Thursday, January 6, 2011

Leatherdude and the Queen

What happened yesterday at home during a delivery was amusing to me, so I thought I would share.

Yesterday, while working at home, I had a new mattress and box spring set delivered.  The old set in our master bedroom had seen better days, and had become lumpy and miserable to sleep on.  After 20 years, the old set was overdue for a replacement.  We did our research, shopped around, and got what we thought was a good deal on a new set.  We had to do the routine of "go down the street and get a better offer," then bring it back and get an even better offer.  Damn, I wish buying mattresses wasn't so complicated -- sorta like buying a car.  Negotiate, negotiate -- but with that back-and-forthing, we saved $320 off the original "sale" price.

But I digress....  The delivery arrived, and as promised, the new mattress and box spring were carried by two very-efficient Hispanic guys up the stairs, and they carried away our old box spring/mattress set, which was part of the deal (haul-away service is great, because those things are heavy and hard to lug around.)

A minute after the delivery truck arrived, a guy showed up, driving a late-model luxury automobile (lest I offend drivers of Audis, I'll just refer to it as an automobile)... and he was dressed-to-the-nines in a suit, even with a pocket square.  Coif-du-jour, shined dress shoes, smelly cologne... the works.

There are a lot of different kinds of gay men in the world.  Some of them are rather effeminate in observable behavior, and some of us refer to those who act that way as a "queen."  At least, that's my partner's frequent appellation. It was one of these guys who got out of that car and came to my door.  The suited-guy was obviously gay.  My Gaydar may not be 100%, but in this case, there was no question.

So there I was at the door... decked out in full leather (shirt, jeans, boots; no hat.)  When he saw me, he looked at me up and down, then stepped back.  He asked, "is this your home?  Are you (name)?"  He was pleasant enough, but it was amusing to me that he had not (yet) been met at the door by someone decked out in full leather.

He bustled in, and introduced himself.  He said that "he was here to please."

Then it was like he had an attack of ADHD -- he let out a slew of statements like, "oh, what a gorgeous home!  What a nice view!  Is that a park in your back yard?  What an enormous kitchen!  Aren't those flowers on your table beautiful!  That's obviously a home-made table cloth on your dining room table with that lace.  Those oriental carpets are fabulous!" ... on and on... I tell 'ya, it was tiring to me to keep up with all this banter.  He didn't even let me try to answer him as he kept babbling on more and more.

He offered to make the bed.  That's part of the "set up" that is offered with delivery service.  I told him that we didn't need him to do that, and that my partner and I have it all covered.  I further told him that we had to wash the mattress protector that came with the bed before putting on the sheets and blanket, and that it wouldn't be a problem to make up the bed later.

... then I couldn't resist and said, "after we make the bed, my partner and I are anxious to try it out... can't wait!"   His eyes widened... but he got the message and politely excused himself.

I shouldn't laugh at such encounters, but it's all part of my life, as a work-at-home leatherdude.

Life is short:  say Grrrrrrrr!


Straitjacketed said...

You and your dress suit prejudice!

Booted Harleydude said...

SJ, yessir: not my cup of tea. As us Yanks say, "bleccchhh."