Living Well is the Best Revenge

English clergyman George Herbert is credited for coining this phrase. I decided to use that phrase for this blog post which is about some observations on my past life and former employer, and why that phrase came to mind as I am attending a major national conference this week. In fact, I am scheduled to make a presentation during the conference today.

The attendees of this conference, exhibitors, and fellow speakers are from the "small world" of my profession. When I got out at the closest Metro station to the hotel where the conference is being held, I walked to the curb to wait for a shuttle bus. Standing there was a long-time colleague from a large federal agency with which I worked closely for over 25 years. She gave me a hug, and was truly delighted to see me (and me too, in return).

When I walked into the hotel, the Executive Director of the professional association sponsoring the conference greeted me, gave me a big hug, and bought me a Coke. She is always so nice, and we have truly appreciated a deep friendship in addition to a professional relationship.

Dozens of people greeted me, shook my hand, and each and every one said that they were planning on attending my presentation today. No pressure....

I met with people and attended sessions at the conference, and enjoyed being "back in my element." As I was leaving for the day, though, I saw the person who was my last boss at my former employer. I did not speak with her, but just seeing her made my stomach turn.

I got to thinking: when I left my former employer, my former boss did as much as she could to make my life miserable. She attempted to turn former colleagues who I once thought were friends against me. She did not lie (as far as I can tell), but did not refute rumors and innuendo about why I left. She engaged in a paranoid campaign to destroy any evidence of my twenty years of professional contributions.

I think she would have been happy if my life had fallen apart after leaving that job. Heck, she tried to make that happen.

If I were a vengeful person, I could have done a number of things in return for such treatment. Instead, however, I steeled my resolve. I concentrated on caring for my uncle through the winter of his life. I leaned on and received support from my partner and my family. That's when "AZ" became my best friend -- he was so exceptionally supportive during that time.

Being the saver that I am, I had enough financial resources that even without doing consulting during that period, I could have survived just fine. Then I got a job, got promoted, and am continuing to do quite well now. Sure, I had a pile of doggy-doo hurled at me, but I fended it off and rose above the fray.

While at the conference, I heard some awful stories about my former employer and some relationships that some of its representatives significantly damaged within the last month. I am very saddened to hear that. Unfortunately, incompetence reigns. That was the main reason why I left: the Peter Principle (people rise to their level of incompetence) definitely applied.

It was way past time to move on when I did, and I sure am glad I did so. I am living well because I have a wonderfully supportive partner, a loving and caring family, truly terrific friends, and I just love life! I have a great home, an embracing community, and feel that my contributions in the variety of things that I do are appreciated. It's true: living well is the best revenge. When I see my former boss at the conference today, I will flash her the biggest smile of all. It will be sorta my way of saying, "nah-nee-nah-nee-hoo-hoo."

Life is short: live it well.