Sunday, April 1, 2012

While Sipping a Latte, Surfing With My Smartphone

Whiling away the hours here at the local hot-spot coffee destination, sipping a Venti-Trenti Latte (with soy milk, of course), I was surfing on my new smartphone, and what did I see? Such a fantastically stylish find in men's dress footwear!

Aren't these boots from Allen Edmonds cool? Notice the ventilation in the stylish design? Smooth leather sole, lace-up, dress-shoe appearance. Who would know these are boots?

I used the smartphone's "find this product" app and its GPS directed me to the nearest Allen Edmonds store in downtown DC.

I gulped down my latte and drove my newly-leased Lexus LS600h L sedan right there. It only took an hour since traffic was light. Easy! I found a valet in front of the store. He promised he would take good care of my Lexus. I tossed him the keys and peered inside the store.

I was wondering if they would allow a guy wearing a cheap thousand-dollar suit with a spot on his three-hundred-dollar silk tie in the door. But they saw my smartphone attached with a holster to my belt, so they knew that I was alright.

An associate showed me around. Wow, what fantastic shoes! And boots! I spent hours trying on all the different styles and designs. The associate was exceptionally attentive. He pampered me by bringing me another fresh soy latte.

A few hours later, I charged a pittance of some US$2,000 on my Amex for five pairs of the latest designs in men's footwear -- one for each day of the week! I called the valet to bring the Lexus around. I accepted the kind offer of the associate to carry my products to my car, and drove home. While driving, I couldn't resist sending tweets to my friends about my great find in value footwear!

Hmmm... I should have dropped into to Nordstrom's on my way home to be measured and fitted for at least three suits. My current suits are so ratty. I've been wearing them for over six months! But I was so excited about the shoes, I couldn't wait to get home and show them to my partner! I'll go get the suits tomorrow.

I can't wait to wear this stylish new footwear and suits to the latest social gathering here in guppieville! That event is a wine-tasting fundraiser to save the blue-footed boobies of Southern Chile. Such a noble cause.

Read on...

Yeah, right. April fools! The fundraiser is for polar bears! LOL! Gotcha!

Life is short: wear real boots, and leather while you're at it. And if you think that I lease a car that costs over $112,000, then I have a bridge that I can sell you in Arizona. Or Sydney. Or both....

No comments: