Yep, it's that time of year again... Branch holiday gathering at a bowling alley, Division holiday breakfast, agency holiday festival, not to mention several invitations from family and friends for various gatherings... yuggghhhh. (I don't know what "yuggghhhh" really means, but it sounds descriptive of how I feel about these things.)
Will I be going to the work-related events?
Showing posts with label Job. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Job. Show all posts
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Communication is the Key
I was reading a blog post by a police officer who described whether it was good or not good to talk about the job with one's spouse, girl/boyfriend, or in my case, partner.
There is one school of thought that you should keep your job at your job and not talk about it at home. The officer's line of thinking was the opposite, and is consistent with my own. That it, he said, and I feel the same way, that "holding back what happens to you at work will eat your soul and will be the demise of the greatest reward of your personal life -- your marriage" (or in my case, all I'm allowed to call it is "my relationship" because I am prohibited from marrying the man I love. But that's another story for another time....)
Further, he said, "Too many first responders equate their whole identity in being whatever it is they are professionally. All too often, we are guilty of paying more attention to our lives at work than the one at home." He concluded that paragraph by saying, "It's like cheating on your family." That statement caused me to ponder, and agree very much with his profound insight.
While I am not a first responder, I can directly relate to what he said. I had a soaring career for almost 20 years with a respected national organization. I realize now in hindsight how "married to the job" I was. I lived and breathed that job every moment of every day. One may call that behavior "dedicated." I learned later that being so dedicated was taking me away both physically and spiritually from my best half -- my partner.
Bad things would happen on the job, and I would try to suck it up and say to myself, "I'm not going to burden him with that bullshit." But I would dwell on that crap in my mind, and it would affect my whole demeanor in how I related to my best half, my family, and my friends.
I kept rationalizing, "I have a life outside of work. I deal with work at work and can leave it there, and have a life with my partner, family, and friends outside of working hours." I was fooling myself. That was the biggest lie I ever told -- and worse, I told it to myself so much that I believed it for 20 years.
Things came to a head with a major conflict at that job in late 2004. I was so angry and frustrated with daily garbage that when I came home, I unloaded my emotions in unhealthy ways. If my partner didn't love me as much as he does, I'm sure he would have left me. But instead of fighting with me about my personal issues, he became the listener that he is and asked me questions in a gentle way to probe what exactly was going on. So I let it all out. What I had bottled up came flowing out in a torrent of yelling, screaming, and a lot of tears.
Sure, I made some mistakes and that led to this conflict at work. But my partner, being the loving, caring, man that he is, never once said that I did anything wrong. He defended me with absolute certainty that I was right and to hell with everyone else at the job who were making me so miserable. Within a week of finally opening up to him, I quit a job that was eating me alive.
My situation had gotten to the point of "my job or my life" and it was an "either-or." There was no compromise. No middle ground. My partner never threatened to leave me, but made it clear that my behavior was making me very difficult to live with. But more importantly, he pointed out what I was failing to see -- that my misery was affecting not only my mental health, but was making me that negative person that I never would want to be. He sort of held me to a mirror and said, "is this the man you want to be?"
He was so right. His intervention saved my soul, saved our relationship, and saved my sanity. Quitting a job that I thought I loved was the best thing in the world I ever could have done. And it would probably have happened sooner had I talked with him about it years earlier.
I am a fairly resilient man. I also know that my ability to bounce back to the man I want to be is absolutely dependent on communicating with the best reward of my personal life -- my partner.
I communicate a lot with many people, but there's nothing on the level of communication with your partner that is the same. Sure, my twin brother can read my mind and my senior pals are sensitive to share their wisdom. My siblings are close, listen well, and love me, "regardless." It's wonderful to be surrounded by people who "have my back." But there's nothing quite the same as your spousal-equivalent being there to listen, support, and ... as I always say,
... show those you love that you love them.
I definitely agree with Motorcop: "Communication is key." Keeping the dialogue going maintains a healthy relationship with your best half and maintains the integrity of your soul. Thanks, MC, for such a terrific and insightful blog post.
There is one school of thought that you should keep your job at your job and not talk about it at home. The officer's line of thinking was the opposite, and is consistent with my own. That it, he said, and I feel the same way, that "holding back what happens to you at work will eat your soul and will be the demise of the greatest reward of your personal life -- your marriage" (or in my case, all I'm allowed to call it is "my relationship" because I am prohibited from marrying the man I love. But that's another story for another time....)
Further, he said, "Too many first responders equate their whole identity in being whatever it is they are professionally. All too often, we are guilty of paying more attention to our lives at work than the one at home." He concluded that paragraph by saying, "It's like cheating on your family." That statement caused me to ponder, and agree very much with his profound insight.
While I am not a first responder, I can directly relate to what he said. I had a soaring career for almost 20 years with a respected national organization. I realize now in hindsight how "married to the job" I was. I lived and breathed that job every moment of every day. One may call that behavior "dedicated." I learned later that being so dedicated was taking me away both physically and spiritually from my best half -- my partner.
Bad things would happen on the job, and I would try to suck it up and say to myself, "I'm not going to burden him with that bullshit." But I would dwell on that crap in my mind, and it would affect my whole demeanor in how I related to my best half, my family, and my friends.
I kept rationalizing, "I have a life outside of work. I deal with work at work and can leave it there, and have a life with my partner, family, and friends outside of working hours." I was fooling myself. That was the biggest lie I ever told -- and worse, I told it to myself so much that I believed it for 20 years.
Things came to a head with a major conflict at that job in late 2004. I was so angry and frustrated with daily garbage that when I came home, I unloaded my emotions in unhealthy ways. If my partner didn't love me as much as he does, I'm sure he would have left me. But instead of fighting with me about my personal issues, he became the listener that he is and asked me questions in a gentle way to probe what exactly was going on. So I let it all out. What I had bottled up came flowing out in a torrent of yelling, screaming, and a lot of tears.
Sure, I made some mistakes and that led to this conflict at work. But my partner, being the loving, caring, man that he is, never once said that I did anything wrong. He defended me with absolute certainty that I was right and to hell with everyone else at the job who were making me so miserable. Within a week of finally opening up to him, I quit a job that was eating me alive.
My situation had gotten to the point of "my job or my life" and it was an "either-or." There was no compromise. No middle ground. My partner never threatened to leave me, but made it clear that my behavior was making me very difficult to live with. But more importantly, he pointed out what I was failing to see -- that my misery was affecting not only my mental health, but was making me that negative person that I never would want to be. He sort of held me to a mirror and said, "is this the man you want to be?"
He was so right. His intervention saved my soul, saved our relationship, and saved my sanity. Quitting a job that I thought I loved was the best thing in the world I ever could have done. And it would probably have happened sooner had I talked with him about it years earlier.
I am a fairly resilient man. I also know that my ability to bounce back to the man I want to be is absolutely dependent on communicating with the best reward of my personal life -- my partner.
I communicate a lot with many people, but there's nothing on the level of communication with your partner that is the same. Sure, my twin brother can read my mind and my senior pals are sensitive to share their wisdom. My siblings are close, listen well, and love me, "regardless." It's wonderful to be surrounded by people who "have my back." But there's nothing quite the same as your spousal-equivalent being there to listen, support, and ... as I always say,
... show those you love that you love them.
I definitely agree with Motorcop: "Communication is key." Keeping the dialogue going maintains a healthy relationship with your best half and maintains the integrity of your soul. Thanks, MC, for such a terrific and insightful blog post.
Friday, August 26, 2011
What I Do
Seems like New Jersey is going to be Ground Zero for the most intense effects of this storm. Having suffered severe flooding in March, and lots of rain hence, they're already saturated. It's going to be really, really bad.
I also worry about family and friends who live in the New England states (New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine) who are generally not prepared for a hurricane. Indications are that they will get socked by this one big-time.
Concerned as I am, I called my brother who was in New York City and advised him and his wife to high-tail it back home immediately. Glad I did: Amtrak has canceled train service effective Friday and for the rest of the weekend. My brother and his wife got the last of the few tickets left for a train back to DC on Thursday. They are safe with us now in our storm-prepared home (that we will not have to evacuate because it is well-built and on high ground, far inland from any bodies of water.)
This is a peek into what I do for a living: I explain this stuff so it makes sense to people and so they can prepare themselves, their loved-ones, and their communities and prevent injury, death, and lessen damage.
Just so 'ya know. This is what I do.
If you live in the areas of the U.S. that will be affected by this storm, pay attention and take steps to prepare. It will be rough. Read this and Get ready NOW! Read this to keep informed.
Life is short: be prepared.
Friday, April 29, 2011
The Juggling Act
Man, this week has been nuts. Believe it or not, I am still recovering from jet lag from my trip to Alaska last week. Either that, or I'm reacting to tree pollen which is extremely high this time of year. The trees in our backyard forest were slow to leaf out this year due to a damp, cool Spring. But this week it has warmed up quite a bit, and the trees have "popped" with lots and lots and lots of pollen. Greenish-yellow film is all over everything. I've had to keep the windows closed to keep that stuff out.
