Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Statement of Limits

I have received some messages lately that caused me to think that I have to restate my limits clearly:  I am committed to my partner as my one-and-only man.  I do not meet other guys who are interested in my boots, leather, or (ahem)... other activities.

I am flattered in a way that people are interested in me that way.  I appreciate it.  However, my limits are very strict.  While I do not wish to disappoint anyone, these are the facts of life when it comes to me:  "I'm Taken."

If someone may be traveling my direction (i.e., to the Washington, DC, area) and IF I may be available, I may arrange to meet for an early dinner.  I'm definitely not a night-owl or weekend bar-hopper.

Or if someone lives locally and wants to go for a motorcycle ride, let me know

But that's it.  My partner and I do not host guests unrelated to us (and if my partner had his way, we wouldn't host anyone at all ... but his mother and my family always have an exception to that rule.)

I don't give tours of my boot collection or let others come over and try on leathers.  That may be innocent enough, but my partner doesn't like visitors (he is very antisocial) and I love him, so I don't force the issue.  He doesn't want it and therefore, I turn down such requests.

I know that it is hard to find someone who shares similar interests in the rather narrow intersection of being gay and liking boots and leather.  But I'm not your guy, and I won't be.

I have had temptations, and I'm human.  The only way I can affirm my enduring commitment to my one and only man is to state, publicly and privately, that he's the one, and the only one, with whom I share intimate activities.  I adhere to that statement by my behavior: I don't stray.  Even when I travel (which is not often), I may meet someone for a friendly meal, or "for coffee" (though I don't drink the stuff), but that's that.

I truly wish that everyone could have the relationship that I have with my beloved, one-of-a-kind man.  Our relationship is built on trust.  Trust is earned every day by everything that I do -- or in some cases, do not do.  I will not betray the trust my partner has invested in me by doing anything that will cause him to question my commitment to him, as he does not do anything that causes me to question his commitment to me.

I realize that I am among those whose limits are most narrow, and for that I have no apology.  It is how I am wired, and how I behave.  After all...

Life is short:  show those you love that you love them (by how you behave in all actions you take).

No comments: