Monday, August 2, 2010

Living Vicariously

There are people who:
  • are curious to know what it's like to wear leather
  • would like to leather up and go out to some leather-dress-code-enforced gathering
  • would like to ride a motorcycle
  • would like to wear boots
...but who don't.

So they search the internet to explore their interests. Some of those searches end up on my website or this blog. Looking at photos and reading about what other guys do is a safe way of living vicariously through others (provided you're not on the computer 24/7).

For example, through a commentary exchange on this blog that I have been having with Straightjacketed, a bondophile in the UK who is a very nice guy, I am living vicariously with his interest and ability to get his partner to get into gear and go with him to The Hoist, which is a leather bar in London and has gatherings at which they enforce a strict dress code. For various reasons explained in all those comments (so not to be repeated here), my partner and I no longer gear-up and go out. But I enjoy reading about the experiences of a younger guy.

SJ also truly enjoys bondage, which he explains and demonstrates on his blog. I read it and learn what someone who does that enjoys. While bondage is not something I would want to do or would find stimulating, there are a lot of guys (both gay and straight) who do. Fa così sia, to each his own.

As another example, I see visitors come to my website from very rural areas of the United States (and other countries) where they can only dream about wearing leather, going out, riding a Harley, having a boot collection, or whatever. They are stuck. I know what it's like to live in a small town where everyone knows everyone else's business. The norms of the society in which they live are conservative and restrictive. If they put on a pair of leather pants, boots, and a leather shirt and went to a local pub or restaurant, they would feel very uncomfortable because of the reaction from family, friends, and neighbors who don't accept. They would be called names and perhaps worse: lose employment, housing, and maybe even be "run out of town." These things really do happen. So they keep their interests private by surfing the 'net and living vicariously through others (including this old vanilla leatherman, me.)

I admit: I live vicariously through others, too. There are things I might like to do, but either do not have the financial resources for exotic travel, the stamina to stay awake past 9:00pm, or a partner who has any interest in socializing with other people. So, SJ, keep posting, and please continue to comment, as I enjoy learning more, as well as your witty remarks and information that you share.

Other guys: keep visiting the website and this blog. I'm always open to receiving questions which I may address in future blog posts or directly via email. I respect privacy, and know that living vicariously through others is human nature.

Life is short: explore!

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