I thought I was a genealogist, amateur at best, but nonetheless, I thought I was doing pretty well keeping up with my father's side of the family. I swear, they drop kids (on Facebook) faster than Italians change governments ... which is rather often! (LOL!)
Unfortunately, my father's family records only go back to when his parents arrived in the United States from Italy (still single, but married soon after arrival) in the early 1900s. Now that's not to say that we don't have a lot of records moving forward! 503 family members (including spouses, children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren) have come forth from my paternal grandparents -- and I know who all of them are, and who is related to whom. That's a rather big feat. I do, however, need to make a trip to Italy in one of my spare lives to do some more research.
As I began this post, I *thought* that I was doing pretty well, until...
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
The Legacy of Resilience
Today, March 4, marks the date when my father was born -- 101 years ago. Wow... while his brothers and sisters were known for living long, extraordinary lives, my Dad had to pack an extraordinary life into 58 years. He passed away almost 42 years ago, when I was a little guy of 11 years.
Of the memories that I have of him, the strongest is how resilient he was. Let me explain, and how his legacy of resiliency carries me forward today.
Of the memories that I have of him, the strongest is how resilient he was. Let me explain, and how his legacy of resiliency carries me forward today.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Family Wedding Without Reception
For the past two days, I have had the pleasure of visiting with family who have come to town to attend a niece's wedding. Because my partner is not feeling well, we did not have anyone stay with us as a houseguest. (My twin brother wasn't able to come, either. Bummer.)
The wedding is today. I will (reluctantly) put on a pair of dress pants, shirt & tie, dress cowboy boots, and a sport coat, then drive to my sister's home for a pre-wedding brunch. This sister is the bride's aunt and Godmother. Then I will drive to the church, 15 miles away, to be there for the wedding ceremony.
When the wedding is over, I will politely make my exit and come home.
Why?
When the wedding is over, I will politely make my exit and come home.
Why?
Thursday, January 26, 2012
One Year Ago Today
... a brief interlude of lucidity among the deep clouds that Alzheimer's Disease wrought on her brain.
I explained that she had a heart attack, and that she was being treated in a hospital.
"A hospital? I don't want to be here...".
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Family Christmas
Okay, I know I said the other day that I wouldn't be back until after Christmas, but I had to post this photo that was taken yesterday. Great Uncle BHD with his twin great nephews....
I rode my Harley on Friday to visit them. 100 mile round-trip in 48F (9C) temperatures. The sun was supposed to come out, but it didn't. Kinda chilly, but manageable in full leathers and tall boots which kept me warm.
The ride home wasn't nearly as cold as the ride on the way there due to the warmth in my heart from time spent with my family. I am so lucky to have the family that I have. Warm, generous, loving, thoughtful, and caring people who warm my heart every minute of every day.
Fortunately, my partner is stable, but still not well... but he was able to rest at home and I felt secure enough that I could leave for a half-day to visit family and that he would be okay (and that his mother would keep an eye on him.)
Merry Christmas to all... see you after the holiday!
Life is short: show those you love that you love them.
The ride home wasn't nearly as cold as the ride on the way there due to the warmth in my heart from time spent with my family. I am so lucky to have the family that I have. Warm, generous, loving, thoughtful, and caring people who warm my heart every minute of every day.
Fortunately, my partner is stable, but still not well... but he was able to rest at home and I felt secure enough that I could leave for a half-day to visit family and that he would be okay (and that his mother would keep an eye on him.)
Merry Christmas to all... see you after the holiday!
Life is short: show those you love that you love them.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Not Going to the Wedding Reception
One of my nieces is getting married to a sweet guy. I am delighted for them. They have been dating since high school and throughout their college years. After college, they went their separate ways, but reunited a couple years ago when their respective jobs placed them back in the same town, and realized that their love for each other was meant to be. Now they plan to take the next step and get married.
The wedding invitation arrived the other day. I looked at it, sighed, and told my partner....
The wedding invitation arrived the other day. I looked at it, sighed, and told my partner....
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Mom and a Gay Son
I will depart from my usual dialogue on this blog to recognize my Mom who would have been 94 years old today if she were still alive.
How did a mother deal with the realization that her son was gay?
How did a mother deal with the realization that her son was gay?
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
What Thanksgiving Means To Me
What does Thanksgiving mean to me? Turkey, all the trimmings, football games on television, seeing Uncle Whazzisname but once a year? Nope....
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Bullying
My Great Nephew, about whom I wrote last May, called me a few weeks ago. I could tell that he was very upset. It was hard to understand him on the phone through his crying. I went to see him on the evening on which he called me. I found out that he is being bullied -- again -- by some bigger guys physically abusing him, as well as calling him names and making his life miserable.
