weather permitting.

If you're interested, check out CJ's Leather in Denver, Colorado. While CJ's has a limited number of leather items, what they make is very good. Among the fetish leather vendors out there, they are among the most reasonable in pricing for quality custom gear.

Life is short: wear leather every day all-year through!

Dehner Boots Go To Work on the Harley

2011-11-02T04:00:00.029-04:00

When I woke yesterday morning at 4am, I felt chilled. I reached for the remote control to adjust the thermostat for more heat while snuggling closer to my partner for one last warm embrace. Dayum! It felt like winter. I'm not ready for it. Not ready at all.

There was a prediction the night before for some rain. I thought, then, that with wet roads and cold temperatures, that riding my Harley to work would not be an option.

We threw off the covers and went about our morning routine. As I dressed, I pulled on a pair of cowboy boots to wear with my dress clothes to work.

I stepped outside to retrieve the morning newspaper, and thought, "hmmm, it doesn't feel that cold. It didn't rain after all!" I went back inside and checked the thermometer. It was 43°F (6°C) -- above my riding threshold. Change of plans for the vehicle to use to drive to work -- the Harley! "Switch to motorcycle boots" was my immediate thought.

I went back to my bedroom, pulled the cowboy boots off, and as I was putting them away, I saw my tall, Vibram lug-soled Bal-Laced Dehner boots in the closet and said to myself, "sure, they will be perfect!" I pulled my socks up over the ends of my pants, then pulled the Dehners on over my pants. Comfortable! Great traction! Terrific feel!

I went downstairs to the kitchen. I handed my partner the lunch that I made for him, wished him a great day, and kissed him goodbye as he ran out the door to get to the Metro for his job in the city.

I got my lunch and other stuff that I needed to bring with me to work and went into the garage to get the bike ready to ride. I pulled out my truck and rolled the Harley out. After my usual T-clocs safety check, I donned my thick leather chaps, warm biker jacket, put on my full-face helmet, warm gloves, and off I went.

Okay, some of you may be wondering, "did he really wear his pants tucked into his Dehner boots around the office?" While I did tuck my pants into my boots before taking off on my ride, I did that in order to keep the pants clean. Somehow, road crap tends fly around and make my pants dirty, even if covered with chaps. However, when I parked the Harley and took off my chaps, I pulled my pants out of my boots and pulled the ends of my pants down over the boots. That way, my boots look much like laced dress shoes, and unless I sit across from someone and cross my legs, no one is the wiser.

It is possible, therefore, to wear Dehner boots at a typical business office with dress clothes and not have the boots be noticed (as an ostentatious display.)

Sorry for no photo -- I tried taking one with my cell phone, but I could not download it directly into my computer due to some technical problem which I do not have the time to figure out, and I am not about to pay the carrier's exorbitant fees to send photos to myself. (I will not pay for a data plan or a per-usage fee.)

Life is short: wear tall boots to work!

Boots and Suits Reprise

2011-11-01T04:00:00.008-04:00

A recent internet search on this question [sic], "can u wear cowboy boots with a bussiness suit?" directed a visitor to my "How to Wear Cowboy Boots" page on my website.

Well, yes, a guy can wear cowboy boots with a business suit. No problem.

But whoever searched this question needs to learn how to write and how to spell. Oh well, with so many people texting these days and using abbreviations, I can understand (though I still dislike) using the letter "u" to represent the word "you." However, if the guy can't spell "business," then he should just go back to wearing his boots with his jeans and return to school.

Life is short: lern hw 2 spel n compleet sentensses (nd uz apostrophe's rite. Employerrs notis itt.)

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T04:00:00.001-04:00

Happy Halloween to my blog visitors. This is an odd American holiday, marked by story-telling, tales of ghosts and goblins, and children dressing in a costume and going door-to-door in the evening to collect candy by yelling "trick or treat!" (Either you give them a treat or they play a trick on you).

Many adults enjoy doing something for Halloween as well. Some dress up in costumes and attend parties, usually held the weekend before October 31. From the number of visitors to this blog, many are curious and interested in dressing as a cop.

This year, my partner being the usual recluse that he is, did not want to go to a party on the weekend. Two of my friends invited us to attend an adult party, but ... nahhh... Partner didn't want to go and be around people. He hates that. I did not go anywhere not only because my partner did not want to go, but I also cannot stay awake past 9pm. I'm the party-pooper in this case.

We were invited to a family get-together yesterday afternoon, where the kiddos were dressed in their Halloween costumes and us uncles (and aunts) brought candy. I went (my partner didn't -- again, noisy kids are not his choice). We were encouraged to wear a costume, too. I went as a "biker dude." Simple enough to construct an authentic costume without going to a lot of trouble and expense. I was thinking about riding my Harley to get there, but was reminded that the mild storm that occurred on Saturday brought down a lot of leaves which remained wet (and slick) on the roads. I didn't want to run the risk of riding on wet leaves, so I drove my truck.

Tonight, I will continue the theme, dressed as "biker", when neighborhood kids come to our door and I distribute candy to them. Then we turn out the lights precisely at 9:00pm and go to bed. If kids can't complete their rounds before 9pm, they're probably up to no good anyway.

Happy Halloween!

Life is short: go with the flow.

Applying "Shoe Rules" to Boots

2011-10-30T04:00:00.012-04:00

Sometimes I am annoyed when I read these on-line "style guides" whose authors have made some statements that are derogatory about wearing boots in particular situations, such as in a business settings. Oh well, their loss; some of them just don't get it.

Anyway, I found a silly "25 Shoe Rules" on the about.com website, and thought I would offer a Bootman's perspective. Below, the "shoe rule" is in regular type. My suggested "Bootman's Rules" are in italics below each "shoe rule". Enjoy!

1. Your shoes should be darker than your pants.
Your boots should be darker than your pants if wearing dress pants. Otherwise, boots that contrast with jeans look great!

2. Your shoes should be the most expensive part of your wardrobe.
Your boots should be the most expensive part of your wardrobe.

3. No socks with sandals.
Men should not wear sandals. Period. Nobody wants to see your feet. Nobody.

4. Buy new flip-flops each summer.
Never buy or wear flip-flops for any reason. They are unsanitary, unsightly, and just plain wrong on so many levels for adult men.

5. Be careful when wearing sneakers with khakis, you run the risk of looking older than you are.
Wear boots with khakis for an interesting appearance of style and fashion.

6. Your socks should be a nice bridge between your shoes and your pants.
When you wear boots, no one will see your socks. But always wear comfortable socks that are part wool, part cotton, and part synthetic, to have the advantages that these materials offer (absorption of sweat, comfort, and durability).

7. Your dress shoes should always be shined and looking good.
Your dress boots should always be shined and looking good.

8. The darker your suit, the darker your shoes.
The darker your suit, the darker your boots.

9. No flip-flops at work. Unless you work at a surf shop.
No flip-flops, period. See revised rule #4.

10. Match your socks to your shoes.
This is repetitive. See revised rule #6.

11. Know how to shine your shoes, and if you can't do it, find a professional shoe shiner. You'll get great looking shoes and an interesting conversation.
Know how to shine your boots, and if you can't do it, find a professional shoe shiner. It will probably cost a bit more to have boots professionally shined, but you WILL have a great conversation (as those guys rarely have the chance to shine men's boots).

12. Always spend money on shoes rather than shirts or pants.
Always spend money on boots rather than shoes, shirts, or pants.

13. Loafers go with just about anything.
Repeat after me: loafers are what you find sitting on the couch. Boots are what you find on your feet.

14. When in doubt, go conservative over edgy.
When in doubt (about wearing boots), go conservative, but stop obsessing about what other people think. Wear boots!

15. Always choose fit over style.
For boots, always choose fit over style, even if that means having boots made custom to your size requirements.

16. Cowboy boots don't work with suits. Unless you are a real, honest to God cowboy.
This is bullshit stereotyping. Cowboy boots DO work well with a suit, regardless of your employment. Get over the self-imposed fear and learn that dress cowboy boots go quite well with suits! (proof here).

17. Be fitted for running shoes if you're going to push yourself.
Be fitted for tactical boots if you're going to push yourself.

18. Wingtips are cool again.
Wingtip boots are cool again.

19. Make sure you have one great pair of boots.
Make sure you have at least two great pairs of boots so you can let your boots breathe between wearings. As you obtain more pairs of boots, you can donate your shoes to charity.

20. Your shoes should match your belt.
Your dress boots should match your belt.

21. Replace your workout shoes at least every six months.
Replace your tactical workout boots at least once a year (boots last longer than sneakers.)

22. Don't wear sandals if you have gross feet.
Don't wear sandals at all. See revised rule #3.

23. Buy a nice pair of brown oxfords, they go with almost anything.
Buy a nice pair of brown dress cowboy boots to alternate wearing with your black dress cowboy boots. They go with almost anything.

24. Splurge once a year on that pair of shoes you really want.
Splurge once a year on that pair of boots you really want.

25. Try out the new athletic shoe trends before training with them.
Just cut to the chase, and buy tactical boots to wear if you will be engaging in sports or running.

So, there you have it -- a Bootman's take on silly "style rules for shoes."

Life is short: wear boots! Dump the shoes and never, ever, wear sandals or flip-flops.

Decision-Making for a Motorcycle Ride

2011-10-29T04:00:00.036-04:00

As my regular blog followers know, I ride a Harley. One may think that given the opportunity, I would be out there riding all day, every day.

Well, not quite. While I ride during the week to commute to work, that's about all the riding I can do during the week due to time constraints. During the summer after work, I may ride my Harley to get to a meeting, but if I do not have a specific place to go, then the Harley remains in the garage and I stay home.

That leaves weekends. My motorcycle club offers a lot of rides from which to choose every weekend. But then again, my partner "offers" a number of activities that also have to be done to maintain our home and the rental properties that I own. My senior pals need some attention, too. Such is life with competing demands on one's time.

Fortunately, the rides that my club offers are scheduled far in advance, so if there is a ride that I want to go on, I can negotiate the time for the ride and get time off from my partner's never-ending list of "honey-do" projects when I know a date certain.

As I consider rides to go on, I think about the following factors:

* Where is the ride going? -- I enjoy discovering new places that I have not visited before, or riding on new-to-me roads.

* How long will the ride be? -- an estimate of the distance and time of the rides from which I have to choose is provided. If the ride is scheduled for the whole day, then I usually cannot go. I have a lot of things that have to be done crammed into a tight weekend and cannot spare a whole day and leave my partner at home (who will do lots of work while I'm away, making me feel guilty that I was not there to help him.)

* Is it an overnight ride? -- as I have mentioned before, I do not go on overnight rides. The guys like to sit around and drink after dinner. I don't drink alcohol, and though I don't mind if others do, what I do mind is that their tongues get loose when they get intoxicated, and they say things about gay people or about women that I just don't want to be subjected to hearing. So I avoid being in such a situation.

* What distance will the ride cover? -- distance is a major issue for me. Rides over about 200 miles are out. I have a physical condition that tires me faster than the average bear. Riding when tired is unsafe. I will not put myself in that situation.

* What is the purpose of the ride? -- is it a casual ride on back roads and byways, a ride to support a police or fire charity or memorial, or is it a poker run sponsored by another club? I like the casual back roads rides, and have supported more than my share of memorial and charity events. But I don't like poker runs and will not go on them.

* Who is leading the ride? -- every ride leader brings his or her personality to the ride. A ride leader known to "ride aggressively" is not someone who I want to ride with. I don't have any fun trying to keep up all the time. I realize that my riding skills are not the same as others, so I want to "ride my own ride" -- relaxed, casual, and unhurried. I will not go on a ride with someone who I know to ride too fast for my liking.

