How Rich Are You?

This was an actual question that someone sent to me recently.  I have not communicated with him before. His first email to me said, "nice boots... how rich are you?"  He was from somewhere in the United States.

How rich am I?

I will answer it this way:  I am richer than I could ever imagine....

I have a wonderful partner who cares for me deeply, and tenderly looks after me.  He is my rock.  He keeps me focused, strong, and positive.  He makes sure that I am safe, well, and protected.  He loves me unconditionally.  He is a testament to strength, fortitude, endurance, and faith.  He is the foundation of my soul.  What other words may I use?  How does one measure his richness by his blessings of his best half?

I am rich with the love and support from family.  They nurture me, care for me, love me, and keep me sane and well-grounded.  All of my siblings, nieces, nephews, "greats," cousins, aunts, uncles ... the whole fam-damily -- as many as we are -- we are who we are because of our bond of blood.  My siblings, in particular, are a testament to what love is all about.  We all are different in many ways.  However, overall, our bond is deep, enduring, and its richness is undescribable.

I am rich with strong bonds of enduring friendship with people who know what a real friend is all about.  They do so many things to show their love.  Some of my friends have done that for me for over 50 years, and some more recently.  It has been said that you can measure how rich you are by the strength of your bonds of friendship.  I do not take these bonds lightly.  I do what I can to extend myself to caring for my friends as they care for me.  Each and every day I am made richer by these wonderful, thoughtful, caring souls.

I am rich with learning patience every day. I care for my 96-year-old aunt who has Alzheimer's Disease, as well as general old-age infirmities. Under the clouded thoughts and occasional blank stares lies a woman who has done a lot in her own life, and who loves me deeply. This experience of enabling her to continue to live on her own terms, in her own home, with activities and actions that keep her life meaningful enrichen me in ways that I cannot describe, and make me a better person. I have learned how to listen better, to observe better, and how to be a much more patient man.

I am rich with the ability to extend caring to a large network of senior pals. Helping them out, taking them to get groceries, fixing things and doing home repairs, preparing tax returns... these people are the net that sustain my life of voluntarism and my heart, which makes me richer than anything else: the ability to extend yourself to make someone else's life better makes one rich in his soul.

I am rich with community.  I live in an exciting place.  Right outside the door (almost) of the Capital of the United States.  I live in a state (Maryland) that is thoughtful in its approach and acceptance of my partner and my relationship (and isn't hateful, hurtful, and backward as some other states).

I live with rich diversity. My local government is provided by a county, not a city. The county is strong and vibrant.  Its government is inclusive.  It listens.  It responds.  It may take some whacks on the proverbial head to get some local elected officials and county leaders to listen ... but they do.  We're all in this together, and the richness of my community composed of almost a million residents who hail from all corners of the world demonstrates how diversity makes us all stronger and better as a people.

I am rich with strong faith.  I have deep faith and belief in powers beyond my own.  I have faith in humanity, civility, and what's right -- rather than what's wrong.  I believe....

I am rich with a job that I love.  I enjoy working.  I enjoy the heck out of doing what I do.  Words cannot describe how rich one feels when one wakes each morning and says, "oh, goodie!  I get to go to work today!  Yippie!"  (Seriously, I am insanely happy with my employment....)

Materially, I have enough resources to live comfortably, in a nice house that we built, and to have things that make life fun, like my Harley.  I owe no debt.  I do not carry a balance on any credit cards.  I live life responsibly.  I practice financial responsibility.  Because I have managed my resources well, I have had sufficient discretionary funds to buy some boots and leather items from time to time.  But I do not spend money that I don't have.

I am also rich by means of measurement with many other intangibles.  Seriously, to me, that is what makes life "rich."  It's not money or things.  It's people.  As they told George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life, "no man is a failure who has friends" and he was "the richest man in town."

Yep, I consider myself to be among the richest men in town ... all because of the relationships with the people who make my life that way.

Life is short:  cherish your family and your friends.  They are, after all, what makes life rich and rewarding.

Friends for Life Terrorize the Old 'Hood

Last night, for the 38th year in a row, 14 of my friends from Junior High School and I, along with spouses, children, and grandchildren, went Christmas Caroling in the neighborhood where we grew up.  It was a blast!