Apparently the bullies hide their tormenting quite well. No adult at his school or anywhere else has seen what has happened. Even these days when adults are much more attuned to bullying and will intercede to prevent it, they have to witness an assault, or it becomes a "he said/he said" trade of accusations where the bullies deny doing anything, and the person who is bullied is afraid to say anything for fear of making the bullies more angry.
My Great Nephew's father tried to teach him how to throw a punch -- not strike first, but know what to do and how to strike back if punched first. The thing is, my Great Nephew doesn't want to fight. He doesn't want to hit anyone, even if the person deserves to be clocked sideways and screwy. Gosh, he is so very much like me when I was his age.
Since he doesn't have a "big-jock-twin-brother" to hide behind, I suggested the next best thing, which I did when I was in school. I was very good in my studies, and knew that some of the jocks were not, and would be potentially suspended from playing on the teams (football, basketball, baseball, etc.) if their grades were not above a certain level. I offered to tutor some of these guys. I volunteered many hours of my time after school to help the jocks do better in their classes. That worked -- their grades improved and they learned that I was not such a dorky dude after all. They became my friends. When the bullies saw that a number of big jocks were truly friendly to me, and I seemed to be around them a lot, the bullies left me alone and picked on someone else.
I used that analogy to explain a strategy for my Great Nephew to try. And I am very happy to report that so far, it is working! My Great Nephew tutored one of the biggest jocks in his school. The jock got some good grades on recent tests and credits my Great Nephew for his help. In turn, the bullies are leaving my Great Nephew alone. Apparently some of the jocks overheard some of their bullying of my Great Nephew, and taught the bullies a lesson. (I didn't really want to know exactly what lesson was taught!)
So this is something to remember. If you are not the type to defend yourself by fighting, you can defend yourself by recruiting defenders by offering something you can do to help them. It is the most fundamental form of barter -- trading for services. Tutoring for protection. Whatever you want to call it, my Great Nephew is happier today than he has been since school started in early September.
Apparently the bullies hide their tormenting quite well. No adult at his school or anywhere else has seen what has happened. Even these days when adults are much more attuned to bullying and will intercede to prevent it, they have to witness an assault, or it becomes a "he said/he said" trade of accusations where the bullies deny doing anything, and the person who is bullied is afraid to say anything for fear of making the bullies more angry.
My Great Nephew's father tried to teach him how to throw a punch -- not strike first, but know what to do and how to strike back if punched first. The thing is, my Great Nephew doesn't want to fight. He doesn't want to hit anyone, even if the person deserves to be clocked sideways and screwy. Gosh, he is so very much like me when I was his age.
Since he doesn't have a "big-jock-twin-brother" to hide behind, I suggested the next best thing, which I did when I was in school. I was very good in my studies, and knew that some of the jocks were not, and would be potentially suspended from playing on the teams (football, basketball, baseball, etc.) if their grades were not above a certain level. I offered to tutor some of these guys. I volunteered many hours of my time after school to help the jocks do better in their classes. That worked -- their grades improved and they learned that I was not such a dorky dude after all. They became my friends. When the bullies saw that a number of big jocks were truly friendly to me, and I seemed to be around them a lot, the bullies left me alone and picked on someone else.
I used that analogy to explain a strategy for my Great Nephew to try. And I am very happy to report that so far, it is working! My Great Nephew tutored one of the biggest jocks in his school. The jock got some good grades on recent tests and credits my Great Nephew for his help. In turn, the bullies are leaving my Great Nephew alone. Apparently some of the jocks overheard some of their bullying of my Great Nephew, and taught the bullies a lesson. (I didn't really want to know exactly what lesson was taught!)
So this is something to remember. If you are not the type to defend yourself by fighting, you can defend yourself by recruiting defenders by offering something you can do to help them. It is the most fundamental form of barter -- trading for services. Tutoring for protection. Whatever you want to call it, my Great Nephew is happier today than he has been since school started in early September.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Party Time
Yep, it's that time of year again -- in the last four weeks, I have attended 23 birthday parties within my family. Yikes! And there are four more parties this coming weekend! Double-yikes!
No, I do not have 23 siblings. 14 of them are enough, thank-you. Some of these parties were for nieces, nephews, and "The Greats."
I tell 'ya, I am all "caked out." LOL!
It's nice to see all the members of my family who live within driving distance of my home (not all of them do -- I have family scattered around the country and the globe!) One might think it is a bit too much. For me, no... but it does keep me busy riding from place to place. However, I love it.
With such a large family, we do not exchange presents. I give a card, a warm hug, smiles and good cheer. I think I may be among the few who knows everyone's names and their ages... but I have a little secret. I am the keeper of our Family Tree, and I reference it before I go to one of the parties.
