Easing Into Riding Routine

The weather forecast for yesterday was spot-on. It was 55ºF (13ºC) at oh-dark-30 when I leave my home to drive to the downtown of my hometown where I work. Time to get the Harley out and ride!

But preparation for a safe ride is the key to a pleasurable commute.

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Weird Winter

I am not complaining... we have had such an unusually warm winter, it's been "riding season" all year long. Yesterday, it reached 57°F (14°C)... again, quite unusual for mid-February in the DC area. Just imagine, two years ago we were under mountains of snow!

After catching up on some much-needed rest yesterday, I put on my retro biker chaps, an old leather jacket, Chippewa ostrich motorcycle boots, and motored over to Mary's home.

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Riding on New Years Day?

Seldom does the weather cooperate on 1 January, but this year it did. The temperatures did not get as warm as predicted, but warm enough -- 50F (10C). It brought out a lot of bikers for my club's annual "polar bear ride."

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Stretching Before Riding

Man, it's hell getting old.

Saturday was bright and sunny, though rather cold. It was in the low 40s (F -- 5.5C) on Saturday afternoon when I decided to leather up and ride my Harley to run some errands. I want to ride when I can, before the crap is spread on the roads when they may get icy.

Anyway, I checked the bike over for safety issues as I always do, mounted and took off.

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Out Riding Again!

Woo-hoo! I can't believe it... Sunday, November 27, and it reached 70F! (21C). By early afternoon, my partner and I had done all we could do on our home project. He said, "it's so warm and sunny, why don't you go for a ride?"

He didn't have to ask twice.

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Out Riding

This post could have been posted yesterday, the day before, or even on Thanksgiving (Thursday). Man, we have had a wonderful streak of delightful weather.  I am sorry about seeming to rub it in to my biker buddies in locations where the weather has not been nearly as cooperative, but whenever I get a chance, I ride...

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Grrrrrr!ay Leather

I had a chance to take a ride yesterday while the weather was sunny and pleasantly cool. It was about 50°F (10°C), which was perfect weather to break in my custom gray leather jacket and my matching gray leather pants that I bought earlier this year from Johnson Leather of San Francisco, California, USA.

These leathers are thick and warm, and are made for cold-weather riding. They are very comfortable, and look great. Funny thing happened on the ride, too....

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Dehner Boots Go To Work on the Harley

When I woke yesterday morning at 4am, I felt chilled. I reached for the remote control to adjust the thermostat for more heat while snuggling closer to my partner for one last warm embrace. Dayum! It felt like winter. I'm not ready for it. Not ready at all.

There was a prediction the night before for some rain. I thought, then, that with wet roads and cold temperatures, that riding my Harley to work would not be an option.

We threw off the covers and went about our morning routine. As I dressed, I pulled on a pair of cowboy boots to wear with my dress clothes to work.

I stepped outside to retrieve the morning newspaper, and thought, "hmmm, it doesn't feel that cold. It didn't rain after all!" I went back inside and checked the thermometer. It was 43°F (6°C) -- above my riding threshold. Change of plans for the vehicle to use to drive to work -- the Harley! "Switch to motorcycle boots" was my immediate thought.

I went back to my bedroom, pulled the cowboy boots off, and as I was putting them away, I saw my tall, Vibram lug-soled Bal-Laced Dehner boots in the closet and said to myself, "sure, they will be perfect!" I pulled my socks up over the ends of my pants, then pulled the Dehners on over my pants. Comfortable! Great traction! Terrific feel!

I went downstairs to the kitchen. I handed my partner the lunch that I made for him, wished him a great day, and kissed him goodbye as he ran out the door to get to the Metro for his job in the city.

I got my lunch and other stuff that I needed to bring with me to work and went into the garage to get the bike ready to ride. I pulled out my truck and rolled the Harley out. After my usual T-clocs safety check, I donned my thick leather chaps, warm biker jacket, put on my full-face helmet, warm gloves, and off I went.

