Friday, December 2, 2011

Not Going to the Wedding Reception

One of my nieces is getting married to a sweet guy. I am delighted for them. They have been dating since high school and throughout their college years. After college, they went their separate ways, but reunited a couple years ago when their respective jobs placed them back in the same town, and realized that their love for each other was meant to be. Now they plan to take the next step and get married.

The wedding invitation arrived the other day. I looked at it, sighed, and told my partner....

Yep, another family wedding. It will be good to have a positive reason for all of us to get together. But I don't want to go to the reception.

My partner understands. He knows that I just can't stand dressing up and going to wedding receptions. I can't dance and hate to be in a situation to turn down requests to dance. I also don't drink alcohol, which flows freely at these events. Plus, the wedding is in one town, and the reception is 30 miles away in another, and will run late into the night. Nope, I just don't want to go.

This is a difficult conundrum for me. Most people look forward to weddings as a reason to dress up and call it fun to drink, dance, and socialize like that. I never got those genes. Blecchhh...

Not that I don't love my family. I do, very much. I just don't like wedding receptions.

So as I have done before, I will show up for the church service and say hello to the family before the service. Then after the service is over, I will go home while the others take off for the reception.

Fortunately, some of my out-of-town family will arrive a few days early, so I will visit with them casually in the days ahead. I will bring my gift to my niece beforehand, as well. I will let them know that I will not attend the reception. They would prefer that I suck it up and go, but I know in my heart that I'll be miserable and do not want to be in that situation. I'm no fun when I feel that way.

This is a bit of a bust of another gay stereotype. Many think that all gay men love weddings. I'm not one of them.

Life is short: draw your bounds and stick to 'em.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You'll be there for the most important part of the day -- the wedding ceremony. How this aspect of the day is often overshadowed by the party afterwards is very interesting.

I come from a religious background that frowns upon consuming alcohol. Many of my friends who held their wedding receptions at the church following the ceremony had fewer guests than those who had a big "blowout" at a place that accomodated alcohol.