--BHD
My Perspective on Wearing Leather
BHD has given me some questions to help guide me along -- an interview of sorts -- I will attempt to answer coherently:
1. What is it about wearing leather that you like?
I like the way it looks. I like the confidence it represents. I like the way people react to it. It makes me feel good. Much better than a suit or a good pair of jeans. Wearing leather gives the impression that I don't completely conform to everybody's whims, and if you choose to enter into a relationship with me -- whether it be business or friendship -- you should not expect me to go along with how the mainstream may do things. The mainstream is more becoming screwed up!
People are more and more just becoming "Look At Me" copy-cat automatons incapable of independent thought.
2. What do you think about having an interest in leather and not having an interest in men?
I admit I think some guys look good in leather, but it stops there. Some guys look great in a good suit or a pair of jeans. It is possible to admire something without wanting to hump it. Takes some practice but it is accomplishable. Its called self control! Our society has too little of it these days. Is it possible to say, "that is a good looking guy" and not be gay? Yes.
Completely. And I am not deluding myself. I think leather is a wonderful material -- supplied by God -- I love wearing it and the way it looks. I have gained confidence since I realized that. Maybe psychiatrists should try making patients with low self esteem wear leather out in public. Hey, maybe I'm onto something: "Leather Therapy" LOL!
As I explained previously when I wear leather I feel confident. I like the way it wears. It is strong. It can be rejuvenated. All I have to do is imagine what I would loose should I ever indulge and my thoughts go another direction. There is a difference between lust and love. Lust happens all of the time. Its human nature!
We lust after people, food, and things. It is completely possible to control lust and keep it where it belongs just as it is completely possible for me to not eat half of a pecan pie in one sitting, much as I'd like to. Look: I have kids who depend on me, a wife who depends on me. Would I destroy or at least severely change their lives for a selfish indulgence? Sure it will make me feel physically great for a fleeting moment but it will destroy three other lives in the process.
So how do I get what I want? I don't always get what I want. That’s what is wrong with society. Everybody is trying to get what they want and nobody is thinking about the lives they are impacting in the process. In the case of leather I just have honest conversations with my wife and it all seems to work out. Right now I want to get my ear pierced. She ain't down with that. We'll work on it. How many guys do you know who's wife lets them wear leather to church? Mine does. She says I look sexy.
If communication is what it should be in bed then your sexual needs should be satisfied! I love my wife. I am not attracted in a loving way to other men, wearing leather or not. I use lust to make creative energy. Works for me!
3. Do you think hanging out with gay guys may possibly cause others to raise questions in their mind about you? How do you feel about that?Yes, in fact I am a little surprised this didn't come to the top of the pile right off. I'm always telling my son, "Son, you are who you hang with." I'm not gay. I have known a couple of gay men through work. One of them was extremely insecure, and the other one was pretty confident. In fact, Rick, the confident guy was a lot of fun to be around. He wasn't constantly second-guessing himself. If he had not told me he was gay I probably would not have known. Being Gay wasn't the subject of *everything* that came out of his mouth, unlike the other guy. I found the insecure one very embarrassing. I would not want my sexuality questioned.
I think you can wear leather without people thinking you are gay. I have come across many many many masculine men in leather with their wife at their arm. They appeared to be happy. Probably because they weren’t sitting in a cubicle in some non-descript business but rather out enjoying their Harleys. After penning this out I will probably not find myself hanging out in a gay bar. Biker bar maybe, but not a gay bar.
So, if I may borrow the closing style of the great Blogger BHD: "If you like wearing leather, whatever the reason, wear it."
The Good Book says, "What is life, it is even a vapor that appears for a short time and then vanishes." Before you know it you'll be 80 wondering why you never wore the leather you liked so much. Wear your leather. Enjoy your life!"
Note from BHD: I truly appreciate the thought and energy that my friend put into writing this series of blog posts. He said, in a way, it was cathartic for him to express himself this way. I sure learned a lot. If you wish to write a message to send to him, write to me and I will forward it to him.
I hope you enjoyed this series. I hope to have other invited blog posts from other guys on occasion.
And remember: life is indeed short! Get out there and embrace your passion!
1 comment:
I am a gay dude not really into leather myself but I like the way it looks. You seem like a very thoughtful, cool person, and I admire your bravery. Living in a big city, I forget how judgemental and small people can be. It is a testament to your stregnth that you can do what you like, and to your soulfulness that you consider the feelings of others so much.
In my own life I've had conflict with gay guys and gayness. Not all gay people are cut from the same cloth. I am not a person interested in making being gay the center of the universe. I like to hang with people if they're cool, and that's that. I wish you the best of luck with the leather. You deserve it. Peace!
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