Amusing Google Searches

Every now and then, I look at the stats linked to this blog to see what draws new visitors to it. Most new visitors (not the "regulars" who are followers, friends, relatives, or google "friend connect" users) come from searches using Google.

Here are some of the searches that landed up here, categorized by topic. I copied exactly what people entered into a search, including typos, misspellings, and grammar (or lack thereof).

1. Gay issues

• why gay men have those squeaky voice?
• can a gay man be masculine
• can you be gay and masculine
• boots outside jeans gay?
• gay boots and jeans

Response: some gay men speak with a distinctive sound. I described it recently here. But honestly, most do not. Most gay men sound like anyone else. It's a stereotype that all gay men speak with a squeaky voice.

Gay men and masculinity? Yep, I have blogged a lot about that. It is quite possible, speaking from personal experience, that there are masculine gay men. Again, not all gay men are prissy queens. Gay men range in masculinity as straight men do. However, many unenlightened straight men fail to recognize or actively deny this range.

Does a man who wears his jeans inside his boots mean he is gay? Um... no. Again, another stereotype. Just go ask a rodeo cowboy in Buckaroo boots that question.

The funny: "gay boots and jeans." I have yet to find such a combination....

2. Cowboy Boots

• how can men wear cowboy boots
• how to wear cowboy boots with jeans
• what boots to wear with blue jeans
• what jeans do you wear with cowboy boots
• can you wear cowboy boots with a suit?
  
• boots outside jeans cool?
• how should a man wear cowboy boots
• how to wear cowboy boots to work
  
• how do cowboys iron their jeans?
  
• what kind of boots do cowboys wear?

Response: It amazes and amuses me how many, many people inquire about how to wear cowboy boots, what jeans to wear with them, what stacked jeans are, if one can wear cowboy boots with a suit, and so on. I do not know the reasons why so many inquiries of this nature are searched, but ever since I posted the tutorial Cowboy Boots and Jeans on my website, it is continually the second-most visited tutorial on my website. (See below for links to the first).

Funny #1: "how to wear cowboy boots to work?" Answer: on your feet.
Funny #2: "how do cowboys iron their jeans?" Answer: it depends if you're straight or gay. Straight cowboys don't iron their jeans. Gay cowboys send them to the dry cleaner.
Funny #3: "what kind of boots do cowboys wear?" ... um, how about, "cowboy boots!" LOL!

3. Motorcycle Boots

• do I need motorcycle boots
• difference between biker boots and cowboy
• the best motorcycle boots
• how to break in leather motercycle boots
• how to put on 17 motorcycle boots

Response: yes, if you are going to ride a motorcycle, you need to wear boots designed for that purpose. Wearing sneakers or worse -- flip-flops -- is just stupid. I have blogged a whole lot about motorcycle boots and wrote the tutorials on motorcycle patrol boots and motorcycle boots. These tutorials are tied for the most-visited on my website. It is no wonder many searches about motorcycle boots end up on my website and this blog.

How to break in motorcycle boots? Train the ankles, then put on good, thick socks and wear them while riding.

Funny: "how to put on 17 motorcycle boots." Answer: grow 15 more legs and feet!

4. Leather

• leathermen who wear thier leathers 247
• is it illegal to wear a uniform if you are not a cop
• does leather hurt?

Response: I for one can't wear leather 24/7. While I enjoy wearing leather often, I wear it when the weather is suitably cool enough. I don't like to sweat. I guess there are some guys out there who wear leather all day and all night. I'm not one of them, and do not know any.

As for uniform wearing: yes, it is legal to wear a uniform if you are not a cop. Just don't wear one within the jurisdiction of the agency being represented, and don't try to act like a cop by making certain comments to other people, or carrying a weapon such as a gun or baton (night stick). It is all explained here on my website for those who are curious (and I have blogged a little about it, too.)

Funny: "does leather hurt?" Answer: yes, the cow who donated it for human use probably would say it hurts.

5. Funniest of all

• shoes for cocktail attire

I just about died laughing when I saw this search ended up on this blog. It goes back to my April Fool's Day joke where I spoofed about shoes to wear with cocktail attire to attend the latest guppy gathering in my area. I laughed because I am about the last one to be consulted on shoes and cocktail attire. I care for neither.

Summary: I hope you enjoyed this brief tour of what people enter into search engines and how or why they ended up on this blog. And before you worry that I have gone all "big brother," no worries, I do not know who you are. I just see what you are looking for and where (the town) you are coming from.

Life is short: search on!