While I have attended 23 such festivities over the last four weeks, I have not attended all of them. Some were far away, some were at very inconvenient times, and some conflicted with others.
That's okay... we love each other and do our best to keep in touch, even though this Uncle Martian Dinosaur still refuses to get a data plan on his cell phone and exchange text messages. The younger ones do not use email or the phone, so I communicate with them via Facebook. One way or another, we remain closely connected.
Life is short: show those you love that you love them!
No, I do not have 23 siblings. 14 of them are enough, thank-you. Some of these parties were for nieces, nephews, and "The Greats."
I tell 'ya, I am all "caked out." LOL!
It's nice to see all the members of my family who live within driving distance of my home (not all of them do -- I have family scattered around the country and the globe!) One might think it is a bit too much. For me, no... but it does keep me busy riding from place to place. However, I love it.
With such a large family, we do not exchange presents. I give a card, a warm hug, smiles and good cheer. I think I may be among the few who knows everyone's names and their ages... but I have a little secret. I am the keeper of our Family Tree, and I reference it before I go to one of the parties.
While I have attended 23 such festivities over the last four weeks, I have not attended all of them. Some were far away, some were at very inconvenient times, and some conflicted with others.
That's okay... we love each other and do our best to keep in touch, even though this Uncle Martian Dinosaur still refuses to get a data plan on his cell phone and exchange text messages. The younger ones do not use email or the phone, so I communicate with them via Facebook. One way or another, we remain closely connected.
Life is short: show those you love that you love them!
Monday, August 22, 2011
What I Did On My Summer Staycation
One might remember that the first writing assignment upon return to school was an essay describing, "what I did on my summer vacation." Back when I was in school, I could describe riding in a car with my family going cross-country, and over a six-year period, we stopped in every state in the contiguous United States. It was mandatory to stop in the state's capital, but we also would see whatever sights there were to see while in that state (for example, we spent three weeks in California alone.)
These days, I do not travel for vacation any more. My partner is unable to sit in an airplane for any length of time due to his disability (not the brain surgery, but his chronic hip condition which is inoperable). I can't stand being cooped up in a car for more than a few hours. I just go crazy. And regretfully, I have a chronic health condition that makes it difficult for me to ride my Harley more than a few hundred miles each day. Altogether, I have found that it's easier to stay home. (It's cheaper that way, too.)
I had the last week off from work -- my first time off since I started the new job. I began my "staycation" on Friday the 12th on a high note, by going on a motorcycle ride with some friends on a lovely day. We had a great time, and didn't get lost.
Frankly, I forgot what I did on the weekend... usual activities in caring for my senior pals, repairing or installing things for them in their homes, taking them grocery shopping, and spending time with my partner and my brother (and his wife) who are visiting.
I got busy on Monday the 15th with work in our yard, repairing a garden wall that had been damaged by the freeze-thaw cycle over some harsh winters. I got very tired of being stung by yellow jackets (bees/wasps) that had built a nest in the soil of that garden.
Tuesday was my birthday. It began brightly with a warm snuggle with my partner who had taken the day off. I was "kidnapped" by five senior pals and taken to breakfast. That was fun. Then my brother, his wife, and I went to visit a niece who had delivered twin boys three weeks earlier. It was great to meet our Great Nephews.
Late that afternoon, my partner bought a bushel of Maryland steamed crabs fresh from the Chesapeake Bay. We picked crabs for hours. This is my favorite meal, and is easy for my partner to "prepare." My brother and his wife enjoyed it, as well, though I think my sister-in-law grew tired of crab-picking after the first two. It does take patience -- and we kept telling her that it's really not the crabs, but the social experience of crab-picking that makes it so much fun.
Wednesday, I brought my partner to a world-class hospital where he had his non-cancerous brain tumor "resolved." He was released later that evening. I spent Thursday and Friday by his side as he recovered. He recovered very quickly and well.
Saturday was promising to be a gorgeous day, so I brought my brother to a Harley dealership up north of us to rent a Harley for a day. He rented one like the one that I have, and we rode together for about 150 miles, stopping for lunch and gas and stretch breaks. We didn't know where we were going, but we had a great time riding together. His wife, by the way, was picked up by one of our sisters to go do girly things (like shopping.) I had a senior pal who my partner likes very much stay the day with him, just in case he needed anything and to make me feel less guilty leaving him alone so soon after surgery while going to ride motorcycles with my brother.
