Harness: If you don't have a chest, don't waste your money on a harness. You're just highlighting what you don't have. If you want a harness, go light on the studs. Buckles look better than studs. Clean designs work best. Make sure the straps are at least 2 inches wide. Thin straps are cheaper -- and they certainly look it. The wider the strap, the more masculine the look.
Leather Jocks: Seldom would anyone wear a leather jock in public. And if you're in private, anything covering your privates will likely come off rather quickly. Generally speaking, you don't need one and do not have much use for one. Spend your money on other leather gear you will wear more often.
Leather Shorts: I have never seen anyone be able to pull off wearing leather shorts by themselves. (It is possible to wear leather shorts as "underchaps", but that's different from wearing shorts alone). Shorts accentuate bad features, look weird with boots (or worse, shoes or sneakers). Only body-builders can seem to pull off wearing leather shorts, and unless you are one, spend your money on other leather gear.
Doo-Dads on Duty Belts: So, okay, you like to wear a uniform. But keep the duty belt simple. Perhaps a pair of handcuffs in a case, a key chain, and a maybe a mag light or mag holder to store your cigarettes or cigars. That's it. Don't buy every doo-dad in the Quartermaster Catalog just because they offer it. More than a few "duty gear" items on a duty belt looks goofy.
Gauntlets: Rarely seen any more, gauntlets are thick leather pieces that are worn on your wrists. They can vary in length from 4" to 8" or so. Generally, gauntlets can inhibit your ability to bend your wrists thus affecting simple activities like opening a door or unzipping your fly. Unless you are a Renaissance Fair participant, don't get them. You don't need them.
Boot Chains: Boot chains are worn like a bracelet around a left or right boot. Don't get them. They look weird and just are not worn in the leather fetish community.
Cell Phone Holster: DON'T wear a cell phone on your belt! It is not a badge of honor. You're not that important. If you must carry a cell phone, put it in a pocket and set it to vibrate. By all means, don't let a cell phone ring tone go off in a leather bar. Men don't want to hear those noises in a bar (or anywhere else, for that matter.) And if you have an incoming call, go outside if you have to take it. Nothing is more annoying that a guy jabbering on a cell phone in a leather bar.
After Shave or Cologne: Real men don't wear scents. Leathermen prefer the smell of leather and other men -- not smelly stuff from a bottle. Do not wear after-shave or cologne with leather. Before you go out, take a shower with unscented soap, and if you use deodorant, use an unscented variety. Men like how clean men smell -- not dirt or grunge, either.
The two things that are most annoying are cell phone holsters and scents. Back in the early '90s when cell phones were more rare, it was sometimes something that some guys wanted to display, to sorta say "I'm important; I've arrived." Well nowadays, when cell phones are ubiquitous, carrying one on a belt is just plain dumb. And how annoying is it when you hear one of those silly things play some stupid ring tone, like a snip of techno music? Aw, come on, you really aren't that important. Set it to vibrate and put it away.Scents are marketed to make one "smell" more virile ... again, all marketing hype. Men want to smell a man and his leather, if you're fortunate enough to get that close. Wash that stuff off, and don't wear it with leather. You don't need it, and other guys will appreciate how you and your leather smell.
Tomorrow, I will wrap up this series. Check back!
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