Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Reunited In The Shower

My partner went to see his mother for Easter. He left last Thursday. My twin brother arrived that night, so initially, I was involved in catching up with him, visiting family, and going about my usual routine with grocery shopping for myself and some neighbors, and other mundane tasks.

On Saturday morning, though, I was feeling lonely and a bit melancholy. These feelings washed over me when I awoke at dawn, and did my usual schootch-to-the-right to get close to where my man usually is, but he wasn't there. It was an subconscious action. I knew he wasn't there. But I still did that little slide in bed as if he were.

How I missed having his warm body to snuggle close to, and his chest upon which to rest my head. I missed listening to his insights about so many things, to have someone to talk to about our lives, and with whom to be intimate. Someone who above all others, makes me feel warm, safe, and secure.

I got up, got dressed, and went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. My brother was still sleeping, and the house sounded soooooo quiet. No washer or dryer running, no pounding across the upstairs hallway while clothes were being put away and linens were changed on the bed, no bloop-bloop-a-doop of the Tivo being programmed. I went out to feed the birds and squirrels, and sat on my partner's bench in the garden. In the rain. In the cold. I was lost in thought about someone I love very much, in one of his favorite places on Earth. (Until my brother called out the back door, "Hey! Are you crazy???" and brought me back to my senses.)

I got busy and carried on with my day, as well as on Sunday, too. I got lots of stuff done, more renovation work completed on the house, more joy shared with family... but nothing feels as empty as your heart when your bed is empty, too.

While I spoke with my partner on the phone a few times while he was away, it's still not the same. A little catch-up about the mail or that my brother was here (and is a wuss!)... but what I missed is the ongoing banter and interaction through dialogue. It's just not the same by phone as when your man is by your side.

When I got home from work yesterday, my partner had returned. He had already unpacked, had a load of laundry in the machine, and was taking a shower. I took off my boots, peeled off my work clothes, and stepped into the shower with him. He smiled, we embraced, kissed passionately ... and....

Life is short: show those you love that you love them.

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