Patience Pays Off

If I have learned anything in my 15+ years with my partner, is that patience with him when he becomes stubborn eventually results in things working out.

When I got my new Harley at the end of May, my partner pitched a fit about the new bike being so much bigger than my old one, and that he couldn't park his car in our garage because there wouldn't be enough room if the bike were parked against the back wall where the other one had been parked when I had it.

When I built the house, I intentionally built a garage that was 5' (1.6m) wider and 6' (2m) deeper than standard. Our garage has always been able to accommodate my truck, my partner's sedan, and my old Harley.

But Mr.-insists-that-it-won't-fit would not permit me to even try to park my new bike against the back wall. He wouldn't hear of it. I know when he gets like that, just to let it go. (A word that my family uses for this condition is "testadura" -- hard headed.)

So all summer, I parked the Harley in the bay where my truck went, and left my truck in the driveway.

Well, eventually my partner re-thought his position, and we had a calm conversation about it this past week. He agreed that if we re-arranged some things, including some shelving and storage, that perhaps we could return to keeping all three vehicles in the garage.

So that's what I did this afternoon. I built some more shelves, took down some others, and reorganized everything so there is room for what we have to store in the garage, plus the Harley, plus our two vehicles. Now it all fits. Best yet, we got rid of some junk that just had to go, and had been accumulating.

With time, patience, and a cool head, I'm happy that everything worked out as I had hoped. I won't have to scrape frost, ice, or snow off of my truck this coming winter. My Harley will be warm, dry, and secure, yet available when the weather is suitable for a winter ride.

I have learned that when this "testadura" characteristic is demonstrated -- either by my partner or some others (perhaps in my family sometimes or with others in the community with whom I meet)... to step back, take a deep breath, and let it go for a while. Revisiting later may produce a better, more optimal result. Fighting about it certainly won't resolve anything. In fact, arguing may cause the other person to become recalcitrant and refuse to consider compromise. So taking a pause, letting the fire cool, and allowing (in this case) my partner to think that the change in position was his idea resulted in a positive outcome for both him and me.

Life is too short to fight about stuff like that. I knew that if I waited quietly and did not push matters, that eventually, things would turn around. They did. He's happy, I'm happy, and life is good.