* What roads may be involved? -- I have learned my lesson. I will not (deliberately) ride on roads that are unpaved, covered with gravel, or that involve stream crossings over fords. I also will not go on rides where I know there will be turns that are too tight and impossible for me to handle. (Believe me, I know my limits!)

* Safety factor -- implied in the above considerations is how safe I think I will be on a ride. That's based on my health, the road conditions, and what I know about the ride leader's attention to safety.

* What's the weather? -- always a last-minute decision, but if I want to enjoy a nice, casual ride, I want to do it when the roads are dry and preferably when it is sunny. I won't go if the roads are wet or if it is raining or rain is predicted. I also have my low-temperature threshold. I will not ride when it is lower than about 40°F (4.5°C). That's about as cold as I can take it, despite all my leathers and gear.

So there you have it -- how I, personally, choose to go on an organized motorcycle ride (or not.) Every biker is different. Some have more time, some have better skills, some don't have a non-riding other-half with a long honey-do list. Most of all, the motto is, "ride and have fun." If I think the fun would be limited for me on a ride due to its purpose, destination, choice of roads, ride leader, or the weather, then I may go for a short ride by myself, or stay home and tackle the honey-do list.

Life is short: make your choices.

Stunning Photo of My Brother

2011-10-28T04:00:00.014-04:00

My twin brother, J, sent me this photo that his wife took of him on their recent extended second honeymoon throughout Europe during September. No, my brother is not about to walk into the Mediterranean from an island off the coast of Greece, but it looks like that.

Isn't the setting gorgeous? What a stunning photo! My sister-in-law has quite the eye for photography!

Life is short: celebrate joy and happiness with family!

Unto Every Biker's Life Falls Some Rain

2011-10-27T04:00:00.012-04:00

I work with a bunch of meteorologists. You know something is wrong when they say, "oops, seems that 'they' got the forecast wrong." Yep, despite a forecast of rain later in the evening yesterday, it began to rain hours before I was scheduled to leave the office -- on my Harley -- for my commute home. Yuck. I hate riding in the rain.

Fortunately, traffic was rather light and people were behaving. That is, I kept a good distance between me and the vehicle in front of me, and no one cut me off. Thank goodness.

I rode steadily. I had plenty of stopping distance for traffic lights. I applied the brakes slowly and evenly when I had to stop.

I came up behind a cop along my way, and began to follow him. He saw me, and drove steadily and slowly such that I could follow safely. He went almost completely on the route to my home, so I felt safe.

I was wearing good, solid boots with lug soles (Wesco Motor Patrol Boots), so I had good traction. The boots resisted road spray so my feet and legs did not get wet. I wore thick leather chaps and a solid leather jacket, with my full-face helmet. I didn't get wet, though my bike sure will need a good cleaning after the rain and road splatter dries.

Oh well... weather is not as predictable as one may think -- even meteorologists get it wrong sometimes. And reading the commentary on my Facebook posting about this situation (from a bunch of meteorologists and allied professionals) is hysterical.

Life is short: ride safe!

Three Things Bikers Expect

2011-10-26T04:00:00.017-04:00

I ride my Harley as often as I can, which includes my short commute to work on busy suburban roadways.

There are three things that other drivers do that could kill me if I were not prepared for their thoughtlessness:

1. Three lanes of traffic, riding in the middle lane. A bus is up ahead in the right lane. People keep driving along but as soon as they see the bus slowing down to make a stop, they dart into the middle lane without looking. Some may say that they scan their rearview mirrors, and they might just "scan" but they don't really look. So yesterday, like many other days, I avoided getting clobbered by a nim-nose-ninny by expecting him or her to cut me off. Without fail, they will.

2. People yapping on their cell phones while driving. Despite that behavior being against the law in my state and many others, in their minds, the law applies only to other people. You can often tell who is doing that, because they drive 10mph below the speed limit. Then they react suddenly, or may swerve into another lane (my lane) when they discover that another car is in their way or traffic is slowing for a light or whatever....