Sunday, yesterday, was sort of a wash-out. We awoke to the sounds of a thunderstorm and heavy rain. I was dismayed, because my brother and I were supposed to return that rental motorcycle before 10am to avoid another day's rental fee. Fortunately, the rain stopped and the pavement dried, so my brother and I could return the rental Harley, and then I could take him back home. And yes, he rode as my passenger on my Harley -- two guys on a Harley. No.big.deal. (Though some nutcase at the Harley rental shop had to make a homophobic wisecrack. My brother said something to him and shut him up. I detest narrow-minded ding-dongs who think that they always have to say something... stupid.)
As soon as my brother and I got home, my sister-in-law had prepared lunch for all of us. I parked my Harley in the garage and then the storm warnings began to sound again on my alert systems at home, and soon enough, it was raining hard again.
After lunch, my brother and sister-in-law took my truck and left to visit more family, while my partner and I sat in our basement and watched a movie together.
Back to work today (Monday).
Kinda boring, rather bland, but this is what I did on my Staycation. No more time off again until Christmas. It's great that I love my job, though, because it makes work something that I look forward to doing (and using my Harley to get there.)
Life is short: keep busy, share joy, and show those you love that you love them.
These days, I do not travel for vacation any more. My partner is unable to sit in an airplane for any length of time due to his disability (not the brain surgery, but his chronic hip condition which is inoperable). I can't stand being cooped up in a car for more than a few hours. I just go crazy. And regretfully, I have a chronic health condition that makes it difficult for me to ride my Harley more than a few hundred miles each day. Altogether, I have found that it's easier to stay home. (It's cheaper that way, too.)
I had the last week off from work -- my first time off since I started the new job. I began my "staycation" on Friday the 12th on a high note, by going on a motorcycle ride with some friends on a lovely day. We had a great time, and didn't get lost.
Frankly, I forgot what I did on the weekend... usual activities in caring for my senior pals, repairing or installing things for them in their homes, taking them grocery shopping, and spending time with my partner and my brother (and his wife) who are visiting.
I got busy on Monday the 15th with work in our yard, repairing a garden wall that had been damaged by the freeze-thaw cycle over some harsh winters. I got very tired of being stung by yellow jackets (bees/wasps) that had built a nest in the soil of that garden.
Tuesday was my birthday. It began brightly with a warm snuggle with my partner who had taken the day off. I was "kidnapped" by five senior pals and taken to breakfast. That was fun. Then my brother, his wife, and I went to visit a niece who had delivered twin boys three weeks earlier. It was great to meet our Great Nephews.
Late that afternoon, my partner bought a bushel of Maryland steamed crabs fresh from the Chesapeake Bay. We picked crabs for hours. This is my favorite meal, and is easy for my partner to "prepare." My brother and his wife enjoyed it, as well, though I think my sister-in-law grew tired of crab-picking after the first two. It does take patience -- and we kept telling her that it's really not the crabs, but the social experience of crab-picking that makes it so much fun.
Wednesday, I brought my partner to a world-class hospital where he had his non-cancerous brain tumor "resolved." He was released later that evening. I spent Thursday and Friday by his side as he recovered. He recovered very quickly and well.
Saturday was promising to be a gorgeous day, so I brought my brother to a Harley dealership up north of us to rent a Harley for a day. He rented one like the one that I have, and we rode together for about 150 miles, stopping for lunch and gas and stretch breaks. We didn't know where we were going, but we had a great time riding together. His wife, by the way, was picked up by one of our sisters to go do girly things (like shopping.) I had a senior pal who my partner likes very much stay the day with him, just in case he needed anything and to make me feel less guilty leaving him alone so soon after surgery while going to ride motorcycles with my brother.
Sunday, yesterday, was sort of a wash-out. We awoke to the sounds of a thunderstorm and heavy rain. I was dismayed, because my brother and I were supposed to return that rental motorcycle before 10am to avoid another day's rental fee. Fortunately, the rain stopped and the pavement dried, so my brother and I could return the rental Harley, and then I could take him back home. And yes, he rode as my passenger on my Harley -- two guys on a Harley. No.big.deal. (Though some nutcase at the Harley rental shop had to make a homophobic wisecrack. My brother said something to him and shut him up. I detest narrow-minded ding-dongs who think that they always have to say something... stupid.)
As soon as my brother and I got home, my sister-in-law had prepared lunch for all of us. I parked my Harley in the garage and then the storm warnings began to sound again on my alert systems at home, and soon enough, it was raining hard again.
After lunch, my brother and sister-in-law took my truck and left to visit more family, while my partner and I sat in our basement and watched a movie together.
Back to work today (Monday).
Kinda boring, rather bland, but this is what I did on my Staycation. No more time off again until Christmas. It's great that I love my job, though, because it makes work something that I look forward to doing (and using my Harley to get there.)
