Tuesday, November 25, 2008

What Friendship Really Means

This is a brief shout-out to my best friend, soul-mate, and eighth brother, AZ: THANK YOU!

I met him when he sent me a message via the "Boots on Line" board on which we both participate from time to time. From an initial email exchange to a conversation -- then many conversations -- by phone, to meeting and greeting in person when he returns to the East Coast to visit his family, we have developed a bond that is deep, loyal, and highly valued.

Today I had a tough problem to deal with. Saying that the problem would cause distress in our household would be an understatement. It had to do with some well-known people who wanted to drop in on our Thanksgiving pot-luck on short notice. Their presence would create media interest, which we didn't want. The situation was spinning out of control. I was getting hyper about it and how my partner would feel.

AZ responded to an email that I sent to him and called me within a minute (literally) of its receipt. He helped me think through the situation and refocus my concerns and priorities on reality, and gave me practical, sound advice.

This is what a best friend can do -- one who knows you and can be right there for you when you need him. One who can give you honest feedback without the least bit of criticism. One who can empathize with how you're feeling and put matters into perspective. And best yet, offer a solution.

Don't get me wrong -- my partner remains my life-long man. My friend, AZ, though, can offer advice and support in a different way, since his support is that of what a friend really means. AZ loves me for "me", with all my faults and challenges, with my "up times" and "down times," too. The measure of a real friend is knowing without a doubt that he will be there, without criticism or drama, to listen, and to offer advice when requested.

Man, AZ, I couldn't have handled this situation today without you. Now don't you go holding me on a pedestal, 'cause it's gonna break. I'm nowhere near perfect, but I am much, much better because I have you in my life. Because I count on you and you respond with care, encouragement, and love.

What a treasure it is to have you, and how much the world is blessed by your mere presence on this Earth, and for your soul.

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