My work is going well, but has really ramped up. A huge conference now to plan and conduct in early June, mandated by action in Congress. The short notice isn't really that much of a surprise, but now I've got 14 - 16 hour days running up to that event. The Boss said, "we are relying on your unique set of talents." How's that for pressure? LOL!
I thought that was enough, but then the Super-Big Cheese -- the one in charge of the whole agency for whom I work -- sought me out yesterday to give me his insights on what he wants done. Man, I didn't even know that he really knew me. I mean, he knew I was here, tangentially, but apparently last week several people advised him that I was who I was and was at his service, so Boom! Busy! Colleagues trying to be funny said, "that's why you're paid the big bucks." Ha!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my twin brother is in town and is also working long days by attending a lot of meetings in the city. He arrived home the past two nights late and tired. I give him something to eat and chat for a few minutes, then head to bed. He stays up for hours, working. I see him in the morning, and have the pleasure of preparing breakfast for him before he heads out to conquer the world of his diplomatic mission.
My partner remains steady as a rock. His work is busy, but not overwhelming. His schedule is dependable and predictable. He isn't fussing that I'm having to work so many hours this week. As he said, he figured this would happen once they got to know me at my new office and learned how I could apply my skills and talents to meet dynamic and ever-changing demands and needs.
No more travel for me for a while except from home to countless meetings related to this big deal event coming up. That's fine. It's what I do. It's what I enjoy. I have an incredibly talented and dedicated group of colleagues and collaborators on whom I will rely to get this done.
Confucius said, "choose a job you love, and you won't have to work a day in your life." I do love what I do... but it IS exhausting!
Life is short: keep busy!
My work is going well, but has really ramped up. A huge conference now to plan and conduct in early June, mandated by action in Congress. The short notice isn't really that much of a surprise, but now I've got 14 - 16 hour days running up to that event. The Boss said, "we are relying on your unique set of talents." How's that for pressure? LOL!
I thought that was enough, but then the Super-Big Cheese -- the one in charge of the whole agency for whom I work -- sought me out yesterday to give me his insights on what he wants done. Man, I didn't even know that he really knew me. I mean, he knew I was here, tangentially, but apparently last week several people advised him that I was who I was and was at his service, so Boom! Busy! Colleagues trying to be funny said, "that's why you're paid the big bucks." Ha!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my twin brother is in town and is also working long days by attending a lot of meetings in the city. He arrived home the past two nights late and tired. I give him something to eat and chat for a few minutes, then head to bed. He stays up for hours, working. I see him in the morning, and have the pleasure of preparing breakfast for him before he heads out to conquer the world of his diplomatic mission.
My partner remains steady as a rock. His work is busy, but not overwhelming. His schedule is dependable and predictable. He isn't fussing that I'm having to work so many hours this week. As he said, he figured this would happen once they got to know me at my new office and learned how I could apply my skills and talents to meet dynamic and ever-changing demands and needs.
No more travel for me for a while except from home to countless meetings related to this big deal event coming up. That's fine. It's what I do. It's what I enjoy. I have an incredibly talented and dedicated group of colleagues and collaborators on whom I will rely to get this done.
Confucius said, "choose a job you love, and you won't have to work a day in your life." I do love what I do... but it IS exhausting!
Life is short: keep busy!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Saweeeet....
I had one of those all-afternoon meetings for work yesterday. But I was actually looking forward to it, because I could ride my Harley to work... and park free... and enjoy temperatures in the low 70°s (21°C). And what made it even sweeter is that I was told, specifically, to come "dressed casually" as the meeting was going to be an "offsite" -- this is a term for meeting somewhere other than the office. In this case, the meeting was in a restaurant.
I wore a nice pair of leather jeans with a regular shirt and my Chippewa Firefighter boots all shined up. Put on my lightweight leather jacket, gloves, and full-face helmet and off I went... cruisin' down the road.
It's great to pull into the public parking lot near my office and find designated motorcycle parking that is free. I worked darned hard to get legislation submitted and passed that provides free motorcycle parking at our county's public parking lots, and I am still enjoying the results of that work (yeah, I'm cheap!)
And for the fashionistas who would go nuts about a man attending a professional meeting and interacting with colleagues and co-workers while dressed in a pair of leather jeans and boots -- well, fa cosà sia! Not a problem! My colleagues listened to what I had to say, not gaped at what I wore. They respect me as a fellow professional. I don't wear leather inside the office, but if we're going to meet at a casual restaurant and I was told to dress casually, ... then ... so be it. BTW, one of my colleagues was in boots and jeans, too. (Though I'm the only biker of the bunch.)
Overall, if you have to have a long, work-related meeting, it makes it better if you can get there by Harley and wear your leather. As I said, "saweeeet!" I love my job.
Life is short: love what you do!
P.S.: to my buddy from NH: again, I do not mean to rub it in (too much!). We often get these short teasers this time of year where us bikers get out our bikes and think that we're ready to begin the riding season when wham! - bang! the bottom will drop out of the thermometer and ice and snow return. But when these teasers happen, I want to take advantage of it.
I wore a nice pair of leather jeans with a regular shirt and my Chippewa Firefighter boots all shined up. Put on my lightweight leather jacket, gloves, and full-face helmet and off I went... cruisin' down the road.
It's great to pull into the public parking lot near my office and find designated motorcycle parking that is free. I worked darned hard to get legislation submitted and passed that provides free motorcycle parking at our county's public parking lots, and I am still enjoying the results of that work (yeah, I'm cheap!)
And for the fashionistas who would go nuts about a man attending a professional meeting and interacting with colleagues and co-workers while dressed in a pair of leather jeans and boots -- well, fa cosà sia! Not a problem! My colleagues listened to what I had to say, not gaped at what I wore. They respect me as a fellow professional. I don't wear leather inside the office, but if we're going to meet at a casual restaurant and I was told to dress casually, ... then ... so be it. BTW, one of my colleagues was in boots and jeans, too. (Though I'm the only biker of the bunch.)
Overall, if you have to have a long, work-related meeting, it makes it better if you can get there by Harley and wear your leather. As I said, "saweeeet!" I love my job.
Life is short: love what you do!
P.S.: to my buddy from NH: again, I do not mean to rub it in (too much!). We often get these short teasers this time of year where us bikers get out our bikes and think that we're ready to begin the riding season when wham! - bang! the bottom will drop out of the thermometer and ice and snow return. But when these teasers happen, I want to take advantage of it.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Travels Again
Considering what I have been through this past week with the death of my aunt, having a business trip come up now is actually very good timing. I needed a break and since I enjoy my job so much, this is a great way to change my thinking totally and to focus on learning new things, meeting new people, presenting information about what I am doing, and networking with professionals from the entire United States, including our Atlantic and Pacific island territories and Commonwealths.
I will be confirming site visits along the California coast in late March, and Hawaii after that. (No, this is not a junket ... seriously ... but any trip from CONUS to Hawaii is always considered a luau. I have many interests on several Hawaiian Islands that I need to see in person.)
Further, while I am here, I will confirm arrangements for a site visit to Saipan, and perhaps Tinian, which are part of the Commonwealth of the Northern Marianas, later this year. Meanwhile, I am brushing up on my Puerto Rican Spanish, as I am having dinner with colleagues from P.R. tonight.
Life is short: get busy!
Friday, November 26, 2010
Frantic Friday
In the U.S., today is referred to as "Black Friday" meaning that many stores and on-line retailers offer discounts and deals. It's supposed to be among the best days for businesses to make money due to the high volume of customers.
All well and good. I completed my Christmas shopping in July and have no need nor desire to do any shopping today. Bah, humbug. (That's the only slightly negative thing you'll hear me say, by the way. I am just one of those guys who doesn't get into shopping whatsoever.)
I am actually working today (this post having been written last night and schedule to appear this morning.) I have my first business trip coming up to Seattle next week, so I have to put everything together for the trip. Actually, it is five activities in one trip: presentation on Thursday afternoon, meeting with some feds on Friday, another meeting with a colleague on Friday afternoon, open weekend, then a presentation on Monday morning followed by a meeting that afternoon, then I get to fly back home.
I prefer to make my own travel arrangements, rather than have someone else do it for me and not select flights, hotels, etc., that I prefer. Even with restrictions on what airline I must use, there are ways around that, so I don't have to take, for example, Continental or AirTran or United (which for various reasons I don't like), and can use a carrier of my choice that offers a competitive fare and on which I accumulate frequent flyer miles.
Funny (odd), but this is the first Friday after Thanksgiving that I have had to work since 1992. Usually, I spend this day cleaning up after our Thanksgiving Pot Luck. Fortunately, my family and partner did 99% of the cleaning last night, so all I have to do today on my lunch hour is make a quick run to the dump (ooops, here in Snoburbia, we call it the "transfer station.") We have trash and a lot of recyclables to dispose of, and it is better to take care of this massive chore rather than expect our regular trash service to pick up all that stuff (plus, I want to get the use of my garage back as quickly as I can.)
We had a great day yesterday, with 100 of our closest senior pals enjoying the day with us. It really was a lot of fun, and not much work. We smiled, laughed, sang, and some of the folks watched football with my partner in his basement "man cave." I stayed upstairs most of the time just visiting and listening. I really don't care for football.
Today as you may be going about shopping or eating leftover turkey or whatever, think of me, actually working at my new job. And, truly, enjoying it because I can sit here in my leather and work from home. Best of all worlds!
Life is short: keep workin'!
All well and good. I completed my Christmas shopping in July and have no need nor desire to do any shopping today. Bah, humbug. (That's the only slightly negative thing you'll hear me say, by the way. I am just one of those guys who doesn't get into shopping whatsoever.)
I am actually working today (this post having been written last night and schedule to appear this morning.) I have my first business trip coming up to Seattle next week, so I have to put everything together for the trip. Actually, it is five activities in one trip: presentation on Thursday afternoon, meeting with some feds on Friday, another meeting with a colleague on Friday afternoon, open weekend, then a presentation on Monday morning followed by a meeting that afternoon, then I get to fly back home.
I prefer to make my own travel arrangements, rather than have someone else do it for me and not select flights, hotels, etc., that I prefer. Even with restrictions on what airline I must use, there are ways around that, so I don't have to take, for example, Continental or AirTran or United (which for various reasons I don't like), and can use a carrier of my choice that offers a competitive fare and on which I accumulate frequent flyer miles.
Funny (odd), but this is the first Friday after Thanksgiving that I have had to work since 1992. Usually, I spend this day cleaning up after our Thanksgiving Pot Luck. Fortunately, my family and partner did 99% of the cleaning last night, so all I have to do today on my lunch hour is make a quick run to the dump (ooops, here in Snoburbia, we call it the "transfer station.") We have trash and a lot of recyclables to dispose of, and it is better to take care of this massive chore rather than expect our regular trash service to pick up all that stuff (plus, I want to get the use of my garage back as quickly as I can.)
We had a great day yesterday, with 100 of our closest senior pals enjoying the day with us. It really was a lot of fun, and not much work. We smiled, laughed, sang, and some of the folks watched football with my partner in his basement "man cave." I stayed upstairs most of the time just visiting and listening. I really don't care for football.
Today as you may be going about shopping or eating leftover turkey or whatever, think of me, actually working at my new job. And, truly, enjoying it because I can sit here in my leather and work from home. Best of all worlds!
Life is short: keep workin'!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Discipline
Uh-oh, here I go again, raising the specter of perhaps this blog post being about something that some guys into leather get into. Sorry... not the case.
This post is just to say that yes, I have begun my new job, and so far so good. It takes a long time to get on board, with all sorts of paperwork and forms and such. Photo IDs for this-and-that, fingerprints, retina scans, passport validation, etc., etc. But it's all good... I finally got my network ID and access to email, but not, as yet, a VPN so I can't quite yet access all the systems at the office remotely.
I did get one of those cool new devices that hooks up to my laptop for accessing it. This thing, called a CAC card, gives me access to the building as well as access to certain parts of the network, and when connected, actually makes my work phone number ring on my home phone. It probably does other stuff too that if I found out about it and told you, I'd have to shoot you.
The "discipline" to which I am referring in the title of this post is working from home. Most of the time, I will be working from my own home, and not in an office. Even though the office is just a few miles from my home, there's no reason to go there, as the majority of people I work with are scattered all over the U.S. and we all work together in greater cyberspace.
I must remain diligent in working on work time. No foolin' around on the computer, answering personal email, writing blog posts, or commenting on Facebook. I really do have a serious work ethic that when I'm at work, I'm working, regardless of location. That type of self-discipline is what earns me the right to be able to work remotely, because they trust that I'll focus on getting the job done, and I don't need to be in an office to have someone watch me do my job, which is mostly using the phone and a computer. I can do that anywhere.
Pretty cool new way of doing work. No commuting. No hassles. Start work as early as I want, and knock off at a reasonable time so I can have dinner prepared for my partner and handle other stuff, too, as needed. I can also take my "lunch hour" to visit my aunt who lives 5 minutes away. Heck, I'm pretty fat, dumb, and happy with this new gig... let's hope it lasts.
By the way, "fat, dumb and happy" is a figure of American speech. By working at home and taking lunchtime to visit my aunt, I can skip lunch and thus continue my weight-loss program by reduction of caloric intake on non-essential meals. Also, since I don't have to start work until 6:30am, I can continue to take my weight-loss walks between 4:30 and 6, which is also good for me. As I said, "it's all good!"
Life is short: let's hope this easy-peasy method of working is able to last!