Life is short: keep busy, share joy, and show those you love that you love them.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
I'm In Love
I love and enjoy all of my family, from my nieces and nephews flung far and wide, to their children, my "greats," who range in age from 22 days to 18 years -- about the same age range between the youngest of my siblings (my twin brother) and our oldest sibling, who happens to be the grandfather of these two boys.
I'm in love, all over again. I think I can speak for my brother, too: the look in his eyes matched mine when we were cuddling these little guys -- bliss, peace, and love. (Sorry, no photos of him. He retains internet anonymity).
We have much to share about twinship, but the most important lesson is how to raise twins as independent and different people. Our parents helped each of us achieve our best by nurturing our various talents and supporting our different interests. They established a firm foundation -- truly, it was love at the base of our bond, from which great things emerged.
Funny, at age 22 days, these boys haven't discovered that each other exist yet, but when one fusses, the other does. Such is the start of "that twin thing." One knows when the other is happy, distressed, hungry, poopy, or sleepy. Their cycles are almost identical, even though they don't know that they are communicating through a bond that cannot be described. It's just there. My twin brother and I know how each other feel every minute of every day despite vast geographic distances or even when he's just down the hall in the guest room. We know.
Life is short: cuddle with those you love, and fall in love all over again. (And being the Uncle-ing sort, when they get poopy, hand 'em over to their Mom! LOL!)
Saturday, August 6, 2011
My Brother Is Now Officially Retired
My twin brother, J, has been in town since 30 July, and he is staying with my partner and me in our home. It is great having him around again. All week this past week, though, he has been involved in a lot of meetings leading up to his official retirement, which was yesterday.
My partner and I were invited to attend a reception in his honor at his place of work yesterday afternoon. We knew this was going to be very special, so one of our sisters arranged a surprise for him. You see, he told his wife that he would be busy all week and that she should not plan to travel from their home in France and arrive in DC until tomorrow (Sunday), since he wouldn't have time to spend with her during his last week of work. She bought a non-refundable air ticket that would bring her to DC on Sunday, 7 August.
Then we found out two weeks ago that his boss was going to have this reception, and a very, very special guest was going to attend it. Alas, my sister-in-law found that the cost to change her airline ticket would have been more than 500 Euro -- waaaayyy too much.
However, one of our sisters arranges travel for VIP travelers in the same place where my brother works. She made some inquiries and pulled some strings, and arranged for my sister-in-law to travel on Thursday. Keeping her early visit a surprise was hard to do -- but I kept my brother distracted on Thursday (so he wouldn't phone his wife) and our sister picked up his wife at the airport and had her stay in her home that night.
Back to the reception -- it was quite an affair. Several hundred people attended, which didn't surprise me but I think my brother was in shock. We were mixing and mingling, then his boss got everyone's attention. The boss said the usual pleasantries, then said, "and to present your award and official retirement certificate, we have some special guests. First, let's ask someone special to you to be with you as you receive it..."
...then my sister-in-law stepped out from behind a curtain. My brother rushed to her, hugged her tightly, and I could tell that he was asking, "how did you get here? When did you arrive? Who arranged this?" ... while I didn't hear exactly what he said, my "twin thing" was communicating 100% of his feelings through me. I tell 'ya, tears began to well up.
But the boss wasn't done. He continued, "now let's have our special guest make the official presentation...." and out walked one of the highest ranking officials in the entire U.S. Government. I can't say who it was or the title, because I don't want to attract media attention to this blog. But let me confirm, that person is impressive!
My brother went into shock. His jaw dropped to the floor (almost) and I could tell that he was shaking. Seriously nervous. The official was gracious, kind, and thoughtful. The official gave a very heartwarming speech and congratulated my brother on his 32 years of service to our country.
The room burst into applause. Then my brother was asked to speak. He stood before the group at the microphone and I could tell that he was struggling. He was still shaking. He looked at me, and I smiled warmly at him and gave him a hand signal which between us means, "go for it".
He composed himself, and said, "my brother should be giving this speech. He's the public speaker in the family and we never could shut him up." That crack lightened the mood and caused everyone to laugh. My brother thanked everyone very graciously. Then he called me, my partner, and my five siblings who were there to join his wife at the front of the room, and gave an impassioned thanks to us for our support.
It was then that both he and I broke into tears. But good tears.
Now my brother turns the page on a new chapter in his life. His wife, me, and our wonderful family will be by his side, always.
Life is short: show those you love that you love them.
P.S.: I was wearing a suit (yuck), silk tie (double-yuck), and a new pair of very dressy black Lucchese goatskin cowboy boots (yea!) that my brother bought for me for our birthday that is coming up. I'll feature photos on my website and this blog at a later date.
My partner and I were invited to attend a reception in his honor at his place of work yesterday afternoon. We knew this was going to be very special, so one of our sisters arranged a surprise for him. You see, he told his wife that he would be busy all week and that she should not plan to travel from their home in France and arrive in DC until tomorrow (Sunday), since he wouldn't have time to spend with her during his last week of work. She bought a non-refundable air ticket that would bring her to DC on Sunday, 7 August.
Then we found out two weeks ago that his boss was going to have this reception, and a very, very special guest was going to attend it. Alas, my sister-in-law found that the cost to change her airline ticket would have been more than 500 Euro -- waaaayyy too much.
However, one of our sisters arranges travel for VIP travelers in the same place where my brother works. She made some inquiries and pulled some strings, and arranged for my sister-in-law to travel on Thursday. Keeping her early visit a surprise was hard to do -- but I kept my brother distracted on Thursday (so he wouldn't phone his wife) and our sister picked up his wife at the airport and had her stay in her home that night.
Back to the reception -- it was quite an affair. Several hundred people attended, which didn't surprise me but I think my brother was in shock. We were mixing and mingling, then his boss got everyone's attention. The boss said the usual pleasantries, then said, "and to present your award and official retirement certificate, we have some special guests. First, let's ask someone special to you to be with you as you receive it..."
...then my sister-in-law stepped out from behind a curtain. My brother rushed to her, hugged her tightly, and I could tell that he was asking, "how did you get here? When did you arrive? Who arranged this?" ... while I didn't hear exactly what he said, my "twin thing" was communicating 100% of his feelings through me. I tell 'ya, tears began to well up.
But the boss wasn't done. He continued, "now let's have our special guest make the official presentation...." and out walked one of the highest ranking officials in the entire U.S. Government. I can't say who it was or the title, because I don't want to attract media attention to this blog. But let me confirm, that person is impressive!
My brother went into shock. His jaw dropped to the floor (almost) and I could tell that he was shaking. Seriously nervous. The official was gracious, kind, and thoughtful. The official gave a very heartwarming speech and congratulated my brother on his 32 years of service to our country.
The room burst into applause. Then my brother was asked to speak. He stood before the group at the microphone and I could tell that he was struggling. He was still shaking. He looked at me, and I smiled warmly at him and gave him a hand signal which between us means, "go for it".
He composed himself, and said, "my brother should be giving this speech. He's the public speaker in the family and we never could shut him up." That crack lightened the mood and caused everyone to laugh. My brother thanked everyone very graciously. Then he called me, my partner, and my five siblings who were there to join his wife at the front of the room, and gave an impassioned thanks to us for our support.
It was then that both he and I broke into tears. But good tears.
Now my brother turns the page on a new chapter in his life. His wife, me, and our wonderful family will be by his side, always.
Life is short: show those you love that you love them.
P.S.: I was wearing a suit (yuck), silk tie (double-yuck), and a new pair of very dressy black Lucchese goatskin cowboy boots (yea!) that my brother bought for me for our birthday that is coming up. I'll feature photos on my website and this blog at a later date.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
You Must Be With... the Fam
My sister M was involved in a very bad automobile crash on Tuesday afternoon, when some idiot didn't stop at a cross-street and t-boned her car as she was driving. Fortunately, she has a car with many airbags, all of which were deployed.
She was rushed by ambulance to the closest hospital, which is near where I live. The family "communications vine" lit up. That is, I received several email messages and two phone calls. All we knew was that she was involved in a very bad crash and that she was rushed to the hospital. One can't help but fear the worst.
I found out about it just about the time I was leaving work. I rode my Harley as fast (yet safely) as I could to the hospital. When I arrived, I had that anxious look on my face, that hospital staff know means, "where's my family in the emergency room?" Funny, though, the desk attendant said, "you must be with (my sister's name) ... lots of your family are here already" and she pointed to the waiting room. (LOL! yep, our family is known to show up in numbers when one of us is rushed to the hospital. They all know us.)
I saw my sister's husband, three of her children, five grandchildren, and two more of my siblings in the waiting room. Within the hour, 12 more of the family showed up. The hospital staff was getting a bit anxious because so many of us were there. I must admit, we were a bit noisy. A hospital staffer kept coming in about every five minutes to say, "now, only immediate family can be with her. You all can't go see her." I really think they were afraid that we were going to storm the room where my sister was being treated.
We know the rules... we waited. Her husband went to my sister's treatment room when they allowed the first visitor, and then reported to us about ten minutes later how she was: bruised and battered, but no life-threatening injuries. We were relieved. But to be sure, the docs had to take some more x-rays and tests to make sure there were no internal injuries or broken bones.
The hospital staff let us each have a short visit on a rotating basis (one out, one in). One of us at a time were allowed to go see her and spend five minutes, then come out and let the next person go see her. We kept this family visit rotation going on until she was released. (Actually, I left by 8:30pm, since I had to be in bed by 9pm, and I knew that my sister would be okay. I was informed via email that she was released about 11pm.)
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I knew that my partner would be worried if I did not arrive home when expected. It took me a while, but I finally reached him and told him that I wouldn't be home for dinner and did not know when I would get home, but I was okay. He was concerned about my sister, and relieved to know that my delay had nothing to do with a motorcycle crash in which I may have been involved (he always worries about me when he knows I'm riding my Harley.)
When it was my time to see my sister, I held her hand, told her that I loved her, then talked about what she has done that I appreciate so much. From the little things like making me food that I can eat (that is, is compatible with my chronic health condition) at the family dinners, to the big things like helping to educate my Mom that my being gay wasn't the end of the world. She helped my Mom learn about homosexuality and how to love a gay son. She is, and always has been, my "big sister." (Yes, I have six more sisters and I love each of them dearly; each one is special to me in her own way).
I am glad that my sister will be okay. I am also glad that -- each and every time I see my family -- I always make sure that when I am leaving that I stop and say to each one, "I love you." Honestly, you never know when something may happen that may take them away from you. These three powerful words mean so much.
Life is short: show those you love that you love them.
She was rushed by ambulance to the closest hospital, which is near where I live. The family "communications vine" lit up. That is, I received several email messages and two phone calls. All we knew was that she was involved in a very bad crash and that she was rushed to the hospital. One can't help but fear the worst.
I found out about it just about the time I was leaving work. I rode my Harley as fast (yet safely) as I could to the hospital. When I arrived, I had that anxious look on my face, that hospital staff know means, "where's my family in the emergency room?" Funny, though, the desk attendant said, "you must be with (my sister's name) ... lots of your family are here already" and she pointed to the waiting room. (LOL! yep, our family is known to show up in numbers when one of us is rushed to the hospital. They all know us.)
I saw my sister's husband, three of her children, five grandchildren, and two more of my siblings in the waiting room. Within the hour, 12 more of the family showed up. The hospital staff was getting a bit anxious because so many of us were there. I must admit, we were a bit noisy. A hospital staffer kept coming in about every five minutes to say, "now, only immediate family can be with her. You all can't go see her." I really think they were afraid that we were going to storm the room where my sister was being treated.
We know the rules... we waited. Her husband went to my sister's treatment room when they allowed the first visitor, and then reported to us about ten minutes later how she was: bruised and battered, but no life-threatening injuries. We were relieved. But to be sure, the docs had to take some more x-rays and tests to make sure there were no internal injuries or broken bones.
The hospital staff let us each have a short visit on a rotating basis (one out, one in). One of us at a time were allowed to go see her and spend five minutes, then come out and let the next person go see her. We kept this family visit rotation going on until she was released. (Actually, I left by 8:30pm, since I had to be in bed by 9pm, and I knew that my sister would be okay. I was informed via email that she was released about 11pm.)
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I knew that my partner would be worried if I did not arrive home when expected. It took me a while, but I finally reached him and told him that I wouldn't be home for dinner and did not know when I would get home, but I was okay. He was concerned about my sister, and relieved to know that my delay had nothing to do with a motorcycle crash in which I may have been involved (he always worries about me when he knows I'm riding my Harley.)
When it was my time to see my sister, I held her hand, told her that I loved her, then talked about what she has done that I appreciate so much. From the little things like making me food that I can eat (that is, is compatible with my chronic health condition) at the family dinners, to the big things like helping to educate my Mom that my being gay wasn't the end of the world. She helped my Mom learn about homosexuality and how to love a gay son. She is, and always has been, my "big sister." (Yes, I have six more sisters and I love each of them dearly; each one is special to me in her own way).
I am glad that my sister will be okay. I am also glad that -- each and every time I see my family -- I always make sure that when I am leaving that I stop and say to each one, "I love you." Honestly, you never know when something may happen that may take them away from you. These three powerful words mean so much.
Life is short: show those you love that you love them.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Great Uncle-ing
Yesterday, BHD's alter ego became a Great Uncle to twin boys. Makes #39 and 40 of "the greats" in the family (that is, children of BHD's siblings' children). His niece, the Mom, is doing fine, and her husband -- as usual -- showed pictures of the boys on Facebook. Amazing how Facebook has replaced all other forms of communication about the birth of children.
Honestly, BHD's alter ego wouldn't know who's who and born to whom in his humongous family if it weren't for that social media site. He kinda has a love-hate relationship with it, but it does keep him well informed about what his family, friends, and professional colleagues are doing.
