Monday, December 8, 2008

Do Masculine Gay Men Scare Masculine Straight Men?

I have been following links back to sources of internet content that link to my website or this blog. Some of what I am finding is amusing, some of it indicates that the writer is nothing more than a grade-school dropout, some of it is rants from the Internet Generation, but some of it indicates to me that masculine straight men are afraid of masculine gay men, especially masculine gay men like me who ride a Harley-Davidson motorcycle and who enjoy wearing boots and leather.

I can't quite figure it out, but I am observing that there are a lot of people -- gay and straight -- who are insecure.

Insecure gay men demonstrate their insecurity by behaving in a way that gay people refer to as "drama queens." And man, there are many of them out there. But by referring to them as drama queens, that's how gay people put them in their place -- just little twits who should be ignored.

Masculine straight men demonstrate their insecurities by how vocal they become to ridicule gay men who choose to wear masculine attire, such as boots and leather. Some of these insecure men also have demonized gay men who ride a Harley (or any motorcycle, for that matter). They make
broad generalizations about gay men who are confident in their choices of motorcycle to ride and biker attire to wear.

Some have written that gay men only like motorcyclists who are clean-cut and wear designer jeans. Oh, gimme a break. That's another indicator of stereotyping, which is a sure sign of intellectual ineptitude (or just plain old lack of any intelligence), as well as insecurity.

Face it, straight guys -- there are masculine gay men out here, too. Some of us are the proverbial "guy next door" who happens to live with the man he loves. I am one of those guys. I care for my family, neighbors, and friends. I have a full-time job, a home, and a life. I volunteer a lot to serve my community in various ways. And yeah, I ride a Harley in boots (always) and leather (when it is cool/cold.) And I love my one-and-only man.

Did I choose a Harley because "it's the gay bike?" Ha... like most bikers, I moved up to a Harley after riding Japanese bikes for years, finding them to be unreliable. Great training wheels, but when one is a serious motorcyclist, then he's going to choose a serious bike: a Harley.

And I know I'm not alone. I've made some great friends who are masculine men, who live with their partners, have a life, and contribute to their community in various ways. I've met them through a mutual interest in boots, but that really was only a thread that led to an introduction. My masculine friends (you know who you are) have nothing to prove, yet demonstrate their confidence and security each and every day by living with (and sometimes coping with) others who are insecure and attempt to ridicule them, or engage in being negative. I gain strength from their friendship and their positive, secure attitude toward life and those they love -- gay and straight.

So that's about it: I conclude that some masculine straight men are afraid of masculine gay men, but that is because they are insecure, and won't admit it. So go ahead and link to my blog or my website and ridicule me. I'm man enough to take it. I quit worrying about school-yard bullies in second grade.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Hello
I am not a motorcyclist but I am glad you brought this issue up regarding masculinity and being gay and the perception of that from a str8 man -I hear that from some str8 guys I work with -it angers me a little double standards and all

Anonymous said...

In my opinion, the root of this is the stereotype. Being just a regular guy, I find that not fitting in with the stereotype of what I believed to be gay was a hindrance to my coming out. I denied it for years thinking things like, "But I don't like to wear woman's clothes. . but I like cars. . I like to get dirty. . I like to fish." After awhile, I just realized that the only thing gay really dictates is who you are programmed to fall in love with and you triggers passion within my chemically. Once I accepted that who I was was not simply gay, I relaxed a bit and have enjoyed the many great guys who share many of the qualities that I appreciate in a man. As for straight guys, I've found them to be "impressed" because I don't fit that stereotype and its funny how most of them have become ok with gay people because of their relationship with me. People are people, and whether straight or gay, they are going to do their own thing, and if it fits in with the stereotype, well, then it does, but I believe that the majority of gay men out there do not fit the stereotype and simply blend in to society without anyone noticing their sexuality. In the grand scheme of things, a person's sexuality should really be nobody's concern.