While we sing off key, our spirit was enthusiastic and our joy was fantastic.  I got a huge "high" from doing this -- for so long, so many years: so much fun.

We did not go as far as we did 38 years ago.  But we saw some of our former neighbors, including a woman who babysat for me and my family when we were kids.  She is 92 now, and still lives on her own in the same old house I remember.

After getting a bit hoarse and not tolerating the cold as well as we once did (though I remember complaining about the cold back in 1972), we went to the house that one of the members of our group lives in now -- and still in the same old neighborhood -- right next door to the house in which I grew up.  My friend had bought the house from his parents, and has raised his family there.  How nice.

We laughed, told wild stories, and even pulled taffy while eating too much.  What great fun.  I regret that my partner wasn't with me, but he hates crowds.  I got home way too late, and woke early to write and post this message while seeing my partner off for a drive to pick up his mother who lives 200 miles away.  She will spend Christmas with us when he brings her back in the middle of the coming week.

BTW, I wore a pair of thick leather jeans with a flannel shirt and a leather bomber jacket, black Wesco harness boots and leather gloves -- it was cold!  And before you ask, no one said a thing about the leather.  They all know me, and know that I wear leather regularly.  It was waaaay too cold to ride my Harley, plus the streets were a bit icy from the remnants of a spit of snow we got a couple days ago, so I drove my truck over there, and was glad I had a pair of "snow tires" on my feet (the Vibram lug soles) when I walked outside on the snow & ice.

Following is a YouTube video of a song that is my "signature tune" -- that my friends turn to me to sing the  verse while they chime in (in very bad Italian) during the chorus.  The tune is Tu scendi dalle stelle which means You Come Down From The Stars.  It is an old Italian folk song, sung at Christmas.  I remember singing it with my family while we were decorating our tree, baking cookies, and especially while visiting Nonna (Grandma).

Life is short:  Buon Natale!

Brother From Another Mother

This is a brief shout-out to the man I refer to as my eighth brother, my brother from another mother.  We have much in common.  I admire his honesty, integrity, intelligence, and charm.

I regret that I do not get to see him very much, because he lives in Arizona and I live two thousand miles away in Maryland.  However, we speak on the phone and exchange email often.

I imagine that he is busy preparing for Christmas at his church, and caring for his many friends.  His heart warms my own.  His tender caring is a treasure to hold close.

So today on this blog, I express my warmest best wishes to my bestest bud, my brother from another mother, and a man who leads a good, decent life through his actions and extensions of his love.  He is a model of decency and integrity who I try to emulate in my own actions and my life. 

Life is short:  cherish your friends and hold them close.

Classic Bamaboy

I have the distinct honor and privilege of having developed a very close friendship with a guy who has quite a reputation for producing high-quality photos of some of his boots.  Striking, masculine, classy, and with style ... and with a charm unique to this guy whose self-deprecation belies his intelligence.  Smart as a whip, he is, but I shan't say more, else it will go to his head.

The guy I am talking about goes by "Bamaboy".  Yeah, he lives in Alabama, but is a man of the world.  Quick-witted and skilled, he continues to blow me away with his creativity and artistry.  Ooops, there I go again....

It was kinda funny how our friendship developed, but I'm glad it did.  I am also pleased to have met him in person -- and he told me that I'm the only one from the "boots gang" at hotboots/BOL who he has met in person.  He is a very private guy.  He is honorable, good to his family and loved-ones, and honest as the day is long.  Our values are parallel, and our respect for one another runs deep.

This photo was posted by Bamaboy on the hotboots/BOL board yesterday, sorta at my urging.  The board has had a "harness boots week."  He has posted this image on that board before, but so long ago that many haven't seen it.  The boots in this photo are now in my collection as Bama told me he was going to sell them, and gave me "first dibs" to buy them from him.  I wear these boots when I ride my Harley, and think fondly of my friend each time I do.  And I no longer wonder why these boots wander off into mudholes... (giggle).

Life is short:  cherish close friends, and hold them with respect and honor in your heart.

Bootmen of Da' 'Burgh

This past weekend, my partner and I drove to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA, to visit his mother who lives there.  My partner did a number of chores around the house to keep it in good shape (and he told me not to, so I wouldn't aggravate a hernia that I just discovered).  We also gave his Mom some company as she lives alone and gets rather lonely.

