Thursday, April 15, 2010

Typical Weekday In a Gay Couple's Life

I was reading a recent article titled Myth of the 'gay lifestyle' justifies bias by LZ Granderson. He made many good points about the fact that there really isn't a difference between how gay couples and straight couples live. He made many other good points, too, so be sure to click on the link and read the whole article.

His life with his partner is different from ours. His partner pays for a gym membership, while my partner works out with gym equipment at home (we abhor ongoing expenses). He has adopted a child; we don't have children.

My partner and I are different from other people in other ways, but that doesn't have to do with being gay. I thought I would describe what a typical weekday is like for my partner and me.

I naturally awaken between 4:00 and 4:15am. My partner rises and goes to a bathroom down the hall where he keeps all of his messy shaving stuff. That leaves the master bath available for me. I use it, brush my teeth and wash up, and perhaps take a quick shower. Ten minutes later I am getting dressed for work.

I go to our kitchen and prepare breakfast and lunch for both my partner and me. I usually cut slices from a home-made loaf of bread. I toast some bread for breakfast. I make sandwiches and add some lo-cal snacks like cereal and breadsticks. I fill two small plastic containers with juice. I add a cup of yogurt to my partner's lunch, too. I may prepare an egg or muffin, fill glasses with OJ, and sit down for a moment to enjoy my breakfast. I leave my partner's breakfast for him on the kitchen table.

I get the paper from the drive and leave it on the kitchen counter next to my partner's lunch, then go back up to my home office and get busy with things like a small consulting practice, or answering constituent email. My partner rushes in, embraces me and gives me a kiss goodbye. I work for about another half-hour, then leave myself.

We both commute into the city and work all day at our respective jobs (which are far apart enough that we have never met during the day). Being frugal, we don't "go for coffee" or eat lunch at restaurant. We eat our own lunches and enjoy snacks we've packed for ourselves.

On my way home from work, I stop by my aunt's home to check on her, and perhaps visit with some of my elder buds. By the time I get home, my partner is just arriving as well. I change clothes to the typical jeans, t-shirt, and boots and prepare a home-cooked dinner. While dinner is cooking, I call some older friends to check in with them. I serve dinner promptly at 6pm. We talk about the day and enjoy our meal media- and phone-free. During this time, I may also bake a cake for a friend's birthday, another loaf of bread, or both. I enjoy multitasking in the kitchen.

On a typical evening, after dinner I head out to a community meeting. I am involved in a variety of activities and groups. I leave those meetings so I can be home by 9pm at the latest, even if the meeting has not ended. My partner and I then go to bed.

If I have a "free" evening (i.e., no meetings), my partner and I will relax in our basement. He may watch something he has recorded on our DVR, while I slave away at my computer -- answering more email, reviewing plans, updating candidate websites, keeping abreast on the latest local news, and so on. I shut all that off by 8pm and curl up with my partner to have some "us time."

Since we do not have children, our lives are different from the gay guy whose story prompted this one. We don't go to a gym before work. We don't dine out with friends, and we avoid shopping for anything other than groceries. Sure, that makes us different from other couples but our differences from others have nothing to do with the fact that we are gay. We are frugal home-bodies. We enjoy our home and reap the benefits of not spending money at gyms, restaurants, or expensive gadgets like smartphones.

Our typical weekday is similar to a typical weekday of any couple who work for a living. Kinda boring, isn't it? I have no idea what those who think that "the gays" are out to impose their "gay agenda" on everyone else. They are afraid of what they don't know. They are afraid to admit that perhaps our life is just as normal and sane as everyone else's. Face it, they're just afraid. When fear controls thinking, bad things happen.

Life is short: enjoy your life, however you live it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Where couples are concerned, I think there are probably more children/no children differences than straight/gay differences.