This post is just to say that yes, I have begun my new job, and so far so good. It takes a long time to get on board, with all sorts of paperwork and forms and such. Photo IDs for this-and-that, fingerprints, retina scans, passport validation, etc., etc. But it's all good... I finally got my network ID and access to email, but not, as yet, a VPN so I can't quite yet access all the systems at the office remotely.
I did get one of those cool new devices that hooks up to my laptop for accessing it. This thing, called a CAC card, gives me access to the building as well as access to certain parts of the network, and when connected, actually makes my work phone number ring on my home phone. It probably does other stuff too that if I found out about it and told you, I'd have to shoot you.
The "discipline" to which I am referring in the title of this post is working from home. Most of the time, I will be working from my own home, and not in an office. Even though the office is just a few miles from my home, there's no reason to go there, as the majority of people I work with are scattered all over the U.S. and we all work together in greater cyberspace.
I must remain diligent in working on work time. No foolin' around on the computer, answering personal email, writing blog posts, or commenting on Facebook. I really do have a serious work ethic that when I'm at work, I'm working, regardless of location. That type of self-discipline is what earns me the right to be able to work remotely, because they trust that I'll focus on getting the job done, and I don't need to be in an office to have someone watch me do my job, which is mostly using the phone and a computer. I can do that anywhere.
Pretty cool new way of doing work. No commuting. No hassles. Start work as early as I want, and knock off at a reasonable time so I can have dinner prepared for my partner and handle other stuff, too, as needed. I can also take my "lunch hour" to visit my aunt who lives 5 minutes away. Heck, I'm pretty fat, dumb, and happy with this new gig... let's hope it lasts.
By the way, "fat, dumb and happy" is a figure of American speech. By working at home and taking lunchtime to visit my aunt, I can skip lunch and thus continue my weight-loss program by reduction of caloric intake on non-essential meals. Also, since I don't have to start work until 6:30am, I can continue to take my weight-loss walks between 4:30 and 6, which is also good for me. As I said, "it's all good!"
Life is short: let's hope this easy-peasy method of working is able to last!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Turning the Page
Today marks the end of one significant block of time in my life as I transition to another. Today, I begin work at a new full-time job. I was actively recruited for the position and survived some rather challenging interviews to get it. I was offered the position in September, and was led to believe the appointment was imminent. However, I had to go through an extensive background and security check, and wait for that to clear. That happened in October. Then funding had to come together, and that finally happened in November. So now I can start work. Yippie!
I was no slouch since I was laid off in June -- contrary to ribbing I have received from friends, I have not slept until noon and then played on the computer all day. I spent a lot of time every day during my time off caring for my aunt. However, that wasn't all that I did: I bought and fixed up another house which just was rented by a first-year cop as affordable housing. I did a lot of repairs and maintenance on my own home -- so much so that I developed a hernia which was surgically repaired last week.
I (tried to) take some time to go for motorcycle rides, but I didn't have as much time to ride as I would have liked. But when I went, I had fun. I also spent a fairly significant time taking pictures for and updating my website, including developing a major "refresh" for the Home Page.
I don't really know where the time flew from June to November, but now it's time to return to a more predictable, income-producing routine. This is indeed the most major position I have taken on -- lots of responsibility, a lot of work, and a salary commensurate with the challenges involved. I think I'm ready.
The new job will involve some travel, and some of the trips will be significant to U.S. territories in the Pacific, including remote islands that are hard to reach by commercial air. Oh well, I'll figure that out when the time comes, as I've been to those islands in my past life. In fact, I have my first trip already booked for a major international conference in February, located on an independent island nation in the South Pacific.
Some friends have been asking me, "how did you ever have time to work with all the other stuff you're doing?" Good question. My response has been, "I've learned both how to multitask well and how to manage my time." But in all honesty, I know some things will have to change.
For example, I suspect that I will not have much time to write posts for this blog so they appear each and every day. I may have to blog less often, especially because my work ethics prevent me from considering taking any time while on the job to dabble in blogging (or even answering personal email). Further, I know I will not have time to make videos nor take pictures to update my website. Again, that will have to "wait and see" when or if I have time for these things. I want to give my fullest concentration to my new job and not be distracted by my hobbies.
Wish me well as I pursue the next chapter in my life, and I continue to learn that...
Life is short: pursue it with commitment and gusto!
I was no slouch since I was laid off in June -- contrary to ribbing I have received from friends, I have not slept until noon and then played on the computer all day. I spent a lot of time every day during my time off caring for my aunt. However, that wasn't all that I did: I bought and fixed up another house which just was rented by a first-year cop as affordable housing. I did a lot of repairs and maintenance on my own home -- so much so that I developed a hernia which was surgically repaired last week.