Please, hang up and drive! Do not talk on a cell phone while driving. Even if you have a hands-free device, you are still distracted and your driving abilities suffer -- and sometimes us bikers "suffer" the consequences. Turn off your cell phone while driving a vehicle. Honestly, you are not that important, and neither is that call!

3. Animals. Yep, particularly this time of year, it is quite common in the early morning for herds of deer to be along the side of the road. They see your headlight, and you think, "they realize it is a vehicle so they will stay away." Not so. Just yesterday morning, like many mornings, a deer darts into the road, followed by the remainder of the herd. Those animals are dangerous, and won't watch for you so you have to be extra alert to watch for them and be prepared to stop or take evasive maneuvers.

I don't know which is worse -- the four-legged or the two-legged animals that make driving hazardous. I just wish the two-legged variety would pay attention -- completely -- to their driving while operating a 5,000-lb death machine on the road.

Hang up and drive. Really use your mirrors. While your taxes pay for the road so you own it, my taxes do too, and I have as much of a right to use the road safely as you do.

Rant over.

Life is short: pay attention!

Bates Patrol Boots

2011-10-25T04:00:00.005-04:00

I was the lucky winner of an eBay auction a couple weeks ago, and scored, rather inexpensively, a new-to-me pair of Bates Patrol Boots.

I have not seen any cops wearing this particular brand of boots in a long time, so I figure that this style of (tall patrol) boots haven't been made for several years. I visited the Bates website, and found that this style of tall patrol boots is not made any more. They only make short tactical and military boots these days. Further internet searching indicates that Bates was bought by the same company that makes boots under the Wolverine brand in China... so there goes another quality bootmaker down the drain.

But I digress.... These Bates patrol boots are similar in construction to Chippewa Motor Patrol Boots. That is both a good and bad thing. The boots are made of all leather, which is good. However, the leather is rather thin. I estimate the leather is of 4 to 5oz weight. Perhaps that makes a lighter-weight boot, but it also poses some problems with durability and creasing with wear. (Notice in the photos how the boots are crinkled -- and they should not be that way when worn with motor breeches.)

The boots have a bal-laced instep. They also have lacing on the outside of each boot shaft to adjust the fit. A different feature of these boots is a leather-covered expansion band found at the top of the inside of each boot shaft.

What I dislike most about these boots is that they have a seam both down the middle of the front as well as the back of the boot shaft. To me, that seam is both unnecessary and unsightly. The boots also have a cheap nitrile rubber sole, so the traction offered is not all that good. Fine for a dry day, but probably not when the roads are slick with rain.

Oh well, I got these boots inexpensively. They are okay, but I can understand why Bates does not make these boots any more. They were cheap to make, and look it.

More photos of these boots are here.

Life is short: know your boots!

Catch-Up

2011-10-24T04:00:00.004-04:00

I had a very busy day yesterday catching up after returning from a week-long business trip. I did a lot of work around my house, took care of six senior pals by doing various home repairs for them, took four senior pals to the grocery store, and returned home to do more home maintenance.

With all that going on, I had no time to write a blog post. Check back tomorrow for another story on ...

Life is short: doin' whatcha gotta do!

Men's Footwear at Airports

2011-10-23T04:00:00.004-04:00

I flew home yesterday from Seattle and had to change planes in Chicago. I looked at what guys had on their feet.

I know going through security is a pain-in-the-butt; however, it is so routine now -- all you have to do is slip off your boots (or if you must wear them, shoes) and run them through the x-ray. But so many men (and youngsters in their teens and 20s) do not want to do that, so they wear the most awful crap on their feet. I saw more guys wearing flip-flops at the airport than I have seen wear those things on a beach. Ugggghhh! And it was cold, too. Wearing crappy footwear like that must be uncomfortable.

Oh well, I wore my cowboy boots, took them off before security, and got two "nice boots" comments from other guys when I was putting them back on after security. I doubt anyone looks at a guy wearing flip-flops and says, "nice feet." (LOL!)

Life is short: wear boots!