It was a quiet, peaceful, visit.  While I was "up bear," I had the distinct pleasure of meeting a friend who contacted me at first through this blog, and then through many hundreds of emails over several years.  It never worked out until this trip to be able to meet in person.  We sat atop Mt. Washington enjoying a bright, sunny afternoon on a lovely day, while taking in the view of the picturesque city skyline.

What a wonderful guy, from his comfy Justin cowboy boots to his broad smile on his handsome face.  

Life is short:  enjoy it with friends!

Bama's Fault

This image is all Bamaboy's fault. All his fault. Oh my has he influenced me.

He is known for his stunning photographic and Photoshop skills, as shown here. I am among the few fortunate men to have met him and enjoy a wonderful friendship with a smart, witty, great guy.

But man oh man, has he influenced me. I ride by a stream or river, and the boots jump in the mud. As Bama says, "hahahahahaha!"

Life is short: share joy of great friendships.

[by the way, the boots clean up well when hosed off...]

My Brother-in-Heart

This is my brother-in-heart, AZ. I found a couple pictures on my computer that I had not processed yet. These pics were taken of us when I visited him in Arizona in September, 2009. What a wonderful guy. How blessed I am to have him in my life as my best friend. His smile warms my heart, and his heart warms my smile.

Birthday Shout and Other Bits

Today is my best friend's birthday. I call him "AZ" on this blog and on BOL. I call him a caring and thoughtful soul. Lots of others do, too. I call him handsome, intelligent, funny, and fun -- as do many others as well.

AZ is a humble man, and doesn't like a lot of attention. So these few lines will serve sufficiently to say that I am observing this annual milestone for my best buddy, I wish him well, and wish that I could be in Arizona so I could bake him a cake and give him a hug. This "e-hug" will have to do, though I sent him a small gift and a card. I know he knows how highly I think of him, so I promised him, "basta." (This is enough--no gushing.)

--------------------------
In other news...

Today is FRIDAY! Woo-hoo! It's been a heck of a long week, being my first week back at work after having my cast cut off and being cleared to go back to work. My partner has eased me into it by driving us to the Metro and home each day, which was much appreciated.

I smile a lot when I think of "Friday," because my buddy Clay gets so very excited about Fridays. He does a "Friday Happy Dance" that I hear about and when I do, it makes me happy, too. Thanks, Clay, for always brightening my Fridays (and the rest of the week, too!)

My friend Kevin, the wise and introspective one, posted a comment on a blog post that caused me to think a great deal about the difference between religion and faith. It was in a comment to this post. What he said that hit close to my heart is that "faith is inspired by mercy" and it is faith that drives people to alleviate suffering and to help others. Yeah, he's absolutely right once again ... he hit my nail on the head. Thanks, Kevin, for your inspiring thoughts and reflections.

My twin brother, J, called yesterday and was grilling me about my recovery. He wants me to get better, but doesn't want me to overdo it. He has been reading some things I had posted in other forums and was concerned. I assured him that with mother-hubbard St. Partner on my case, there's no way I can "overdo it." I am so blessed; my partner is still doing a lot of things for me that I just don't have the energy or ability to do at this stage of my recovery, with nary a whimper, either. So rest assured, J, I am not killing myself or prolonging my recovery when I use words like, "pushing through the pain."

I'll close with another reflection from my friend Kevin, who said that upon reading my blog posts over time, that the sentiment in the Frank Capra movie from which I've quoted a lot, It's a Wonderful Life, applies to me in real life. I have a wonderful net of family and friends with whom I am closely bonded. They actually enjoyed caring for me when I was laid up with my broken leg. My man loves me deeply, as I love him. Our home is nice, our community supportive, and our state accepting (and our State Senate finally had the cajones to pass a bill about using cell phones while driving that I had been supporting for over eight years!) All-in-all, yeah, it's a wonderful life and I'm happy to be in it. Especially, I'm happy to be closely intertwined with all who compose my life.

Life is short: love it! Happy birthday, AZ! (Ha, you thought I said enough was enough, didn't 'ya!)

Mudlessness

Okay, while I am on the "lessness" theme of blog posts, today, Friday, I am mudless. Or shall I say, my boots are in a state of mudlessness.

