Life's Ultimate Final Exam

I posted on this blog that the woman who served as my very first mentor had died on Christmas Eve. She took me under her wing when I was a 17-year-old deer-in-the-headlights, freshly-minted volunteer for a non-profit organization. She taught me more than I can relate here, or for that matter, more than you would ever want to read. This woman was 41 years older than me. In many respects, she was like another mother. But different from that. I'd say that at first she was a teacher, then she became a listener, she served as a helper, a guide, a leader ... but most of all, a true friend. Together we formed a close bond of friendship that endured 'til the end of her life.

Yesterday, I had both the honor and the fear of serving as the person to give the eulogy at my dear friend's memorial service. (Note, this is a different friend from the gentleman about whom I blogged on Friday. It is regretful that several deaths of people I have known and loved have happened recently).

One thing I want to bring up here on this blog, which I mentioned during my eulogy, was why I am smiling, why I talk about being positive, and why I look at the bright side of life. It was my dear friend who taught me that. She had setbacks and adversity to deal with. In her later years, she was in pain and medical problems were rather severe. But not once did she complain. She always, always, always had a cheery disposition and nice things to say. I try to follow the example that she left for me: look at the bright side of life, and make lemonade when life serves you lemons. What an enduring lesson that I hope beyond measure that I have adopted in my day-to-day life.

Rather than bore you with my ten minutes of eulogy content about someone you don't know, let me affirm what comes from my faith. This is a spiritual faith, not a religious one.

I believe in the circle of life. You are born not knowing anything or anyone. You develop relationships with people, and you learn (provided the adults in your life nurture you well). You grow up, perhaps have a family, and do productive things. Hopefully, you care for others and help improve your world in some way or another. With any luck, you have taken time to have some fun along the way, too. You retire, but don't stop working. It just changes the schedule of your work. Then you die. If things went well during your lifetime, you have taught and influenced others who will continue to make your works carry forward into the future. Thus: the circle of life. (Purely my own statement and thoughts, not "borrowed" from elsewhere on the Internet.)

Look back and ask some tough questions:

• Did I make a difference?

• Will anyone be able to say what I have done?

• Did I leave a smile on other people's faces?

• Do those whom I loved know that I loved them?

To me, these are the questions for the ultimate final exam.

And I can say that while I am not perfect and have much to learn, that my faith -- and striving that the answers to these questions be affirmative about me -- is what drives me to love, to care, to extend a helping hand, to serve the community, to share smiles and joy, and overall: show those whom I love that I love them. Not just say or talk about it, but do it.

My wonderful friend did those things for me and countless others, each and every day that I knew her. That is what I said in my eulogy -- how the circle of life goes around, and how my friend passed the ultimate final exam with a 1000% score.

And this is what my partner does for me, too. He helps me be positive, bright, and forward-looking. His caring love, deep concern, and strong support enables me to remain happy, positive, and keep a smile on my face. I surround myself with happy people, and smart ones, too, because they keep me strong and they will be the ones to answer those questions about me on that final exam.

Life is short: live it fully, love it completely, and by all means, show those whom you love that you love them.