Keeping a Relationship Going

I have blogged before about my relationship with my partner, and thought I would say something again about that wonderful man of mine and how we have held each other close all these years.

I was dialoguing with someone via e-mail who has shared comments about some things he has read on this blog. He has expressed his opinions and views about what he would or would not tell his partner.

Gosh, I'm so old-fashioned. I truly treat my partner as my spouse, as if we were married. I was raised by observing that married couples always tell their mate what's going on, things they are doing, what they are thinking, and such. And that's what my partner and I do. We talk all the time.

I could probably tell you more about the history of one of our country's major grocery chains than you ever would want to know. But this is interesting to my partner, and I listen. My partner could probably tell you about every style and manufacturer of boots because he has heard that from me. I could tell you what's the latest news in his mother's household, and he could tell you the latest news in our local civic activities and politics. I could tell you about what he likes to watch on television, read in literature, about his musical interests, or even what websites he views regularly. My partner could do the same about me (though I don't really care for television).

To be honest, I am not all that keen on the latest goings-on of that grocery chain. Some of the television stuff bores me silly. I'm sure that web-geek talk and boots this-n-that, or who may run for what local office is not quite on the top of the list of my partner's interests.

BUT: if he is interested, then I am interested. If I am interested, then he is interested. Seriously -- we talk A LOT. We share everything with each other. Who I talked to about what, where I am going next, what position I may take on some issue, what TV show or actor is up for an award, and the gist of email that we receive. We are honest, open, and sharing.

We don't hide things from each other, or do anything that could be perceived as operating behind the other's back. That doesn't mean that we do not have our own "space," or our own relationships with others. Goodness, the volume of phone and e-mail communication in which I am engaged with my family and friends is astronomical. My partner doesn't care and doesn't really want to know about all of that. But if AZ calls or Clay writes or John, Wes, or Kevin drop me a note, more often than not, I'll tell my partner about it. And that's okay, because he trusts that my relationship with my best friends, family, "bootbuds" and community associates are all top-notch, above-board, and honest.

My partner and I communicate. We keep the dialogue going. That is why, I believe, our relationship has lasted as long as it has (almost 16 years), and why it will endure.