That is their usual state. And I presume all of my boots are mudless (save for some of my work boots that may still show some dirt in the lugs). In my current condition, I cannot see them. My boots are in the basement or my upstairs closets, and I am in between -- safely situated on an easy chair in my family room which is on the middle floor of our house. Having a broken leg with a cast on it that weighs a ton prevents me from going up and down stairs to check on the status of my boots. Not seeing my alarm panel change from "all secure" status indicates that my boots must be where I last saw them a month ago -- in their respective storage areas in their usual state of mudlessness -- and are not walking out the door all by themselves to go play in what has become a mud pit of a back yard since a lot of our snow has melted.

Why am I carrying on about my boots being in a state of mudlessness? Well, had I not broken my leg, I would have gone on a business trip to Alabama this week. The event I was scheduled to facilitate would have ended at 3pm today. Then my good friend, Bamaboy, would have picked me up from the hotel and we would have gone to "play" and have some pair of boots become, shall we say, "a bit dirty," or as Bama would say, "all mudded!"

What is it that as men in our 50s and grown adults that we like to go jump in mud puddles? Are we reverting to our childhood? Well, perhaps for play, fun, and seeing the results of the superb photographic work that Bamaboy does... sure, I'd love it! Last time I saw Bama, it was dry as a bone and no mud could be found. We kicked up some dirt, had a nice dinner, and enjoyed each other's company as good buddies.

Well, alas, here I remain in Maryland, unable to put on a pair of boots, and only snuck (snow and melting mess) in sight. This is not quite where I wanted to be right now, but it's what I have to endure.

Perhaps sometime in the future the stars will fall on Alabama again, align, and bring me back to enjoy some muddin' with my buddy, his company, camaraderie, amusing humor, and gettin' a little mud on our boots. That's okay, the boots can clean up. Eventually. Returning to their usual state of mudlessness.

Life is short: dream on!

One Year Ago Today

My, it's weird how things can change in a year's time. One year ago today I was visiting my best friend, AZ, in Phoenix. I had rented a Harley and we saddled up and went for ride to Sedona, Arizona. Within that year, my best friend bought a house and moved (still in Phoenix), and I broke my leg. On the bright side, his "condition" is permanent, while mine is temporary (or better be!)

I can remember that trip as if it were yesterday. The scenery was gorgeous. The ride was fun. The roads were great. The weather was perfect. What I recall the best, of course, is the fun I had with my best buddy, and his warm charm, smiles, and delightful way of making you feel good about yourself and life, in general. He has that way about him -- a unique gift that makes everyone around him feel great.

Today, I sit at home with my leg propped up, still, and I am not able to walk. I couldn't ride a bike if I wanted to. I am uncomfortable, cranky, and longing to get out of the hole in which I am stuck, albeit temporarily. I look out the window at mountains of snow in my yard. We still have at least two feet of snow in the yard from the back-to-back attacks of Snowzilla we endured not that long ago.

Instead of dwelling on my desire to be out of this predicament and be anywhere -- ANYWHERE -- else in two boots on two feet, I close my eyes and think of the long weekend that I spent with my best buddy, a wonderful host, and my best friend. Those memories bring serenity and smiles.

This is yet another reason why my partner likes AZ so much -- because try as he might to snap me out of it, my partner hasn't been happy that I've been grumpy. Having "mental diversions" like this help me relax, and makes my partner feel better, too. He hates it when I'm unhappy. Bless him -- he's always caring for me however he can.

Life is short: enjoy your memories!

Best Friend

What's a "best friend?" I think of grade school, when you picked one person to be your "best friend" and everyone else was second....

As an adult, of course, things are different. I have my partner, life-long friends, intimate friends, close friends, casual friends, and acquaintances. Of course my partner is my "bestest" friend, but that's a different story. He's got to be!

My life-long friends know me, or they think they know me; however, memories of the "me as a kid" sometimes affect their perception of the "me as a middle-aged man." This applies to most of my siblings, as well. But that's to be expected. They all love me, for who I was and who I am and who I will be. They will be with me all of my life.