"BHD" is not on Facebook. BHD's alter-ego, the guy on Facebook, does not "friend" people who he does not know. He uses it strictly to keep up with family, neighbors, motorcycle riding buddies, and colleagues from his profession around the world. This is another way that he strives to keep himself in different worlds. Blog here, Facebook there... LOL! (It is weird talking about myself in the third person! LOL!)
BHD's alter ego plans to visit the newest additions to the family this coming weekend. He is thrilled -- more twin boys in the family! BHD and his twin, J, can share some of our experience which may help their Mom and Dad understand how to be good parents to fraternal twins.
Woo-hoo! both BHD's alter ego and I are one very happy Great Uncle! (J is too, but this is confusing enough!)
Life is short: love your family!
Honestly, BHD's alter ego wouldn't know who's who and born to whom in his humongous family if it weren't for that social media site. He kinda has a love-hate relationship with it, but it does keep him well informed about what his family, friends, and professional colleagues are doing.
"BHD" is not on Facebook. BHD's alter-ego, the guy on Facebook, does not "friend" people who he does not know. He uses it strictly to keep up with family, neighbors, motorcycle riding buddies, and colleagues from his profession around the world. This is another way that he strives to keep himself in different worlds. Blog here, Facebook there... LOL! (It is weird talking about myself in the third person! LOL!)
BHD's alter ego plans to visit the newest additions to the family this coming weekend. He is thrilled -- more twin boys in the family! BHD and his twin, J, can share some of our experience which may help their Mom and Dad understand how to be good parents to fraternal twins.
Woo-hoo! both BHD's alter ego and I are one very happy Great Uncle! (J is too, but this is confusing enough!)
Life is short: love your family!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Brothers?
I received an email the other day from a frequent reader of this blog. He was confused. He read the post about my twin brother retiring, then another post about me going to "a brother's" for a crab feast.
How many brothers do you have?" was the inquiry. "I'm confused."
Sorry for any confusion. Regular readers of this blog have read occasional postings that I have written about my family. I am blessed, truly blessed, with seven brothers. I am also very blessed to have seven sisters. All from the same Mom and Dad. Yep, our Mom was "fertile"!
So when I write about doing this with a brother or that with a sister, or celebrating birthdays of nieces, nephews, and "the greats," I am fortunate to have many family members to do things with. I am exceptionally pleased that we all remain close. Granted, I may not be that close with some of my brothers- or sisters-in-law, but that's okay -- blood keeps the siblings close, regardless of a few rare disagreements brought on by some in-laws.
What's it like to be the only gay dude in a large family? Read this past blog post for details.
The most frequent question that I have received is, "in such a large family, are you the only one who is gay?" In our case, the answer is yes. I know that's against the regular law of averages, but so be it.
It's great having such a large family. We all are different, do different things, have different lives, work at different jobs. But together, we compose a close and loving family. That's what it's all about.
Life is short: show those you love that you love them.
How many brothers do you have?" was the inquiry. "I'm confused."
Sorry for any confusion. Regular readers of this blog have read occasional postings that I have written about my family. I am blessed, truly blessed, with seven brothers. I am also very blessed to have seven sisters. All from the same Mom and Dad. Yep, our Mom was "fertile"!
So when I write about doing this with a brother or that with a sister, or celebrating birthdays of nieces, nephews, and "the greats," I am fortunate to have many family members to do things with. I am exceptionally pleased that we all remain close. Granted, I may not be that close with some of my brothers- or sisters-in-law, but that's okay -- blood keeps the siblings close, regardless of a few rare disagreements brought on by some in-laws.
What's it like to be the only gay dude in a large family? Read this past blog post for details.
The most frequent question that I have received is, "in such a large family, are you the only one who is gay?" In our case, the answer is yes. I know that's against the regular law of averages, but so be it.
It's great having such a large family. We all are different, do different things, have different lives, work at different jobs. But together, we compose a close and loving family. That's what it's all about.
Life is short: show those you love that you love them.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Father's Day
Thinking of my Dad today; I sure miss him. I learned a lot from him in the 12 years that we shared together on this planet.
Those of you who still have Dads don't know how lucky you are. Go give him a hug, or if you're far away, at least give your Dad a call.
This past blog post explains a bit about my Dad if you care to read it.
Meanwhile, today will find me going on a motorcycle ride, and I think I just may find myself going to one of my Dad's favorite places on my way home to sit, think, and smile in honor and memory of a wonderful man.
Life is short: show those you love that you love them.
Those of you who still have Dads don't know how lucky you are. Go give him a hug, or if you're far away, at least give your Dad a call.
This past blog post explains a bit about my Dad if you care to read it.
Meanwhile, today will find me going on a motorcycle ride, and I think I just may find myself going to one of my Dad's favorite places on my way home to sit, think, and smile in honor and memory of a wonderful man.
Life is short: show those you love that you love them.
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