Headed Home

2011-10-22T04:00:00.002-04:00

I had a long but productive week in the Seattle area. I had a chance to speak, to lead, to facilitate, to write, and to learn. I enjoyed seeing some of my long-term colleagues and friends who have made me more of the person and professional I am.

After a rather dull day yesterday, I became energized again by meeting a friend and her partner for dinner. This friend did a lot for me. She picked me up from my conference location in Outer Slobbovia, took me to dinner at a really nice restaurant, then brought me to a hotel where she made a reservation for me. The hotel is very close to the airport, so my departure for my early flight will be simple and uncomplicated with traffic delays.

My friend and I caught up on each other's lives, then began to "talk shop." She picked my brain and I picked hers. At the end of a lively conversation about geeky stuff, my friend surprised me by saying that her boss authorized her to pay for our dinner. How nice! (Her boss is someone I also have known for a long, long time.)

I am glad to end the week on such a high note, but man, I am tired and I really miss my man. Time to head home, snuggle close, and get reacquainted with the man who means the world to me.

Life is short: enjoy life where you are and make the best of it.

Restricted to Two Pairs of Boots

2011-10-21T04:00:00.007-04:00

During my business trip this week to the Seattle area, I "only" brought two pairs of boots. I packed one pair in my luggage and wore one pair.

What boots did I bring? Lucchese cowboy boots -- dress black and brown wingtips. Both are comfortable and fairly lightweight on my feet.

However, for a Bootman like me, this "restriction" to "only" two pairs of boots for a whole week is driving me crazy. For example, I wanted to go for a long walk in the morning, but these boots aren't really suitable for hiking. The weather was nice most of the week, but began to rain later in the week, and not having Vibram soles for better traction bothered me. I do not want to risk a slip and fall caused by wearing boots with smooth leather soles.

During a short few-hour break on Thursday afternoon when I went into downtown Seattle with some colleagues to stroll around and have dinner, I wore a pair of lightweight leather jeans, and would have preferred to wear a pair of black motorcycle boots with the jeans, but ... I only had black cowboy boots so they are what I wore.

Yeah, I own many pairs of boots. My usual custom is to wear 3 - 5 pairs of boots each day, changing my boots depending on what I am doing and where I am going, and how much walking I will do, or what transportation I will use. Having "only" two pairs of boots with me while traveling does not offer me the choices of boots to wear for various activities outside of my meetings.

Oh well, I'll survive.

Such is life of a Bootman.

Life is short: wear boots!

Engaging Activities

2011-10-20T04:00:00.000-04:00

Reporting from (near) Seattle...

I am having meetings all this week at a federal agency facility north of Seattle. Kinda funny -- each time I enter the facility, my cowboy boots set off the metal detector at the door. I just turn to the guard and say, "it's the boots" and he laughs and lets me go through.

The meeting that I am engaged in facilitating is going very well. So well in fact that we're getting done earlier than anticipated. I expect that we will be "done" for the day today (Thursday) by noon-ish.

I will be picked up by a friend who is a local big-wig in my profession. We will have lunch and then she and another friend and I will go into the City of Seattle and be touristy. Unfortunately, the weather is degrading, so I expect some rain during the only time I can go play tourist. But that's okay -- it's the company that is most important.

I transfer locations to support another all-day meeting on Friday at a laboratory where research is done about hazards that can happen on U.S. coastlines. After the thrill of the conference is over, another friend (a former student of mine 25 years ago) who is a big-wig now in her own right will pick me up and take me to dinner with her partner. I will enjoy catching up with this friend who I have admired and supported for so many years.

I will stay at a hotel close to the airport so it will be quicker and easier for me to catch my very early return flight home on Saturday morning. I can't wait to return home to my man and get my life back into its usual routine.

One benefit or shall I say, consequence, of facilitating a meeting well is that I have been invited to return to speak at two more events next year back on the West Coast -- in California and Oregon. Sure... happy to help. It's what I do.

Life is short: be engaged and love what you do!