My close friends are those who know me pretty well. They know I drink Coke (Zero) instead of coffee in the morning, am uber-annoyed at people who won't "hang up and drive," that I don't eat broccoli, and that I abhor violence (or even play-acting violence on TV). They know when I'm feeling a bit down, and what to say to help me feel better. They let me help, and they help me. They're "there" through thick, thin, and in between. We communicate regularly through a variety of methods, and have a good sense of what works to form that net to which I often refer -- the net that supports someone throughout his life. These friends form the fabric of my "life net."

Intimate friends, of which there are very few, not only have all the qualities of close friends, but also truly know my heart. They can read me and intuit how I feel. They know just what to say -- or sometimes, what not to say. I am not referring to sexual intimacy, which is reserved only for my partner, but rather, I am referring to personal intimacy. These are the friends who I trust and allow into my personal space. Few get that close. Few ever will.

I was speaking on the phone with two of these intimate friends yesterday -- AZ and my twin brother -- and they each made me realize how incredibly rich I am. I have a partner who loves me, cares for me, and will do anything for me. I have a nice home. I have health insurance and am getting decent medical care. I have people who look after me and show me how they care -- as I have tried to show them that I care about their well-being, too.

Further, though, AZ and J reminded me that while I feel down, frustrated, angry at being confined and hobbled, that I have talents that I can apply to get me out of these doldrums. Each in their own way urged me to engage my talents and concentrate on doing something during this period of confinement that I would not have had the time to do if I were engaged in my usual busy, active life. You know what? They're right!

And what's interesting to me is that both of them knew how I was feeling before I even told them. They just know me. They know my heart.

Luv 'ya, guys... with all my heart.

Life is short: seize your talents. Your intimate, close friends want you to!

My Bro', the Biker

This is just a happy little note to congratulate, publicly, my best friend and brother-in-heart, AZ, for successfully completing the Motorcycle Safety Foundation Basic RiderCourse^SM and passing with the highest score in his class.

I am a strong supporter of taking motorcycle riding courses, even for the experienced rider. There are always good pointers to learn, as well as information that one may not have known. The MSF courses are excellent, and come highly recommended!

I am always proud of my younger bro' and all the things he does. Hopefully, some day, I may go back to Arizona and ride with him. That would be wonderful!

Congrats, 'bro! Keep the rubber side down and your sunny side up!

UPDATE: I spoke with AZ on the phone this morning, and he told me that he got the motorcycle endorsement on his driver's license! Woo-hoo! All legal! Let's ride!

Life is short: show those you love that you love them!

Note: this photo was taken in February, 2009, when I rented a Harley and AZ joined me as a passenger for a ride to Sedona. We both wore DOT-approved helmets, even though Arizona does not have a helmet law. We believe in wearing proper protective gear, including sturdy motorcycle boots, each and every time we ride.

Not a Practicing Homosexual

My best friend and I had a conversation the other day about some issues that continue to be brought up by certain members of my extended family and their hyperconcern about the fact that I am gay and yet, for example, I served as a pallbearer at a Catholic funeral for my aunt.

He said, "it's okay to be gay and Catholic -- what they get upset about is 'practicing the act'."

Okay, I get it. I'll just tell them that "I am not a practicing homosexual."

After more than 16 years with my one-and-only man, I don't need to practice. [giggle]

Life is short: maintain your sense of humour, and if you are like me and don't have one, surround yourself with those who do!

My Thanksgiving Thanks

I referred in yesterday's blog post that I had prepared several "Thanksgiving Thanks" which I shared during our wonderfully successful Thanksgiving pot-luck event at which 98 guests and 11 family members participated. We had four opportunities to share with the group, and one privately. I prepared separate "thank yous," which I will share here.

Before I go on, let me extend my thanks to all readers, and wish you the best for this holiday season. Peace to all people, dogs, cats, and otherwise (smile; photo provided by a cousin).

• 11:00am: thank you to my wonderful partner, who lights my life with his commitment, dedication, hard work, and ongoing support for all I do. I could not live nearly as well, as comfortably, or as loved without him. Without him, I couldn't be nearly as involved with you, my guests, as I am. I cherish him, and value how much he cares for all of our guests here with us today, for his mother, and for Mother Nature (just ask the squirrels and birds in the back yard!) Thank you, thank you, for being the man you are, and for being my best half.