Okay, some of you may be wondering, "did he really wear his pants tucked into his Dehner boots around the office?" While I did tuck my pants into my boots before taking off on my ride, I did that in order to keep the pants clean. Somehow, road crap tends fly around and make my pants dirty, even if covered with chaps. However, when I parked the Harley and took off my chaps, I pulled my pants out of my boots and pulled the ends of my pants down over the boots. That way, my boots look much like laced dress shoes, and unless I sit across from someone and cross my legs, no one is the wiser.

It is possible, therefore, to wear Dehner boots at a typical business office with dress clothes and not have the boots be noticed (as an ostentatious display.)

Sorry for no photo -- I tried taking one with my cell phone, but I could not download it directly into my computer due to some technical problem which I do not have the time to figure out, and I am not about to pay the carrier's exorbitant fees to send photos to myself. (I will not pay for a data plan or a per-usage fee.)

Life is short: wear tall boots to work!

Decision-Making for a Motorcycle Ride

As my regular blog followers know, I ride a Harley. One may think that given the opportunity, I would be out there riding all day, every day.

Well, not quite. While I ride during the week to commute to work, that's about all the riding I can do during the week due to time constraints. During the summer after work, I may ride my Harley to get to a meeting, but if I do not have a specific place to go, then the Harley remains in the garage and I stay home.

That leaves weekends. My motorcycle club offers a lot of rides from which to choose every weekend. But then again, my partner "offers" a number of activities that also have to be done to maintain our home and the rental properties that I own. My senior pals need some attention, too. Such is life with competing demands on one's time.

Fortunately, the rides that my club offers are scheduled far in advance, so if there is a ride that I want to go on, I can negotiate the time for the ride and get time off from my partner's never-ending list of "honey-do" projects when I know a date certain.

As I consider rides to go on, I think about the following factors:

* Where is the ride going? -- I enjoy discovering new places that I have not visited before, or riding on new-to-me roads.

* How long will the ride be? -- an estimate of the distance and time of the rides from which I have to choose is provided. If the ride is scheduled for the whole day, then I usually cannot go. I have a lot of things that have to be done crammed into a tight weekend and cannot spare a whole day and leave my partner at home (who will do lots of work while I'm away, making me feel guilty that I was not there to help him.)

* Is it an overnight ride? -- as I have mentioned before, I do not go on overnight rides. The guys like to sit around and drink after dinner. I don't drink alcohol, and though I don't mind if others do, what I do mind is that their tongues get loose when they get intoxicated, and they say things about gay people or about women that I just don't want to be subjected to hearing. So I avoid being in such a situation.

* What distance will the ride cover? -- distance is a major issue for me. Rides over about 200 miles are out. I have a physical condition that tires me faster than the average bear. Riding when tired is unsafe. I will not put myself in that situation.

* What is the purpose of the ride? -- is it a casual ride on back roads and byways, a ride to support a police or fire charity or memorial, or is it a poker run sponsored by another club? I like the casual back roads rides, and have supported more than my share of memorial and charity events. But I don't like poker runs and will not go on them.

* Who is leading the ride? -- every ride leader brings his or her personality to the ride. A ride leader known to "ride aggressively" is not someone who I want to ride with. I don't have any fun trying to keep up all the time. I realize that my riding skills are not the same as others, so I want to "ride my own ride" -- relaxed, casual, and unhurried. I will not go on a ride with someone who I know to ride too fast for my liking.

* What roads may be involved? -- I have learned my lesson. I will not (deliberately) ride on roads that are unpaved, covered with gravel, or that involve stream crossings over fords. I also will not go on rides where I know there will be turns that are too tight and impossible for me to handle. (Believe me, I know my limits!)

* Safety factor -- implied in the above considerations is how safe I think I will be on a ride. That's based on my health, the road conditions, and what I know about the ride leader's attention to safety.

