Thursday, October 6, 2011

Can A Masculine Man Be Gay?

Yep, it continues -- the ongoing queries entered into search engines about masculine men and sexual orientation. Here is one of the latest searches:

This is yet a different twist on the age-old question that directs many visitors to this blog. "Can a masculine man "still" be gay?"

Simple answer is, "yes." Masculine traits vary for each man. Some men are hyper-masculine -- some have a very deep voice, lots of facial hair, are muscular, and walk with a kind of a swagger. There are other types of masculine men who do not display all of the most obvious (and perhaps "looked-for") masculine behaviors. What I am saying is, it is a range.

Gay men display various behaviors that range from a few on the hyper-masculine end of the scale to a few on the hyper-effeminate end of the scale, with the scale "tilted" if you will toward gay men being a bit more effeminate than masculine in their behavior. But most gay guys are in the middle, displaying both characteristics of a masculine man as well as some softer behaviors which some people might characterize as being effeminate.

Trouble is, many television shows that include gay characters have those characters display the most "queeny," effeminate behaviors. So the media causes many people to believe that all gay men are frilly-froo-froo effeminate queens.

That's not the case. Just as there are gay men who are effeminate, there are gay men who look, act, and behave like any other guy. However, you won't see him making out with a woman, enjoying himself at a (straight) strip club, or oogling women on the street. But you may indeed see him at a local sports bar cheering on the local team, or playing sports himself in a recreational league, or riding a motorcycle, sailing a boat, chasing children on a playground (e.g., being an uncle), or a zillion other things that guys do.

So the answer to this query again remains, "yes, a masculine man can be gay." The thing is, he's probably very good at hiding his sexual orientation.

For more on this topic, see some past posts on this blog.

Life is short: be who you are.

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