• 1:00pm: thank you to my wonderful twin brother, [J], who traveled all the way from his home in Paris to visit with me twice this year, including a wonderful birthday week where we rode Harleys together, visited family, and had such a great time. He connects with me almost every day by phone, email, or comment on my blog. He shows very clearly how much he loves me, and how much he cares. His wife and this world are so much the better for having him among us. I cherish him and love him only as a twin brother can. I can't wait to see him and his wife when they come to visit for Christmas.
  

• 3:00pm: None of you here right now have had a chance yet to meet my best friend [AZ], but let me tell you about him. He has a spirit and great heart which carry forth by example in many things that I do. I had the pleasure of visiting him twice this year at his home in Arizona. I observed directly what I have grown to know: that he is a truly special person with a huge caring heart who contributes much to the well-being of all who surround him, and to me. I cherish being able to call him my best friend and brother-in-heart.

• 5:00pm: Thank you to [E] who organized today's event. Two weeks ago when [my partner] and I both came down the the H1N1 flu, I was feeling overwhelmed by the need to keep on top of the planning and organizing for when you all would be coming today, and what you would be bringing. [E] just took over, and organized it far better than I could ever have done. Thanks, from the bottom of my heart. And thanks to my family [name, name, name...] who helped all day, too. We couldn't have done this without you, and we love you very much.

• 8:30pm: to my partner, as we sit here alone after a long day ... thank you for enduring what is very hard for you to do ... to be "on" all day long, to be socially light, entertaining, and to smile all day. I know this whole thing has grown beyond what it started out to be. I also know that it is physically more difficult for you now. And with unexpected visits from family who stayed with us last week before my aunt's funeral, and with us both having had the flu and being sick for a whole week right before that -- today was even more challenging than ever before. Thank you for your spirit, your hard work, but most of all, my love, for your love.

Thank you, loyal readers, for visiting this blog!

Life is short: be thankful!

Reflections on a Visit With My Best Friend

By the time you read this, I have returned to my home in Maryland, snuggled a warm hello with my partner, returned to work and my daily hectic life.

Photo above shows my buddy AZ and me relaxing after working through the weekend. AZ had to work for his employer and I offered to do work for him on his house. I felt good about accomplishing a lot of things that needed to be done.

Last time I visited AZ, I was taking vacation time and was there to have fun and explore the state where he lives. I enjoyed a different visit this time. It was "work focused" instead of "play focused." What I did is what friends do for each other: I helped him with things that I could do using my skills as an electrician.

AZ knows how to be a rock-solid good friend, and I am honored by and cherish his friendship with me. AZ is also very good to many others -- such as the owners of the little dog sitting on the couch above my right shoulder. These friends had gone away for the weekend, and AZ took care of their dog. That is one small demonstration of what a good soul AZ has, and why so many people think so highly of his quality of character.

I wish I had more time to stay perhaps and play a little bit in the Grand Canyon State (Arizona), but that just isn't in the cards right now. I have a workload beyond belief at home (both for my employer and in my civic life), and I just couldn't take more than one day off. That's how things are for me for the days, weeks, and months to come.

Life is short: help others using your skills, knowledge, abilities, and giving your time.

Too Hot For Fun

Late September in Phoenix this week finds daytime high temperatures reaching 108°F (42°C). With only 13% relative humidity, when you step outside, you dry out and bake.

Last time I visited my best friend, AZ, here in Phoenix was in February. Back then, the daytime highs were much more tolerable, at about 85°F (29°C). I rented a Harley and we rode together to Sedona for a day trip.

During this visit, AZ had to work all day Saturday and some of Sunday since his office was moving. I could have rented a Harley and explored more of Arizona, but I really do not want to sit on an air-cooled engine producing heat from under me when the sun is beating down such heat from above. It's just "too hot for fun." Thus, I offered to do a number of home improvements for my buddy while remaining indoors and out of the sun, heat, and dryness.

I did take a nice break, though, to have lunch on Saturday with a former colleague who I worked with 20 years ago. It was great to catch up on each other's lives.

While AZ or my other friend were driving me to various places, I saw a few bikers braving the heat. I was not surprised that almost all of them were in the same stage of unsafe undress: shorts, sneakers, t-shirt, and no helmet (there is no helmet law in Arizona). I know it is uncomfortable to ride a motorcycle in such heat and that is why those motorcycle operators wear light clothing like that and nothing on their head but perhaps a pair of sunglasses. However, personally, in my opinion, I would feel more uncomfortable if I were not wearing boots, long pants, and a helmet. Thus, if protective clothing made riding uncomfortable due to the heat, then I probably wouldn't ride (or ride less often.) Again, this is my choice and my opinion.

I look forward to returning to cooler temperatures and more humidity. Funny, it is common to complain about the weather in the DC area, but I miss it. Gimme that cool, damp leather-weather and a warm snuggle in the arms of my man.

Life is short: appreciate what you have.

My Best Friend Is Alarmed

Greetings from my my best buddy's house in Phoenix, Arizona. There I am, on a ladder, wearing safety glasses and steel-toed Chippewa Firefighter boots. I am installing wireless interconnected smoke alarms for my best friend's safety and my peace of mind.

It is important to have adequate smoke alarms in homes. About 90% of people who die from exposure to toxic smoke produced by fire die in the place they feel safest: in their own home. Many of these fatal fires happen at night while sleeping. One smoke alarm in a hallway is insufficient, especially if you sleep with the bedroom door closed.

The best thing to have is an interconnected smoke alarm system. Such a system is designed such that if an alarm on one end of the home away from bedrooms detects smoke and its alarm sounds, all other alarms will go off too -- including those inside bedrooms where people sleep. That way, they can be awakened and have a chance to get out and away from toxic smoke that can kill them (then call the fire department once out of harm's way.)

The problem though with older homes is that wiring is not already present behind walls and ceilings to connect smoke alarms to the home's power supply and to each other. However, a leading smoke alarm manufacturer has solved that problem by inventing and selling battery-powered smoke alarms that interconnect wirelessly. Now all you have to do is put batteries in the alarm and attach it to the ceiling in the correct locations, and you're done. When one goes off, all the others go off, too. It took me five minutes a piece to do the installation (but shhh... don't tell AZ that; let him think that it was really hard and took me all day long LOL!)

I now feel better that new wireless smoke alarms are installed and working to protect my best buddy. These were my housewarming gift to him (labor included). Now, on to install Ground Fault Circuit Interrupt (GFCI) outlets in the bathrooms and kitchen....

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

Boots in Flight

This post is about some amusing things I heard at my home airport in Maryland, aboard my flight, and after arrival yesterday in Phoenix, Arizona, USA, where I am leading a major event for my work.

I traveled comfortably, in a pair of Wranglers and Nocona Rattlesnake cowboy boots.

Here goes:

Arriving at the airport whilst checking in

• [Airline agent inquired]: Do you have luggage to check? Why?
  -- because I can't travel without at least one change of boots each day for the five days I will be there. [I think she actually believed me, but I couldn't tell]

• [a guy taking off his wing-tipped dress shoes in front of me asked]: Do you have to take your boots off to go through security like I do?
  --No; I enjoy being wanded, frisked, and delayed

• [kid with Mom] Mommy, what are those things on his feet?
  Honey, those are boots
  Mommy, where's he going?
  I don't know
  Do you think he is going to ride a horse?
  I don't know
  Mister, [looking at my boots then at me] Are you going to ride a horse in Texas?
  Kid, thanks for noticing the boots. No, I'm going to ride a horse in Arizona.
  Oh! Wow!

Aboard the plane

• [Flight attendant said:] Nice cowboy boots!
  Why thank ya', ma'am!

• [Woman on aisle seat in my row exclaimed:] Those are some boots!
  No, there are only two

• [Sneaker-wearing guy waiting for the toilet asked:] Don't those things (pointing to my boots) get hot?
  No, but they look hot!

Upon arrival in Phoenix

• [Good looking young guy who sees me at baggage claim says:] Man, those a really cool boots! I've always wanted a pair of boots like that. Where did you get them? I got them from a cousin who owned a boot store in Oklahoma. I have seen them on-line for a decent price at bootbarn.com. [He smiles and says that he will get himself a pair.]

Welcome to Arizona!

Mentor

Here's a photo of me with a woman who took me under her wing back in the 70s, and taught me everything she knew about working as a volunteer leader in a major non-profit organization.

She always was kind and thoughtful, and has a sense of humor that kept me rolling. Thorough and precise in her work, she taught me where to look for information and how to help clients in a genuine and case-specific manner. I was amazed at how quickly she could cut through the b/s and find the answers to challenging questions, and come up with creative resolutions to many situations.