* What's the weather? -- always a last-minute decision, but if I want to enjoy a nice, casual ride, I want to do it when the roads are dry and preferably when it is sunny. I won't go if the roads are wet or if it is raining or rain is predicted. I also have my low-temperature threshold. I will not ride when it is lower than about 40°F (4.5°C). That's about as cold as I can take it, despite all my leathers and gear.

So there you have it -- how I, personally, choose to go on an organized motorcycle ride (or not.) Every biker is different. Some have more time, some have better skills, some don't have a non-riding other-half with a long honey-do list. Most of all, the motto is, "ride and have fun." If I think the fun would be limited for me on a ride due to its purpose, destination, choice of roads, ride leader, or the weather, then I may go for a short ride by myself, or stay home and tackle the honey-do list.

Life is short: make your choices.

Unto Every Biker's Life Falls Some Rain

I work with a bunch of meteorologists.  You know something is wrong when they say, "oops, seems that 'they' got the forecast wrong." Yep, despite a forecast of rain later in the evening yesterday, it began to rain hours before I was scheduled to leave the office -- on my Harley -- for my commute home. Yuck. I hate riding in the rain.

Fortunately, traffic was rather light and people were behaving. That is, I kept a good distance between me and the vehicle in front of me, and no one cut me off. Thank goodness.

I rode steadily. I had plenty of stopping distance for traffic lights. I applied the brakes slowly and evenly when I had to stop.

I came up behind a cop along my way, and began to follow him. He saw me, and drove steadily and slowly such that I could follow safely. He went almost completely on the route to my home, so I felt safe.

I was wearing good, solid boots with lug soles (Wesco Motor Patrol Boots), so I had good traction. The boots resisted road spray so my feet and legs did not get wet. I wore thick leather chaps and a solid leather jacket, with my full-face helmet. I didn't get wet, though my bike sure will need a good cleaning after the rain and road splatter dries.

Oh well... weather is not as predictable as one may think -- even meteorologists get it wrong sometimes. And reading the commentary on my Facebook posting about this situation (from a bunch of meteorologists and allied professionals) is hysterical.

Life is short: ride safe!

Three Things Bikers Expect

I ride my Harley as often as I can, which includes my short commute to work on busy suburban roadways.

There are three things that other drivers do that could kill me if I were not prepared for their thoughtlessness:

1. Three lanes of traffic, riding in the middle lane. A bus is up ahead in the right lane. People keep driving along but as soon as they see the bus slowing down to make a stop, they dart into the middle lane without looking. Some may say that they scan their rearview mirrors, and they might just "scan" but they don't really look. So yesterday, like many other days, I avoided getting clobbered by a nim-nose-ninny by expecting him or her to cut me off. Without fail, they will.

2. People yapping on their cell phones while driving. Despite that behavior being against the law in my state and many others, in their minds, the law applies only to other people. You can often tell who is doing that, because they drive 10mph below the speed limit. Then they react suddenly, or may swerve into another lane (my lane) when they discover that another car is in their way or traffic is slowing for a light or whatever....

Please, hang up and drive! Do not talk on a cell phone while driving. Even if you have a hands-free device, you are still distracted and your driving abilities suffer -- and sometimes us bikers "suffer" the consequences. Turn off your cell phone while driving a vehicle. Honestly, you are not that important, and neither is that call!

3. Animals. Yep, particularly this time of year, it is quite common in the early morning for herds of deer to be along the side of the road. They see your headlight, and you think, "they realize it is a vehicle so they will stay away." Not so. Just yesterday morning, like many mornings, a deer darts into the road, followed by the remainder of the herd. Those animals are dangerous, and won't watch for you so you have to be extra alert to watch for them and be prepared to stop or take evasive maneuvers.

I don't know which is worse -- the four-legged or the two-legged animals that make driving hazardous. I just wish the two-legged variety would pay attention -- completely -- to their driving while operating a 5,000-lb death machine on the road.

Hang up and drive. Really use your mirrors. While your taxes pay for the road so you own it, my taxes do too, and I have as much of a right to use the road safely as you do.

Rant over.

Life is short: pay attention!

Slippery When Wet

An old adage of experienced bikers: If it looks slippery, assume it is.

While autumn is my favorite season, it comes with one of the worst road hazards for motorcyclists: wet leaves on roadways. Wet leaves are worse than ice. At least with ice, you know you have absolutely no traction, and it's not likely you'll be on the road. With wet leaves, it's usually still warm enough to be riding weather, yet you can and you can't have any traction and you don't know which -- so always assume that wet leaves are slippery. Period.

Lately, I have not been riding my Harley very much. We had a stunningly gorgeous weekend, weather-wise, last weekend. However, I had to make my biannual visit to the mother-in-law's, and was stuck in a cage for the entire weekend. Blechhh...

I did ride my Harley to work on Tuesday, but then the rain started again Tuesday evening and rain is forecast for the remainder of this week. Blechhhh....

Unlike some other places, we do not have a "wet season" or "dry season" here in Maryland. It is customary to have rain throughout the whole year, about once a week or so. But we go in cycles of no rain for weeks and then days like these past several weeks, where it rains for several days in a row. Blechhhh....

Wet roads are enough to cause me to think twice about riding. I don't like to ride when visibility is poor, because "cage drivers" can barely see me in broad daylight, much less when the skies are dark and leaden with rain. However, wet roads covered with wet leaves is the decider to make me hop in the truck if I have to go somewhere instead of hop on the saddle of my trusty iron steed.

In doing some research, I found the following information on various websites, but it all said the same thing. Thus, I believe it was pre-written by a knowledgeable author and distributed for publication on these websites. It is useful information. I abide by it, and recommend it:

Riding a motorcycle in slick conditions requires the rider to make every movement s-m-o-o-t-h. Slow down and concentrate on making each input into the bike gentle and gradual. Try to avoid turning the bike while you are passing over obstacles. Reduced traction could cause you to slide. Don't panic if the rear wheel slides a little. It may not feel stable, but as long as the front tire is going where you want it to, physics will hold the bike up.

Besides the misuse of the term 'panic' (which means an irrational response to fear), the content of this article is right on. And that's how I ride: smooth and steady, with very careful application of the brakes when needed.

And I always ride with full protective gear. My cool/cold weather gear includes: solid, tall motorcycle boots with good tread on the soles, layers of clothing for warmth and protective leathers as the outer shell (if not inner, as well), gloves with gauntlets, and a DOT-approved helmet. Always, without exception.

Life is short: ride safe!

Twice Riding

Woo-hoo!  Sunday (yesterday), I spent the day on my Harley having fun!

The day began early with some motor officer buddies who are practicing for a major competition next week. I watched their practice and judged their riding like I would judge it in the actual event (which I will do next week.) It was great to observe such graceful handling of heavyweight motorcycles. I will post photos of the actual competition when I participate in judging it.

Then later in the morning yesterday, I led a motorcycle ride for my club through the Maryland byways and back roads. It was perfect "leather-weather!" Nine brave souls had the courage to follow me on a ride. (I say "courage" because my reputation for getting lost is legendary.)

We swooped through curves, rode up and down gentle sloping hills, and beheld vistas of the late-summer farm fields, barns, horses, and dairy cattle. It seemed like every turn brought another view of my lovely home state that was better that the one before it. I tell ya, it was stunning.

What did I wear? With mild but coolish temperatures, I chose to wear my retro leather chaps over a pair of lightweight leather jeans. I had the leather jeans tucked into Wesco Motor Patrol boots, which are very comfy. On top, I wore my gray short-sleeve leather shirt (with black accents) and my motocross jacket, which has my club colors on the back. I was perfectly warm, but not too hot.

Did anyone say anything to me about my wearing all leather? Nope, except for one guy who admired the shirt and jacket and asked me where I got them.

I had a great late summer but Fall-feeling day on the Harley with my friends.

Life is short: get out and ride!

Cool Weather Riding

The air temperatures around where I live in the DC 'burbs of Maryland have dropped considerably. When I left for work yesterday morning, it was 44F (6.7C)! Whew! Time for a warmer jacket and my warm retro chaps! Gloves! And insulated motorcycle boots!

I love this time of year. Crisp, sunny, dry days with cool, snuggly-with-my-man nights. Perfect.

Anyway, the mornings of just hopping on the Harley and taking off for work in whatever-I-am-wearing (shirt, pants, boots) are over. While it's nice not to have to take more time to put on additional layers and then take them off and secure them upon arrival at my destination, I still love autumn and enjoy what I often refer to as, "leather weather."

Yesterday morning, I tried out my new gray leather motorcycle jacket. It felt great. Lots of room to maneuver yet tight enough to keep the wind out and keep me warm.

As any visitor to the leather jackets section of my website knows, I have a variety of jackets from which to select. The lighter-weight jackets are worn when the temperatures are in the low 70s (22C), the mid-weight jackets are worn when the temps are in the mid-50s to 60s (15C), and the heavier jackets that have zip closures on the wrists and close all the way up to the neck are worn when it's cooler than that.

I plan to ride to work this year up until the temperatures reach freezing. I will not run the risk of hitting a patch of ice, which at the time I leave for work in the morning, I may not see because it is always dark.

But meanwhile, "leather weather" is here! Woo-hoo!

A Day in Gay America

This is the photo I submitted to The Advocate representing my day (yesterday) in America.

I enjoyed a day off and went for a ride on my Harley, leading four friends through spectacularly gorgeous Maryland backroads and byways on a delightful day. Yep, we got slightly lost, but we turned around and found our destination. The ride back was uneventful and equally as stunning in the beauty of my home state's green forests, farmlands, and countryside.

My brother didn't join us. He couldn't find a rental Harley that was available (not until next week). He thought it would not be safe for me to ride on unfamiliar, twisty and hilly roads with a passenger of his size and weight. I agreed with him, though I missed him.

Life is short: be out and open. Enjoy your day in America, gay or not.

Whiny Sport Biker

I ride my Harley to work, and park it in a parking garage near my office. The parking garage has a designated area for motorcycle parking tucked into a corner where cars can't fit. Best part about it, the parking there is free for motorcycles. (I worked to support legislation that assures free motorcycle parking in our county's public parking garages).

I am the first to arrive each day, considering my early work hours. When I leave in the afternoon, I see four or five other bikes in the designated parking area.

On Thursday, when I was leaving, I found a printed note (with no name) left on the seat of my bike whining about how I parked and implying that others couldn't park there. Heck, there was plenty of room on either side of me. Even I, among the most inept at walking his bike in and out of a parking stall, could have parked a clone of my big Harley next to my bike.

Seriously? Hmmm...

Let's revert for a moment to Thursday morning upon my arrival. When I got there, another guy on a sport bike showed up a few minutes after I did, and tried to park next to me but couldn't get his bike where he wanted to go, so he moved over and parked down a ways. Plenty of room. When he dismounted, I asked him, "is my bike in your way?" To that he said, "yeah" and then literally ran away. Like I am some big bad-ass Harley dude who's going to pick a fight with him. Not me, but he wouldn't even give me a chance. He ran away. How cowardly. He couldn't even talk to me or have a reasonable conversation.

I think he was the anonymous whiny note-writer. I sense that he is among those who ride sport bikes who have opinions about those of us who ride Harleys. This belief that I have is grounded in the fact that I have complimented him several times on his bike's paint job and styling. It's interesting and attractive. Not once, however, has he said anything (good or bad) about my bike. And my bike ain't so bad-lookin'!

He probably thinks that Harley owners have a low opinion of sport bike riders. Personally, I don't like sport bikes because of the physical position it puts your body into while operating it -- which to me, appears to be very uncomfortable (all hunched over.) I prefer to sit straight up.

I have no ill-will toward operators of sport bikes, though I notice that most sport bike riders do not dress appropriately and seldom wear long pants and motorcycle boots.  And, unfortunately, the younger operators tend to be more likely to ride way above the speed limit and zig-zag around traffic (which gives all motorcyclists a bad rep)...but I digress.

Seriously, if you have a beef with someone, try talking to them about it and don't leave a whiny anonymous note. Kiddy stuff.

Mr. Whiny McWhinersen (borrowed from another blogger who I follow): get a life. Really. If you have something to say, talk to me in person. If you don't know who I am, you could leave a note and say, "call me on (number)" and leave your name. Don't hide behind an anonymous note and leave it on the seat of my bike. 'K?

Life is short: be a man.

Riding

I enjoy riding my Harley, and being a member of a group that has many organized rides -- over 100 per year. I have the pleasure of leading some of those rides sometimes, as well as riding in a safety position in the back of the group (known as "sweep.") I wish I could ride with them more often; alas, my time is tight and since my partner cannot ride with me, I am often torn between being out riding vs. spending time with the man who means the world to me (and fulfilling his never-ending "honey-do" list! LOL!)

Here are some photos of me leading a ride last Saturday. I'm the guy up front in the first three pics. Last pic is of the bikes behind my friend who took the pictures. He has a camera mounted on his handle bars.

Riding a motorcycle with an organized group is fun. Being a leader in the group is enjoyable, too. The spirit is "ride and have fun." That's what it's all about. Doesn't matter if I'm gay, or that I am not the most skilled rider, or that I easily get lost. I am part of a group who share a common interest.

Life is short: ride and have fun!

Out Riding

Whoo-hoo! Two weekend days in a row, I'm out riding my Harley! Pardon the dust in the bloggetory, but I'm rollin' down the road looking for corn at a roadside stand... so many tassled corn stalks observed yesterday on my ride that went extremely well, I am now seeking a stand where I can buy some fresh corn for my partner to enjoy. (I can't eat it, but that's another story). Man, what a gorgeous weekend!

Actually, today marks the eighth day in a row I have ridden my bike, starting with last Sunday, and every weekday this past week to commute to work, then yesterday, and now today! I plan to continue the commuting pattern all of this coming week, too. I love summer... despite the heat, and provided storms happen at night when they occur, then I ride every.single.day. Who can beat that! Yippie!

See you tomorrow! I'm out ridin'!

Life is short: RIDE! (In long pants and boots! Leave the sneakers for the gym!)

Relaxing to Enjoy the Ride

I often include comments on this blog with suggestions to stop obsessing (such as whether you should wear boots or leather garments in public), to chill out (relax, stop worrying about stupid stuff), and enjoy the ride (smile, be happy, etc.)

I realized that I had not been following my own advice. Today (Saturday), I am leading a motorcycle ride. It's supposed to be a short, fun, just "get out and ride" kinda ride. No specific destination to go to. Just put your boots up on the highway pegs, lean back, set the throttle on cruise at a moderate speed, and enjoy the scenery of the Maryland byways through farmlands and small towns that have historical connections to the U.S. Civil War.

But I take things too seriously sometimes. (Some good friends call it "conscientious"). To prepare for this ride, I got out on my Harley last Sunday and began to ride, thinking that I would ride along and use the trip log on the GPS to track my ride, then save it, and use it for the "official" ride.

Well, no such luck. As I was riding along, I took a turn that led to another turn and before I knew it, I had doubled back almost to my origin. That is, I got lost on familiar roads. Heck, if I get lost on roads that I ride often, how in the heck am I going to lead a ride for a large group to places that are interesting, and have the ride take more than a half-hour and not go through rivers, fords, or involve mountain-climbing?

I had hoped that a buddy would be riding with me last week, but he couldn't make it. If I had a passenger, I might have pressed on. But it was exceptionally hot and I was tired and frustrated, so I gave up and rode back home. (Well, I took some pictures of my new All American 401 Firefighter Boots that I was breaking in that day for posting to my website, so the ride wasn't a complete loss.)

But that was all the time I had to attempt to pre-ride the ride. With our usual weekday routine -- we both work, I cook dinner, then my partner and I eat -- we usually have only a couple hours after dinner before we go to bed before 9pm (and I usually go to a meeting or two in the evenings during the week, to boot). No way I can find three hours after my work day ends to get out and ride.

So the anxiety was building. I was obsessing, worrying, and wondering just how I was going to lead a ride if I didn't know where I was going to go?

I got onto the computer and began trying to plan a ride. I found the motor company's on-line ride planner. It worked well, and I thought I figured out a really nice ride. But then I couldn't save it, or print it out. All the effort I put into it was for naught -- all due to some computer problem. This situation was making me even more stressed. (Turns out, the ride planning tool is not compatible with Win7. Who knew?)

The internal fret-meter continued. Self-pressure was mounting. Then a thoughtful, caring, special sister just happened to call me on Thursday afternoon for a routine catch-up chat. She noticed some tension in my voice, and thought my concern was about my partner's health condition. I explained that as of now, he's okay and we're in a waiting pattern, so that wasn't the reason I was stressed. Then I told her about my concern about the ride planning.

After she lectured me about getting my priorities straight (i.e., it is correct to be worried about my partner's health; it is not right to be worried about a simple 3-hour motorcycle ride), she helped me to refocus myself. She was absolutely right.

Friday morning, I approached the matter anew, with a more up-beat attitude. I found an old computer with Windows XP, and found that the ride planning tool worked fine on that one. I plotted the ride, printed it out, shared it with my sweep road captain, and followed it with Google Earth and Google Maps (satellite and street view.) It looks good... theoretically.

The attitude adjustment was critical. So what if we get out, ride, and make some wrong turns? As long as we don't end up in a river or on a roof of a building, we'll be okay. I have been on all the roads that I want to ride at one time or another, but not in this particular route. But that's okay... we'll try it, and if it works, that's great. If it doesn't, as long as we remain upright with the rubber side down and smiles on our faces, we'll be fine.

Life is short: don't sweat the small stuff.

The Withering Stare

I rode my Harley to my brother's home yesterday for a crab feast. I saw the family, had some crabs, gave a few kiddos who were dressed appropriately (long pants, closed-toe shoes) a ride on "big bad Uncle's Harley," had a few more crabs, gave a sister a ride on the Harley (which was a hoot to watch), then picked out a half-dozen crabs and put them in a bag to take home for my partner, and took off. (He doesn't go to gatherings of my family because he prefers quiet -- and my family [bless their souls] aren't "quiet" by any means.)

As I was riding home, I stopped at a red signal. I noticed the headlight of another bike in my left mirror. This dude, who couldn't have been more than 25, rolled up next to me on a beautiful Harley. Unfortunately, the kid was wearing shorts and flip flops. On a Harley! Arrrrggghh!

I turned and gave that guy a really long, hard, stare. I pointed to those things on his feet, and mouthed the words, "flip-flops? Are you kidding?" then did one of those gestures that in America means "crazy" -- circling the finger while pointing to the head.

The kid just sat there, pretending not to notice, but I saw him look down at his feet then back at me then try to look away.

I noticed that the light was seconds from turning green, so I pulled in the clutch, dropped the transmission into first gear, and as the light changed, slowly let out the clutch for a smooth take-off.

Meanwhile, at the same time the kid noticed me getting ready to take off, he also put his bike in gear, but I think he forgot to pull in the clutch, or didn't pull it all the way -- anyway, he stalled his bike! The bike jerked a few cm forward, then died.

I hate to admit it, but I just about fell off my own bike laughing.

Goes to show 'ya, the Biker Lords exist -- perhaps the kid learned a lesson. Minimally, it's not to pretend to be a cool biker and ride up on a motorcycle next to me and try to get by wearing shorts and flip-flops without my noticing. Withering stares work! LOL!

Life is short: real bikers wear long pants and boots. No exceptions.