Valentine's Day hype and hoopla aside, I still get mushy about this day and the relationship with my man, my hunky Valentine.
Each day of the year I find at least one way to show my partner how much I love him. Not only sharing words, but through deeds which demonstrate my love for the man who is my best half, best friend, and who means the world to me. From the day we met almost 19 years ago until this very moment, I love him deeply.
What am I doing on Valentine's Day for my man?
Yesterday, Saturday, the weather was particularly "yucky" -- cold rain, with a little bit of heavy, wet snow. Not a real good day for a wedding, dress clothes, and leather-soled cowboy boots, so I made a last-minute boot change....
For the past two days, I have had the pleasure of visiting with family who have come to town to attend a niece's wedding. Because my partner is not feeling well, we did not have anyone stay with us as a houseguest. (My twin brother wasn't able to come, either. Bummer.)
The wedding is today. I will (reluctantly) put on a pair of dress pants, shirt & tie, dress cowboy boots, and a sport coat, then drive to my sister's home for a pre-wedding brunch. This sister is the bride's aunt and Godmother. Then I will drive to the church, 15 miles away, to be there for the wedding ceremony.
When the wedding is over, I will politely make my exit and come home.
Why?
I wrote a post on February 6 titled, "Normative Masculinity" which provided my comments about an academic research study about Western male "hegemonic" masculinity. I invited comments or questions.
I received two interesting email messages about that post, both of which asked, "do guys wear boots to appear more masculine, especially gay guys?"
I am honored to know a man who is my hero, and call him not only my best friend, but my brother. My twin brother. My alter-ego in life, in heart, and in action.
Throughout our lives, both my brother and I have had a special place in our hearts to help those in need, who were picked on, bullied, and treated terribly because of some difference they had. We each acted in our own ways of trying to save and protect people who were unable to defend themselves, and today, my brother is doing it, saving lives, and bringing peace. Literally. I am so proud of him. (This photo is so characteristic of my brother -- leading through a dark tunnel into the broad sunlight of day.)
I found a very interesting academic research article titled, "Searching for the Gay Masculinity" (Full text here) which says, in part:
Today is the day when the Super Bowl, the championship of American Football, is played. This game is hyped up so much. So many promotions from all sorts of retailers who are trying to capitalize on making money from game-related activities -- including grocery stores, big box retailers that sell hi-def televisions, furniture stores, and many more. Phooey. I don't buy into the hype and commercialization related to one football game. Really.
What will I be doing instead of shopping, attending parties, or watching the game?
Fridays are known where I work as "casual Friday." Most guys wear jeans, polo shirts, and sneakers. I take advantage of the unwritten rule that it is okay to wear jeans to work on Fridays, but along with the jeans, I decided to wear my Lucchese Classic "blue jeans" cowboy boots to work. I work in a professional office. Most other men wear drab, dull, dress shoes on most days, and sneakers on Fridays. Not me--always booted.
These boots, though, are noticeable because of their predominant blue color, with white inlays and black overlays. Not that I would care if anyone said anything, but I conducted an experiment.
My partner has had an onslaught of various medical problems that began last November, and persist today. However, things are getting a little bit better. He is not fully recovered, nor may he ever be. But we are taking it one day at a time.
I shan't bore you with all the details. But I do want to share some lessons that we learned that may help you, or someone you care about, in the future.
My partner is so very thoughtful. He followed me on my Harley one night, and said, "man, I couldn't see you that well."
He fixed it -- as he always does, the solver of problems. He bought me a new light bar for the back of my Harley. Gave it to me for Christmas. I just had it installed.
Now I can be seen!
I sure enjoyed taking the long way home yesterday from the place where I had the lights installed. The weather was unusually warm (65F, 18C) for January 31! Woo-hoo, I'm riding to work today, February 1! Who woulda thunk?
Life is short: Ride Safe!