Peddlers From India Try Too

2011-10-19T04:00:00.015-04:00

Tell me what about the following commenting policy statement on this blog is so hard to understand:

All comments are reviewed prior to posting. If you do not have a Google ID or Blogger ID, you may use the Anonymous ID option, however, you must type your name with your comment. Comments without a way to know who wrote it may be rejected or deleted. Comments with embedded links to commercial websites WILL BE DELETED--NO EXCEPTIONS!

Unfortunately, about once each week, some boot or leather peddler from India attempts to leave a comment on this blog. (I also get them about once each month from Pakistan.) The comment is usually worded as a compliment, though often includes significant errors in grammar and spelling. One would think that the country of the world that has the largest English-speaking population might have people who can write coherently in the language.

I digress...

Despite my warning against it, inevitably the commenter from India includes a link back to some website offering cheaply-made, inferior boots or gear.

Delete...delete...delete... those kinds of comments are gone. Always. That is what "comments will be deleted ... without exception" means.

Here is a recent example of the source of one of those types of comments -- and how I can tell where the commenter came from:

I will not be a party to cross-promotion of junk.

Life is short: think before you act, and act responsibly.

NoBerry for an i-Nothing

2011-10-18T04:00:00.008-04:00

Have you seen the automated signatures on some people's email, that says, "sent from my Blackberry handheld" or "send via my iPhone"? Oh please, gimme a break.

I once was forced to have a Blackberry in a previous job, and I know that those devices come with software that you can use to delete that canned signature line, so you do not have to tell everyone how important you are because you can send email via a wireless device.

I have modified my email signature to close with, "sent via my NoBerry for an i-nothing." Seriously, I'm not that important.

I find that those who live where I live in Snoburbia, things like this -- having a personal Blackberry or an iPhone, and using that standard signature -- is de rigueur. However, most people who are above playing those status games and who are not out to impress others turn that automated signature off or delete it.

I find it amusing that adults play these games. Honestly, life is good out here in the quiet, disconnected Universe. Try it sometime... you'll like it!

Life is short: have a NoBerry for an i-Nothing, and enjoy saving lots of money instead of paying the monthly ransom that makes rich companies richer.

Life of a VUP

2011-10-17T04:00:00.005-04:00

I do not travel nearly as much as I once did. Back in the day with my former employer, I would travel, on average, about 150 days each year and go to about 70 cities both large and small across America. I might also have traveled once or twice a year internationally.

I would try to choose the same airline, so I could build miles and status to receive perks like early boarding and an occasional free upgrade to first class.

My travel is not nearly the same any more. I travel domestically about 5 - 8 times each year, which is a bit more than my travel was between 2005 and 2009. I have to use different airlines. Thus, I have no status on any airline and am like anyone else. When I do fly, I wait for the cattlecar placement on the plane.

Take, for example, the recent boarding experience that I had for my flight to Seattle yesterday:

Passengers who were boarded before me include active duty military and first class; 1K mileage, platinum, gold, silver, bronze, iron, steel, aluminum, tin foil; the airline's credit card holders, ransom-payment "express" payers, and holders of today's whatever-special card-of-the-day is; families with babies, disabled people, people with wide-set eyes, purple left thumbs and green feet, then everyone else.

"We are boarding by zones. Only board when your zone number is called."

Everyone queues up anyway. (But the agent enforces the "boarding by zone" rule.)

The gate agent calls, "Attention, we are now boarding Zone 2" (which by the time all other priorities are called out, it really is about Zone 90 in sequence).

Finally... That's me. I am a "very unimportant person (VUP)". This is now when VUPs board the plane.

"Sir, we have run out of middle seats in the back of the plane. Would you prefer to be strapped to the right or left wing?"

Ummm... I guess the left. I do not have it in me to be a right winger.

"Okay, sir, step out here. Good! Straps nice and tight? That's great! (Who says you're not into bondage!) It may be a little windy, but the view is excellent!"

This is a joke. This is only a joke. For the above post, this blog tested your bad joke deciphering system. This is only a joke. Actually, I got to sit on the tail...