The Gift of Listening

It seems that these days, most people want to do all the talking. You see them all the time -- yakking away on their cell phones while driving, walking down the street, or everywhere else. I was seated with a group at lunch on Friday, and watched a table of four next to me. Each person was talking -- no one was listening. It seemed to me as if they were in a contest about who could outlast and "outtalk" the others. No one listened -- they all blabbed away.

I am fortunate to live with a man who is a superb listener. Among his many skills, he listens to what others say, and acts on what he hears. He is a man of few words. Often, he prefers that everyone else do the talking and he not say a word.

I value that my partner is such a good listener. We went to visit my old friend yesterday. She lives about an hour's drive away, so the visits are not as frequent as I might like them to be, but nonetheless, are good ones. He picked up and remembered that my friend gets cold, but because she must have daily intravenous medical treatments these days, she cannot wear a traditional sweater with sleeves. He found my friend a sleeveless fleece sweater/vest at our local KMart. He also remembered that my friend just loves a dairy treat that is sold by a fast-food restaurant. On our way to visit my dear old friend yesterday, we stopped by that restaurant and got the treat for her.

I recall that this friend taught me so much as she mentored me when I was just learning about working in the non-profit field. She cared for me and listened to me back then. Now it's my turn -- to listen. During our visit, I sat, held her hand, and my partner held her other hand. We gave her the dairy treat which she loved. She was so thrilled with the vest that my partner found for her, she almost jumped for joy. Unfortunately, her jumping days are over, but her joy was quite palpable.

I realize that I get so busy doing so many things, that I have to depend on my partner to help me keep focused on priorities, remember what and who are important, and to slow down and listen. Yeah, I am kinda verbal, but I credit my partner for continuing to teach me that all-important lesson especially when it comes to relating to older people. "Shut up and listen. Just listen. Hold their hand and listen." He is so right. Just having someone to listen to them -- even if it is stories one has heard before -- helps an older person feel that someone else is interested in them, cares about them, and loves them.

I thank my partner for helping me to remember this very important lesson. I am so blessed in so many ways -- for having him keep me focused. For having close family and friends support and love me, lead me, and guide me along life's highway. But most of all, for the faith that so many others have in me. I guess I learned that by listening.

Life is short: listen. You will be amazed at what you hear.