We became fast friends, and served together on the Board of Directors of this organization for about 15 years. As friends, she and I went hot air ballooning, where upon a bad landing she broke her leg but said that she loved the experience. She watched me skydive often, and had she not had a doctor tell her that she couldn't go with me, I think she would have.

What we didn't tell the doc about was the number of times that she got on the back of my Harley and went for a (short) ride. We always laugh about that. When I accompany her somewhere, which nowadays is pretty much reserved to the dining room in her retirement home, her friends always ask, "is he the guy who took you on his Harley?" In boots and leather, I smile back and say, "yep, that's me. Do you want a ride?" The aghast reaction is amusing to watch, especially when my mentor says, "you ought to try it -- he doesn't drop people off the back any more." (giggle)

My partner and I spent a wonderful day this past Saturday visiting my friend, my mentor. He adores her and I enjoy watching the two of them interact, laugh, and smile.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

Kindnesses

Today I write about kindnesses that I have observed and that have been extended to me, to others, to those I love, and to perfect strangers. Humanity is a strange and complex thing. When it is extended to others for no reason other than to be kind, gentle, thoughtful and caring, it warms my heart deep down to my soul. Today I point out a few people whose kindnesses are observed, valued, and appreciated:

My partner, the love of my life. Each day, I observe what he does to make my life easier. He carries out lots of actions at home "behind the scenes" to free up my time so I can carry on the crazy-busy life that I lead. He is my cheerleader and champion. When I came home the other day a bit dejected about an issue at work, he listened. Then he gave me support by describing my skills that I can engage to overcome this challenge. He demonstrated how much he believes in me. How blessed I am to have him as my best half.

My best friend, AZ, has been pulled many different directions in the past month, what with buying a home, yet caring for two dear friends who were hospitalized and needed attention which he freely gave without equivocation. Further, a close mutual friend has been going through a very rough time. AZ has expressed in thought, word, and deed how compassionate, thoughtful, and caring he is. It is no wonder why I adore him so much, as my adopted eighth brother.

Mrs. K, one of my "elder buds," who learned from me that my aunt needed to get exercise every day. Without asking, Mrs. K shows up at my aunt's door and says, "let's take a walk." Gently, carefully, and slowly, they stroll around the neighborhood. They stop to observe baby fawns, families of geese parading their young, and squirrels playing in the trees. To hear my aunt describe what she sees is wonderful. What a kind, sweet, thoughtful daily gesture that my friend, Mrs. K, extends to my aunt because Mrs. K likes me. She never knew my aunt until a month ago, and now they're fast friends. What a joy, what sheer delight, in receiving this help for someone who I love dearly.

Man on Metro. I do not know this gentleman's name, but I see him regularly on my ride home from the office. Without fail, he assists people -- lost tourists trying to figure out the confusing Metro map and system, older or disabled people who need a seat, or just picking up discarded newspapers. He demonstrates thoughtfulness in all he does. He thinks no one notices. I do. He sets a great example for me.

G, the grocery store associate. She greets us by name every time we go to the store when she is there. She mentions good buys to consider. She is joyful, friendly, and such a happy person that you can't help but smile. She puts up with a lot of grief from the me-me-me people who go to the store and complain about stupid stuff, yet always, she demonstrates kindness in a thousand ways.

F, a mentee. I am working with her on a vexing local issue in my community. She listens exceptionally well, communicates with clear and concise understanding and grasp of difficult details, yet with humor and grace. While I am teaching her the finer points of community service and activism, she is teaching me about working with people who do not always "get it." What a great team we have made. Oh, did I mention, I just love her smile, too.

O, a very hard working man in our community. He works from sun-up to sun-down seven days a week, earning a meager income to support his family both here where we live and in his home country. He never complains, and he always is working. Rain, sun, heat, cold, whatever... he is a true demonstration of what "work ethic" means. And he does all of his work with kindness and thoughtfulness to those for whom he provides service. As if they were his family. He teaches me that despite ignorant comments directed his way about his situation in life, that actions speak louder than words.

Kindness means a lot to me. I observe it in others, and try to emulate the good things I observe in what I do.

Life is short: be kind to others.