I don't really know where the time flew from June to November, but now it's time to return to a more predictable, income-producing routine. This is indeed the most major position I have taken on -- lots of responsibility, a lot of work, and a salary commensurate with the challenges involved. I think I'm ready.
The new job will involve some travel, and some of the trips will be significant to U.S. territories in the Pacific, including remote islands that are hard to reach by commercial air. Oh well, I'll figure that out when the time comes, as I've been to those islands in my past life. In fact, I have my first trip already booked for a major international conference in February, located on an independent island nation in the South Pacific.
Some friends have been asking me, "how did you ever have time to work with all the other stuff you're doing?" Good question. My response has been, "I've learned both how to multitask well and how to manage my time." But in all honesty, I know some things will have to change.
For example, I suspect that I will not have much time to write posts for this blog so they appear each and every day. I may have to blog less often, especially because my work ethics prevent me from considering taking any time while on the job to dabble in blogging (or even answering personal email). Further, I know I will not have time to make videos nor take pictures to update my website. Again, that will have to "wait and see" when or if I have time for these things. I want to give my fullest concentration to my new job and not be distracted by my hobbies.
Wish me well as I pursue the next chapter in my life, and I continue to learn that...
Life is short: pursue it with commitment and gusto!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Networking
Networking is an old term. Some call it "shmoozing" and others call it other things, but the old axiom is true: it's not what you know, it's who you know, that gets you a job (speaking of the profession in which I work).
I'm really not the social sort. If I had a choice of going to a reception at the end of a long day, I often would skip it and go home. I have attended hundreds of conferences, and again, at the end of a long day of conferencing, I'd go back to my hotel room and go to bed early rather than go out to a late dinner with other conference attendees and "network."
However, there is power in developing a large circle of people who not only know you're name, but also know your skills, abilities, and interests. Over many years, I would spend quality time with people in both professional settings (teaching, public speaking, collaborating on projects, etc.) and socially (off-times during conferences or training sessions, mostly.) They would get to know me and I would get to know them. We would keep in touch, though the frequency of contact varied.
Such was the case with me these past few months. I was laid off from my job on June 4. I saw it coming, and accepted it as a fait accompli. I felt that my calling had changed from working to earn an income at a job that simply was that -- a job -- to caring for my elderly aunt who needed a lot more help and attention and my "job" was to do everything in my power to enable her to live safely, comfortably, and well.
So throughout June, July, and August, I concentrated on helping my aunt get through a serious health crisis where she could have died. I spent many hours every day organizing a lot things required to enable her to live in her own home, yet have professional caregivers with her 24/7. Even though she has caregivers with her all the time now, it still requires lots of my time to keep her fridge and pantry stocked, meds updated, visiting and keeping her mind active, and to attend to minor but serious problems like skin infections and other things.
Throughout my layoff time, I would occasionally visit an on-line job board to see if there was something I was interested in doing. I applied for some jobs, but none of these positions would invoke my passions. If I were hired for one of these jobs, it would pay the bills, but I just would be going through the motions of doing what I had to do. Not much fun....
Well, anyway, I also kept up the networking through the summer. Posts on Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social networking sites, as well as direct email, telephone conversations, and so forth kept the word out that I wanted to return to my profession and do what I am recognized for on the national stage.
It was one of those people who led me to learning about a position that is perfect for me. A Facebook friend sent me a link to a description of my perfect job -- on my birthday no less (great timing, huh?). The job description was posted on another social network, LinkedIn.
I submitted my resume, and got a call within an hour to set up an interview. The first interview led to a second. The second interview led to a real-time test of how I applied my skills during an exercise.
I had stiff competition for this position. I put out a call to my network for references, and was overwhelmed to receive over 70 thoughtful, thorough replies. I had four professional references from top-notch people written for me on request, as well. My references (also developed through years of networking) really pulled for me and helped convince them to make me an offer for what will be my dream job: in my field, and something about which I am exceptionally passionate about.
I begin my new job onOct. 4 November 22 (changed, thanks to how slow bureaucracy is), and will be working with people who I have known professionally for years. Great thing about it is that it's an absolutely perfect match for my skills and passions. It's also right in my home town, so the commute will be simple.
So I am here to say that I was wrong -- just a year ago I was writing here with a "bah-humbug" attitude about Facebook and social networking in general. But I acknowledge that without that contact, I probably wouldn't have known about this job and wouldn't have applied, been interviewed, or gotten such a generous offer.
Life is short: network! (including social networking, too!)
I'm really not the social sort. If I had a choice of going to a reception at the end of a long day, I often would skip it and go home. I have attended hundreds of conferences, and again, at the end of a long day of conferencing, I'd go back to my hotel room and go to bed early rather than go out to a late dinner with other conference attendees and "network."
However, there is power in developing a large circle of people who not only know you're name, but also know your skills, abilities, and interests. Over many years, I would spend quality time with people in both professional settings (teaching, public speaking, collaborating on projects, etc.) and socially (off-times during conferences or training sessions, mostly.) They would get to know me and I would get to know them. We would keep in touch, though the frequency of contact varied.
Such was the case with me these past few months. I was laid off from my job on June 4. I saw it coming, and accepted it as a fait accompli. I felt that my calling had changed from working to earn an income at a job that simply was that -- a job -- to caring for my elderly aunt who needed a lot more help and attention and my "job" was to do everything in my power to enable her to live safely, comfortably, and well.
So throughout June, July, and August, I concentrated on helping my aunt get through a serious health crisis where she could have died. I spent many hours every day organizing a lot things required to enable her to live in her own home, yet have professional caregivers with her 24/7. Even though she has caregivers with her all the time now, it still requires lots of my time to keep her fridge and pantry stocked, meds updated, visiting and keeping her mind active, and to attend to minor but serious problems like skin infections and other things.
Throughout my layoff time, I would occasionally visit an on-line job board to see if there was something I was interested in doing. I applied for some jobs, but none of these positions would invoke my passions. If I were hired for one of these jobs, it would pay the bills, but I just would be going through the motions of doing what I had to do. Not much fun....
Well, anyway, I also kept up the networking through the summer. Posts on Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social networking sites, as well as direct email, telephone conversations, and so forth kept the word out that I wanted to return to my profession and do what I am recognized for on the national stage.
It was one of those people who led me to learning about a position that is perfect for me. A Facebook friend sent me a link to a description of my perfect job -- on my birthday no less (great timing, huh?). The job description was posted on another social network, LinkedIn.
I submitted my resume, and got a call within an hour to set up an interview. The first interview led to a second. The second interview led to a real-time test of how I applied my skills during an exercise.
I had stiff competition for this position. I put out a call to my network for references, and was overwhelmed to receive over 70 thoughtful, thorough replies. I had four professional references from top-notch people written for me on request, as well. My references (also developed through years of networking) really pulled for me and helped convince them to make me an offer for what will be my dream job: in my field, and something about which I am exceptionally passionate about.
I begin my new job on
So I am here to say that I was wrong -- just a year ago I was writing here with a "bah-humbug" attitude about Facebook and social networking in general. But I acknowledge that without that contact, I probably wouldn't have known about this job and wouldn't have applied, been interviewed, or gotten such a generous offer.
Life is short: network! (including social networking, too!)
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
When the Lord Closes a Door
Maria said in The Sound of Music, "When the Lord closes a door, He opens a window somewhere."I have always liked this expression, and lately, it has applied to me. Yep, one door of my life is closing, and I am searching for that open window. The funding for my job runs out in June. It's not personal, nor reflective on my work. It's a catch-up of the awful, prolonged, economy.
Come June, I will no longer be commuting into the city on a regular basis. That is, unless that window opens soon and I get an offer that I can't refuse and the location for a new job is back in the city.
I would prefer to work out in the Maryland 'burbs where I live, but I can work in DC with no problem. Working in Virginia, though, would be hard to do, since I did that for eight years and almost lost what was left of my mind due to the awful commute. Plus, I do not have up-to-date shots to ward off their rabidly homophobic AG.
I am unwilling to move from my home. I worked hard building our house, and building my community with all of my life-long relationships, and I'm not about to leave them. My partner is well-settled where he is, and I would never make an independent move just for a job that didn't involve him being right there with me. (Which is why I am not working in San Francisco or in Australia. I have had several offers there over the years, but as I said, I am unwilling to relocate.)
I am fortunate in many respects. First, I wasn't fired and it's not a black mark on my resume. It's simply a function of the economy, and zillions of people have been caught up in that situation. Second, my partner, close family and friends understand and say many things that continue to bolster my spirits and keep me looking forward. Third, I have a significant cash reserve of funds saved, that even if I had not another penny of income, I can live as I enjoy for at least 22 months entirely on my own barring unforeseen financial burdens. My partner and I share joint expenses for our household, and I will continue to hold up my share of our costs. Good thing is that we both choose not to eat out, we make our own lunches, we aren't traveling on exotic vacations, or otherwise, spending money that we don't have.
It's time to move on, move up, and get re-energized. When the Lord closes a door, He opens a window somewhere....
Life is short: keep looking forward.
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